Swimming In The Deep End
by DoubleAgentA
Summary: Bella Swan is a swimmer and a very good one. Her mum is so protective of her so when she starts dating edward there is hell to pay. and what if she was to get pregnant-would she,could she sacrifice her own career to raise a baby.FIND OUT...ALL HUMAN
1. party time

**Swimming in the deep end.**

'C'mon Bella, c'mon Bella you can do It, you can do it.' With every ounce of energy I could muster, I pushed myself through the water. This was the last length and I just _had _to win the race_. _I could hear the roar of the crowd and even if they weren't all shouting for me, it didn't matter-it made me swim faster.

'…And the winner this evening is Isabella Swan.' I had just won the 100meters freestyle for my club. One of the judges placed a medal around my neck, and then held my arm up high. I was breathless with joy.

Back in the changing room, my head felt giddy. Everyone was talking at once.

'Bella you were amazing.'

'Well done.'

'Congratulation'

'Bella you were on top form' said Helen a good friend of mine.

'You weren't bad your self, Helen. It was a good thing that you were in last position in the rely- your really made up for lost time.

Helen smiled, and said modestly, 'it was the whole team pulling together.' I squeezed her arm and smiled. We both knew the truth, but we left it at that. As I came out of the shower, I could hear someone calling my name. I knew that voice. It was Renee, my mum.

'BABY', she shouted out. I winced, slightly embarrassed. She put her long arm around me, and with her lean hard body she hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe.

Standing back she looked at me, grinning, revealing white, even teeth. Tears filled her eyes and mascara had started to run. Hugging me again, she whispered' I love you darling and I am so proud of you' her words lifted me and meant just as much to me as the medal I just won this evening, if not more.

Backing my long, silky mahogany hair, I thought how far I had come. As a child I had suffer from asthma, and the doctor told my mum that swimming would help my breathing. So every week, my mum would take me to our local swimming baths. I hated it. I hated getting water in my eyes. I hated the smell of chlorine. I hated wearing my swimming costume, because I felt half naked. I just _hated_ it.

But Mum kept encouraging me and I suppose it was really to please her- because I knew that the last asthma attack really frighten her- that I kept the swimming up. It took me a very long time to start enjoy swimming. I can't pinpoint when I changed my mind, but like it I did. I ended up joining a swimming club. To my surprise, I discovered that I was quite good. The swimming coach thought I had potential, so with mum n one ear and him in the other, I thought id make a go at it. Having a look in the mirror, I liked what I saw. I was tall and slim with a narrow waist and long legs. My hair was long and wavy, up to my mid back. But I didn't find anything special in my big boring brown eyes. My skin was very pale but not the sickly pale one.

Even though, I didn't really like my skin tone, when ever I go out on the street and talk to someone I haven't seen in ages, I could guarantee that, somewhere in the conversation, they would say, 'Your skin look lovely. How did you get it like that?' My reply was always: 'Swimming'. I looked healthy. And I felt it too.

Instead of going home in the minibus with the rest of the team, I went home with my mum and dad Charlie. 'Bella I am so proud of you' said Charlie. My mum was driving her black BMW.

Mum went into how she felt when she saw me dive in the water. 'I couldn't sit down. I was on my feet shouting. Alice was shouting and screaming like something wild. Even Rosalie was cheering. When you won, I think some people must have thought we were crazy, high on something, but I tell you Bella we were past caring. It was one of the most fantastic moments of my life.'

I thought of Alice jumping and shout and it fitted her character well, but what surprise me was hearing Rosalie cheering for me too. Alice with her tiny self, no taller then 5ft. And her bright green eyes. If you don't do a double take, she could be mistaken for a pixie. Rosalie on the other hand was beautiful, with her long blond hair and killer body and icy blue eyes. But she never really seemed to like me that much, for some reason.

Alice wants to be a Fashion designer and Rosalie wants to be a model. The three of us were ambitious. I was the swimmer, Alice is the fashion intern and Rosalie is a model for a small calendar company. I want to be an English teacher or a lawyer in the future, something to help others. I was doing as much study as I could at the moment, but a lot of my time was given over to swimming. Swimming is my life. I sometimes wondered what would happen if, for some reason, I couldn't swim any more-I rather die! Sounds a bit melodramatic, but that is the way I felt.

Mum parked the car in our drive. It was a pleasantly warm night in fork, not very usual. Getting out of the car, the air felt as soft as velvet on my skin. As I walked to the front door, I was dumbstruck. Most of the swimming club stood there in front of me with big grins on their faces. No wonder they had said to me when we parted 'see you at the party.' Alice threw her tiny arms around my neck and shouted 'Party time girl. CONGRATULATIONS. You were a fish out there.'

'Yeah from now on we'll call you Flipper.' Helen chipped in.

There was a hastily made banner hanging across the stairs which had, 'WELL DONE BELLA.' I could hear the music in the background, and people were milling around with plates of food and drinks in their hands.

Hugging mum I said. 'You must been quite busy mum. It a good thing I won today!'

'I never doubted you Bella.' S he looked at me seriously and added, 'I'm glad you're in my life.'

When mum said that I knew exactly what she meant. Ti might sound soppy but her words made me feel good inside. You see when she was a bit older then me, she was all set on modeling and ready to take the world by storm. She had it all, the looks, figure, and, most importantly, contacts. Mum always said 'it's not what you know, it's who you know.' She was going to be big, because she was already known in England but when she meet dad everything went wrong. She got pregnant with me. And she didn't want to keep me because I would be a distraction. Dad didn't mind, he wanted her to keep me. She was in a dilemma- Career or Baby. The circumstances were hard but the love was there and they got married and had me. 20years later and they are still going strong.

By now the party was in full swing. Someone had turned the music up and that got everyone dancing even Charlie was dancing! I felt like a pop star, everyone keep hugging me and congratulating me. I was feeling peckish, so I went to the kitchen to find something to eat. I was nibbling on a fairy cake when some one came behind meand put their hands over my eyes. I knew straight away who it was.

**This is the very first chapter and I hope that it is good.**


	2. reminscing

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Chapter 2**

**By now the party was in full swing. Someone had turned the music up and that got everyone dancing even Charlie was dancing! I felt like a pop star, everyone keep hugging me and congratulating me. I was feeling peckish, so I went to the kitchen to find something to eat. I was nibbling on a fairy cake when some one came behind me****and put their hands over my eyes. I knew straight away who it was.**

* * *

'Cullen, I know it's you.'

He kissed me on the cheek. I didn't want to admit it even to my self, but I liked the way he was so familiar with me. I had a quick look around to check where Mum was and spotted her gossiping to her friends.

'Congratulation,' he said, and gave me a present, gift wrapped in fancy paper and tied with gold ribbons. Then he leaned closer to me and said, 'Remember the name's Edward. Edward Cullen.' His breathe smelt fresh and minty. And all I could do was blushed like an idiot.

I sort of smiled back at him but wondered how he'd found out about the party. Having him in my house, especially among my friends and family made me feel physically weak. I had meet Edward at the sports centre. I was in the gym at the time doing some weights. I was so into my routine, I didn't take much notice of him at first. But, the next thing I knew, he'd planted himself down the bench next to where I was toning my biceps.

'Hi' he said.

I thought he was a nut case – an extremely good looking nut case with that, striking green emerald eyes and the messy bronze colored hair : God what I wouldn't give to run my hands through it. NO STOP IT!!!!

I mean, here I was, sweating and heaving, and he comes and sits down casually and says 'Hi.' Did he think we were in a night club or something? His approach should have put me off, but he did make me laugh. Later, when I came out of the changing room he was waiting for me. We ended in the cafeteria. Talking.

Edward was pretty decent, once you get to know him. He always fancied him self as some sort of 'hot stuff', but he seem to fancy me too. When he looked at me my stomach flipped over and I felt a tingling sensation down my spine. His emerald eyes really mesmerized me. His skin was smooth and pale. Add to that his chiseled cheekbones and perfect white teeth, and 6ft frame. Edward and I seemed to get along really well, always bumping into each other. Over the weeks, I learnt more about him and his family. And one day, he decided to take me to his family. My stomach was in knot and I wondered why did it bother me what they thought about me anyways?

His family was kind and I could see that the good looks ran in the family. His parents were extremely beautiful and very kind people. His dad was the best doctor in town and Esme his mum had her own restaurant in Seattle. The family was extremely rich and you could tell by the clothes and the house and cars that they had. Alice and Emmett were Edward's siblings. They didn't look anything alike, but the only way you could tell they were related was the eyes: GREEN. BRIGHT GREEN. Alice was seeing Jasper hale and Emmett was seeing jasper sister Rosalie Hale and all of them were very beautiful. Although, a lot of people have told me that I was beautiful, I didn't feel it whenever I was standing next to any of them because I always felt plain.

I was surprised when he asked me if I would like to see a movie one Saturday evening. I thought about it for a moment.

I'd never really had a proper boyfriend. Partly because I had never met any that I liked or partly because of what happen to mum and dad. Also, I didn't have enough energy after swimming. But I realized a little fun wouldn't do any harm. So we went and had a great time.

Edward took me out a few more time after the party, but as far as I could suss out, he just wanted to be friends.

'How did you find out about the party?' I asked curiously 'A party I didn't even know I was having myself?'

He tapped his nose. 'Hah Hah. I have my ways and means.'

I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. Sometimes guys can be so juvenile.

Even though I have never admitted it, but I like Edward more than a friend. But I could never tell him that, could I?

**This is the second chapter- AYO NOT AMANDA**


	3. what is going on?

**Swimming in the deep end**

_**OK. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE REAADING THE STORY BUT JUST CANT BE BOTHERED TO REVIEW. IT IS OK BECAUSE I DO THAT AS WELL. BUT IF YOU DON'T REVIEW I WONT BE ABLE TO CHANGE ANYTHING THAT YPU DON'T LIKE OR I WONT KNOW IF THE STORY IS ACTUALLY GOOD OR NOT. SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS STORY CAN YOU PLEASE FING IT IN YOUR TIME TO TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE.**_

* * *

RING!! RING!!!RING!!!!

Stupid alarm clock! Why does it have to ring? Why can't school start on a Wednesday and finish on a Thursday? It will make everybody's life easier.

I know that I sound grumpy but I am not the happiest person in the morning. If school start at 12:00pm and finish at 1:30pm, I wouldn't mind going to school, but no it has to start at 8:40am (_**well that is the time my school starts anyway, but I am not sure if it is the same in America).**_

_30mins later:_

'Charlie this isn't working out. We are not happy. Why can't you just let me move on?' I heard my mum and dad whispering in their bedroom. No, I wasn't been noisy but I could still hear them.

'Renee, Bella is a grown girl, you just cant move her because you want to move, that is not fair. She might want to stay here.' Charlie argued back. What the hell were they talking about? 'She is got everything work for her: swimming, good friend, good education and you just want to take her away from all that.'

NO! I am not liking where this is going. I mean sure I know that my mum and dad were arguing but I didn't know it was up to the point where my mum wants to move out. Slowly, I backed away form the door. I rode to school in my red 1953 Chevrolet Pickup Truck. I made it too school with just 3mins to spare. I headed to my first lesson, since the bell had probably gone. But being me, I managed to trip on my own two feet. Yes I might be able to swim, but I can't walk in a straight line without hurting my self or other around me. I arrived in English, the teacher stopped and everyone looked at me. I bowed my head as a blush started to appear. I mumbled a sorry I'm late and walked to my seat. When English was over, I made my way to geometry which I was not looking forward to. Mike Newton appeared beside me and started gushing about me winning the race yesterday. But I was hardly listening to what he was saying. Geometry dragged on and on but finally it was lunch time.

I went to the line a got myself and apple and a soda and I went to take my seat next to Angela and the other people on the table. I noticed Alice and Rosalie were sitting with the popular people but I wasn't sitting with them because I didn't really get along with Rosalie and it was a well know fact the she couldn't sit on a table with me without feeling the urge to insult me. So I told Alice to sit with her because I didn't want her to feel like I stole her friend away and technically she has known Alice longer. I felt a hand on my shoulder and was surprised to find Edward there. My minding was racing with so many questions. Edward and I are friends but we didn't talk to each other in school so I was pretty surprised to find him there.

'Do you have a minute?' I could feel every body's eyes on me and I probably know the question that was racing through everyone's head: 'Why is Edward talking to that swimmer kid?' I couldn't blame them because I was pretty plain, so what will a guy like that see in a girl like me?

'Umm…y-yeah.' God I must sound like an idiot.

We walked down the corridor and I was happy be out of the room which so many people looking at you and wondering what you were doing with the best looking and most popular guy in the whole school.

Edward suddenly stopped.

'Are you going to the GYM on Saturday, because if you are I could come pick you up?'

'I don't that is such a good idea…' I started saying but was cut of by Edward.

'Come on Bella, you always say that. Please let me pick you up.' As cheesy as it might sound but I got lost in his big green mesmerizing eyes

'O-ok.'

'Good, so 8:00, on Saturday?' he confirmed and all I could do was nod my head. He left me standing in the corridor thinking to myself what just happened. I meant yeah, me and Edward always hang out with each other. But something felt different about this time. Like it was a very important chunk in my life and was probably going to change my life for good.

Some thing doesn't feel right. I always hang out with Edward. So why do I feel scared now?


	4. Commonwealth Games

**Swimming in the deep end**

**I want you to tell me what child you want Bella to have, and I don't think I can be bothered to do a poll so please just tell me in the reviews. If Bella ends up with a boy and you want her to have a girl, it might be because you didn't review and didn't get a chance to write what you want.**

_Some thing doesn't feel right. I always hang out with Edward. So why do I feel scared now?_

I managed to shake off the weird feeling about Edward driving me to the GYM tomorrow, but I still had butterflies in my stomach and it just seemed like I couldn't get rid of them.

After school, I made my way to my truck, but I had this feeling that someone was looking at me and turn to have a look and was surprised to see Lauren and Jessica, the sluts of the school looking at me. They stared at me and I stared at them, and I wasn't going to look away and after what seemed like ages they both decided to approach me.

Yes, just what I need. I thought to myself.

'So like Bella, we like heard that like the Edward Cullen asked you on a date on Saturday. Is it like true?' Lauren asked in her annoying voice, which was covered in disbelieve.

'Ok, can you keep a secret?' I asked the two of them and they both nodded their heads eagerly. 'Good, 'causes so can I.'

I walked away, and was about to get inside my truck, when someone tapped my shoulder.

'Bella, you know that we like you. So why are you going to keep a secret from your friends?' Jessica asked. I raised my eyebrow at Jessica but not because she called me her friend, but because she manages to say a sentence without using the word 'like'. WOW!

'Look, Edward and I are just friends, so stayed the hell away from me!!' my voice filling with more and more venom.

'Look, who the hell do you think you are Bella? Shouting at me, Lauren Mallory. Ok cut the crap, I don't even like you but if you don't stay the hell away from MY Edward I will make you your life a misery and you WILL regret the day you decided to mess with me!' and with that they both walked away, leaving me standing there in shock.

_After swimming…._

'Bella, can I have a word with you?' asked the club coach Jerry.

'Yeah, sure.' I turned and waved goodbye to Helen and sue and followed Jerry up to his office. I wondered what he wanted to see me about.

When we got to the office, he unlocked the door and told me to make myself feel at home. He obviously had a sense of humor. How could anyone make themselves at home in such a tip! There was an old wooden desk that woodworm had had more than a snack on and chairs that looked as though a herd of cows had stampeded over them. I didn't want to sit down but Jerry seemed oblivious to the look on my face.

Jerry was about sixty, born and breed in Italy, but moved to Forks at the age if 45. He was Jewish and and seemed about 10meters shorter than me. Most of his hair was nearly gone, but he was very fit and still had all his teeth, of which he was very proud.

He sat opposite me and pulled open the drawer of his desk.

'Bella, I'm going to tell it like it is.'

My heart stared to beat out a crazy rave beat. Jerry was spooking me out. Why all the mystery?

I soon found out.

Jerry took out a letter and started reading. As he talked my head started to spin.

'…To put it in a nutshell, you've been asked to take part in the July swimming Trials for the commonwealth Banes next year in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. If you succeed, you will be representing America.' He shouted the last name, by which time I was on my feet screaming with surprise. Jerry jumped up and down and stared punching the air. Then he came round and gave m a hug. 'Bella, you can do it, they left it a bit late to inform us, but that doesn't matter.' Jerry was a believer in positive thinking. 'You are going to make it. I have no doubt. You are going to win.'

'I have been after the scouts to come and see my club for ages, and when they finally come, it the very time we win. And you won so brilliantly. That is why they want you. This is great. This is what I've always wanted. To train a champion.'

On my way home, all I could think about was the possibility of taking part in the commonwealth Games and all that it would entail. It was strange to think that there was a time when I wasn't too bothered about swimming. Now because I had suck with it was paying off.

As soon as I got home I rushed upstairs to mum's room. She was sitting at her dressing table, as I knew she would be, rolling her hair In front of the mirror. The room smelt of mail polish and I could see that her nails had a coat of glossy, bright red polish on them. Her face was plastered with moisturizer. She was doing her might routine before she went to sleep. Things are really starting to get worse between my parents and my mum not waiting for my dad to return from work was another part if it.

Sitting on the edge of her bed u watched her for a minute or two, just drinking all there was about her that I love and admired. At thirty-four she was was looking good, even though she worked very hard and had lots of responsibilities. She didn't have a single line on her face. To me, she looked ten years younger than she really was.

She glanced over at me and said 'You look jumpy. What's wrong?' As casually as I could manage I said 'Oh nothing.' I looked down at my fingernails with my head to one side trying to be as laid back as possible.

'C'mon.' she probed. 'I know that something is bothering you. Is it school? Is it that Edward Boy?

Mum had meet Edward before and that was the first time he asked me to hang out with him and every time she asked about him she always referred to him as 'that Edward boy'. She always managed to drop him into the conversation every now and then to gauge my reaction. But I played it cool with her.

'Nope, it's not anyone.'

'Well something's not right. A mother can always tell.' I couldn't contain it any longer and burst out with my news.

'Jerry had a word with me, Mum, after training today.'

'Oh yeah, what did he say?'

Mum had finished with her hair be now, and she turned faced me, full of concern. Lowering my voice, I said, 'he told me that I had been picked to attend the commonwealth Games.' My voice began to rise. 'And, if I do really well, which he thinks and I hope I will, I'm going to be representing America!' mum shirked, I screamed and we both started dancing around the room like mad things. Mum's face creamed rubbed off on me, and some of her curlers dropped out, but we didn't care. This moment was for us, ad nothing was going to get in our way.

Well that is what I hoped for anyways. And I didn't know that as from tomorrow things were going to change…

**PLEASE REVIEW. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. I MIGHT NOT UPDATE IF I DON'T GET GOOD REVIEWS. SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ADVANGATGE OF THE FACT THAT I AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL NEXT WEEK AND MAKE ME UPDATE BY YOU GUYS REVIEWING.**

**AND IF YOU DO, DON'T FORGET TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT BELLA TO HAVE: BOY OR GIRLS.**

**THANKS YOU.**

**AYO NOT AMANDA. (I AM THE FRIENDLY AND KIND ONE AND THE ONE WITH THE BETTER DRESSING SENSE.)**


	5. the kiss

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, they really mean a lot to me (Amanda if you are reading this, you are not part of the people that I am thanking.) I am so happy that you guys find it in your time to review and put me on alert and add me to your favorite. They make me so happy, so a big thanks to everyone (who is not Amanda.)**

**And I wouldn't mind getting more reviews. LOL :)**

* * *

Six am. The morning was warm and bright, very unusual in Forks. Adrenaline pumped into my veins, as I thought about everything that happened yesterday and Edward coming to pick me up today at 8:00am. As I got in the shower, I started thinking about all the training would have to do for the Commonwealth Games. Well, not the games themselves, but the trails. This time next year, I could be on my way to Malaysia. It was mind-blowing. And nothing is going to get in my way!!

I hardly got any sleep last night. Different scenarios kept popping into my mind. Me in my swimming costume, on the the starting block, ready to dive in. Edward and I in the bath talking and Lauren's words kept ringing in my ears. I have a feeling the girl was serious about what she said. But I wasn't going to let it affect me.

7:30am, I raced downstairs and missed a step and landed flat on my face.

'Same old Bella'. My mum started to say. 'You are like a fish in the water but on land, you are like a blind cat.' She helped me to my feet.

I took one look at her and immediately got suspicious of her. She looked like she was dressed for a date or attending something important!! (I can't be bothered to describe what she is wearing, so check the profile)

'Mum, why are you so dressed up?'

She immediately looked uncomfortable. 'Bella, now is not the right time to talk about this, we will talk about it later.'

'Mum! No! We need to talk about this right now. I am feed up with you and dad always fighting with each other and if you are not fighting you are not talking to each other. I also noticed that dad has taken more hours at work. He is never at home and I am sick and tired of having to pretend to everyone, they we are a happy family, when we are not!!!' by the time I finished my rant, someone was pressing the door bell.

'Bella…' Renee started to say, but I cut her off.

'We WILL take about this, tonight, me, you and dad.'

I walked out the door, leaving Edward at my door, looking surprised.

'Are you just going to stand there all day, or are you going to come and unlock the door so I could get in the car.' I snapped at him and immediately felt bad, but I wasn't in the mood to apologize.

He unlocked the door and I got in.

'Bella are you ok. Did I do something?' He asked bewilderedly.

His bright green eyes, was covered in confusion and his brows jointed together. He looked so adorable and I bust out laughing.

'What is so funny? You know Bella, its times like this, that I asked my self this question: Are you bipolar?'

'Haha. Very funny. I had an argument with my mum and I didn't mean to take it out on you. Sorry.'

'It cool, when you have a sister like Alice and a brother like Emmett, you get used to it.' I couldn't help but smile.

'It must be great to have a big family.' I said mostly to my self.

'Yeah, it's great.' The crooked smiled that I loved so much started to appear on his lips. I couldn't help but think what it would be like to be kissed by him.

He stopped the car, and an awkward silent suddenly filled the car.

'Eh, Bella can I have a word with you?

'Sorry Edward, I've got to go.'

'What time do you finish?'

Before I could think, the words were out of my mouth. 'About one.' I could have bitten my tongue.

'I'll see you then.' Revving the car, and not looking at me, I knew he was ready to go. I got out.

My session with Jerry, which should have been fantastic, considering what was ahead of me, was lousy.

Edward. I kept thinking about him, and how he had seemed so serious just before he drove off. I wondered what he wanted to say to me? And how did I feel about him-was he just a friend or something more? It was hard to concentrate on my stroke and I found listening to Jerry's instruction difficult.

Afterwards, Jerry asked me if I was all right. 'You're not worried about about this are you, Bella?'

'No, not at all. It's just that I've got something on my mind, that all.' Jerry thought about this for a moment, and then said, 'Get it sorted, Bella.' I nodded.

True to his words, when I came down the steps of the bath, Edward was waiting across the road in his car. The window was down, and he looked over at me, not waving or calling my name. Just looking. He didn't even come to open the doors for me like he usually did. My knees turned to jelly, we didn't say hello to each other, or hi, or what's up? We didn't need to, there was enough electricity in the car to light up the whole of Forks!

'Where are you going?'

'Home.' I was tired and a few hours shut-eyes was what I needed. We drove to my house in silence. Edward was acting a bit too mysterious for my liking and I kept wondering what he wanted to talk about. As we drove I stole glances at him when I thought he wasn't looking.

He had a strong side profile and his lips were nice and juicy. I noticed a labello lip salve on his dashboard. I bet he primed his lips for the sole purpose of kissing. I wouldn't be surprise if that was what it was for, see, Edward is a bit of a player. He can have any girl he wanted and he was known to use girls then dump them. But I wasn't that surprised, I mean that is what you can expect from the most gorgeous, smartest and most popular guy in the whole school. And no, I am not been biased, it is true and I know this because he was elected.

When we got to my house, I could sense that he wanted me to ask him in, that was the last thing I wanted to do, so I just decided to get out of the car, but I noticed that it was locked. I had enough of this, so I decided to confront him.

'What's the problem?'

'You,' he said softly. My cheeks started to heat up and my heart skipped a beat.

'Me?' I squeaked, pointing to myself. 'I haven't done anything.'

His eyes locked with mine. My chest constricted. It was so hard to look away from them green orbs.

'Bella, I'll be truthful. I like you a lot, and I am not sure how you feel about me. But the thing is, you're treating me like some dibby-dibby boy. It like you are ashamed to be around me. You avoid me in school and at you party, even though you didn't say anything, I could tell that you didn't want me there. I know that you are ashamed of me and I would like to know why.'

My heart was pumping and goose bumps were popping all over my skin.

'No.'

'No what?' he said.

I was finding it hard to speak because of the big fat lump that had lodged itself in my throat.

'Do you like me?' he asked. I nodded.

'Then what's the problem?'

I shook my head. Sighing, he said 'Look, let's take things easy. I won't pressure you; you won't pressure me, but…'

'But what?' I finally managed to get out.

'I just want to know, where I stand with you. Are we just friends or are we dating.' Before I could answer him, the woman who lived a few doors down, who must be 70 if she's a day, choose that very moment to walk by with her scruffy dog. She was the neighborhood spy; she couldn't resist poking her nose into other people's business.

'Hello, young lady.' She bent down so that her head was on a level with Edward's and she began to speak to him through the half opened window. 'You must be thrilled to have a famous girlfriend. I bet you have to fight off all the other men. And she has to do the same because you are very good looking. If I was a couple of years younger…' she trailed off. And I bet you she must have had inappropriate thoughts in her head. Edward smiled, but you could tell he was just as freaked out as I was.

'C'mon Edward, lets go inside,' I interrupted. My lips screwed up into something like a smile, but she clearly didn't get the message.

As we walked towards my house, the woman followed while making the wrong suggestions to Edward.

'Don't let this one get away from you, handsome fellow. When she hits the bright lights, you'll be yesterday's news.' I feigned a laugh and opened the door, pushing Edward in before he could reply.

'So when's the wedding?' Edward asked as we went onto the kitchen.

'Do you want a sandwich or what?' I replied frostily. I was put out that I'd had to invite him in and my mind was full of what ifs. What if mum was to get back from wherever she went? What if dad suddenly came back?

What if the nosy neighbor tells mum?

'I don't mind anything.'

'Can't you make a simple decision? What do you want to eat?' I snapped for the second time today. He was so smooth, so assured, and it was getting right up my nose.

'Why are you getting so uptight?' I just glared at him.

'Only it seems to me that you have mood swings for no apparent reason, unless…' he looked at me dreamily:

What happened next was like something out of a stupid romance book that would normally have made me want to vomit on the spot. Edward kissed me gently on the lips. I could have pushed him off, slapped his face or given him a hefty kick in the shins, but I didn't. I kissed him back, long and hard. After Edward left, with promises that we would meet up and talk about things properly, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. There had been an uncomfortable silence when we finished kissing. Any other girl would have been happy, to have been kissed by Edward Cullen, but I was just confused.

My numb mind was in a continuous rewind. I kept going over and over the last few hours. Why was I playing this game of push and pull with Edward? Why was Edward still hanging around me, when he could have went to other girls? Snapping at him one minute and kissing him the next? Underneath the hard exterior, was I really soft on him? Until now I had convinced myself that Edward was just a friend-strictly because that was how I thought he felt. But I realize I'd been suppressing my true feelings for him. And when he kissed me… well, I'd never felt anything like it before. I kept replaying the kiss in my mind and hot pinpricks of embarrassment ran down my skin.

I remembered that, for some reason, I was drawn to Edward's hair. He had messy bronze hair. I kept touching it as we hugged and kissed.

Edward been his cocky self had said, 'I knew you liked me. You were trying to come across as the original maiden, but I knew that there was something good between us. It felt right.' Somehow, what he said made sense. But, I thought to myself, if this is what just one kiss can do; turn my mind and world upside down, then…

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**This has to be the longest chapter, I have done so far. So as a reward, I think I deserve reviews, don't you think?**

**R&R**

**Ayo not Amanda (remember I am the nice, kind and friendly one. And also the one with the better dressing sense.)**


	6. The chat

**Swimming in the deep end**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to: Sagaalover, Barbie2 (a really special thanks to you.), 14, Romanceaholic, Wickdwrtr, Gaia, Amylily123, Melly Black, Bayswim95, Flosey JS, Lilly, Amanda:), Laxer77, Miss F Cullen, Shytiana and Wowgal. Without you guys, this story would be nothing and I would have given up writing a while ago. But you guys gave me a reason to continue and I would forever appreciate it. Thank you all.**

The biggest cloud over this turn of event was, how I was going to tell mum. All these new thoughts and sensations were strange and wonderful, but confusing, and I would really have liked to sit down with her and talk it over. But some how, I didn't think that she was going to be to be pleased. Not with everything else going on. But in times like this, I am really glad I have a friend like Alice. She always knew the right thing to say, but I am not too sure, she would be too happy that I am taking a liking on her brother. But I am really, really desperate for some advice, so I think that I am just going to grab the bull by the horn and call.

RING! RING! RING! RI-

'Hello?' wait I know that voice and I must say it, wasn't the voice that I was expecting.

'Hi Rosalie'

'Oh it's you, what do you want?'

'Can I speak to Alice please?' she was just wasting my time, I mean it was obvious that I wouldn't call because I want to speak to her and the only reason I call on the Cullen's landline is to speak to Alice. So she could have just save me all that interrogation and just given the phone to Alice.

'What do you want to speak to her about?' ok, she is really starting to get on my nerves.

'That is really between me and Alice, don't you think?' nosy ass!!

'Look Alice is my friend, my best friend to be more precise, and I don't get why she likes you so much. To me you are just an insignificant little ass. And if you ever, and I repeat ever, do any thing to hurt her, you will regret the day you decided to test me!!' I knew what she was trying to do. And that was exactly the same thing Lauren tried to do: put me under pressure and see if I would crack. I mean, what is up with everyone threatening me?

'Wow Rose, why the sudden hostility?' I decided to annoy her and the best way to do that is to show her that I am not in the least bit intimidated by her brutality. 'Look, Barbie, I know that you don't like me and I am glad to tell you that the feeling is mutual. Alice may be your friend, but she is also mine, so why don't you get over your insecurity and jealousy of losing your one and only friend, who happens to be the only one, who can deal with you crap! Look I am sorry, but I don't have time to deal with your attitude so why don't you just hand the phone over to Alice, while you get over the shock that someone told you the truth that you have been trying to avoid for so long.

'A-Alice,' Rosalie called without arguing with me.

'Hello? Hi Bella, what the hell did you say to Rose, she looked like she just seen a ghost.' God, I have never been so happy to hear her voice. As soon as she finished talking, I busted out crying. It sounded stupid, I know, but I was totally strung out by everything that had happened over the last few weeks.

'What's wrong Bella? Something happening between your parents?' Alice is the only person, I know that I can confine on about mum and dad.

I shook my head, but I remembered that she couldn't see me, so I mumbled out a no so low I wasn't even sure she heard me.

'What is it, tell me.'

Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to control my thoughts. Right.

'Edward was here.'

'My brother Edward?'

'No! Your boyfriend Edward!' I snapped at her. 'Look I'm sorry, yes I meant your brother.'

'What did he want?'

'We kissed.'

'And?'

'I told him, I will go out with him.'

Taking a deep breath in, she started talking. 'I stopped my make out session with Jasper and rush over to the phone, and you burst out crying, the minute I said 'hello' because my brother kissed you!'

'Yes.' I mumbled.

'Wait, you haven't done… you know… it?' she was trying to be tactful.

Indignantly I said, 'of course not. What kind of girl do you take me for?'

'So Bella, what the hell is the problem?' she retorted.

'That's it- I don't know.'

Alice burst out laughing and said, 'wait let me come over and let's talk about this properly.'

'No Alice, you can't come, I need to have a chat with both my parents, so why don't we just talk right now.'

'Sure, ohhh! We have to go shopping for graduation and the party!' she squealed excitedly.

'What party and Alice the graduation is 5 months away. I don't want to go shopping.' I mumbled

'No, you are. Now, back to the Edward crisis.'

'Do you think that this is love?'

'How should I know? But I sounds like something.'

'But why was I so awful to him?'

'Babes, look from what you've said to me, I think that deep down you did fancy him, and you were trying to pretend you didn't. Sounds normal to me.'

'What about my mum, what is she going to say?'

'Look, you need to stop worrying about your mum. It was her mistake years ago not yours. She got pregnant not you. She is trying to shape your life for you and you need to take control. If you want to see Edward it is your decision not your mum. What is the worst she can do, get your dad to put a restraining order on him?

She needs to loosen up and so do you. Bella you like Edward, but because of what happened to your mum you don't want to give him a chance. You need to stop and start living your life. God can we stop talking about you and my brother's love life because any second from now, I might throw up.'

SMASH!!!

'It wasn't me!' I heard Emmett call from the background.

'Alice, what did he break this time?'

'He broke mum's favorite vase. Emmett, try to fix it or if you can't put it in the bin… WAIT, don't try to fix it, you are just going to make it worst so just pack it up and put it in the bin!' Ordered Alice.

'Alice, are you mad? Do you seriously trust Emmett to handle broken glasses! He could hurt himself with it or even worst hurt someone else.'

'Shoot! Bella you are right! I have to go! Love you. Bye.' She rushed her word.

Well I had nothing else to go, so I decided to cook lasagna, and it would also take my mind off things.

I put the lasagna in the oven and waited for it to finish cooking. While I waited, my mind was spinning around with question concerning my parents. Was my mum cheating? Why is my dad taking more hours at work? These were the questions I am going to ask both of them when they get home.

My dad was the first to get home. He came in while I was taking out the lasagna.

'Hi bells, that smells good. What is it?' that was the thing I loved about my dad, he always tried to make a conversation no matter how awkward it was.

'Lasagna. Dad I need to talk to you and mum. Is that cool?'

'Yeah.'

_20 minute later_

'Hi Bella. I am home. That smells good Bella, is it Lasagna? She asked as she made her way to the kitchen, where dad and I were.

'Yeah.' I answered quietly

I served them their food and they both sat down and started eating without even saying hi to each other. They both were avoiding eye contact. We all ate in complete silence and it was really, really awkward. After they ate I cleaned the dished and told both of them to go in to the living room.

'Mum, dad, what the hell is going on between you two? You two have been together for 20 years and you have been through thick and tough with each other, so why are you growing apart now. When I need you too the most.'

'Bella…' my dad started, 'look bells, it just not working out between me and your mom. And I feel that it is better to avoid all the fight we are having if I just work more hours.'

'Sounds to me that you are just been a coward, running away for the problem instead of facing it. If you guys had me very young and were stuck with a baby at the age of 19 then you should be able to toughen it out and face this music.'

'Mum, where were you today? Don't think that for a second I would have forgotten!'

'I –I was on a date.' I couldn't believe this 'with Phil Dwyer, you the famous baseball player. He is staying in Forks for a while and he is going back soon and he wants me to go back to Florida with him and I said… I said yes.' By the end of her speech I started crying. She cheated on dad and was just going to leave us all behind

and go live with some famous baseball dude.

'How could you mum? You were going to leave us. Me and dad. You were going to go at the time that I need you the most. I am chosen to represent America and it don't mean jack to you. You know out of everyone, I thought you were the only one that I could really relate to about swimming, but you're not.' As I talk, tears racked through my body.

'How long have you been seeing each other, Renee?' Charlie asked.

'3 months now.'

I couldn't take it any more so I started walking out of the room. I ignored my mum shouting my name. As from today, she is dead to me. If she does go, then she not my mother.

'Bella, wait! I want you to come with me and Phil. He wants you to come!' I stopped dead on my track.

'WHAT??'

___________________

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**IS BELLA GOING TO GO WITH HER MUM OR IS SHE GOING TO STAY IN FORKS WITH HER DAD. REVIEW … AND YOU FIND OUT.**

**AYO NOT AMANDA (REMEMBER I AM THE NICE FRIENDLY AND KIND ONE. ALSO THE ONE WITH THE BETTER DRESSING SENSE.)**

**SORRY, PEOPLE IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THIS CHAPTER, THERE WERE SOME MISTAKES THAT I NOTICED AND I REALLY NEED TO CHANGE. YOU CAN CALL ME A PERFECTIONIST, BUT I JUST REALLY NEED TO CHANGE IT. I KNOW THAT THERE ARE STILL SOME MISTAKES LEFT BUT I CAN'T FIND THEM.**


	7. bye Renee

**SWIMMING IN THE DEEP END**

**I would like to give a really, really special thanks to Romanceaholic, I really like all your review, so thanks you for finding it in your time to write them. And I would also like to thank Courtney Cullen14, I put you in the last chapter but for some reason, your name didn't show up, so I am thanking you now for also making time to review the story.**

**A REALLY SPEACIAL THANKS TO YOU GUYS.**

**SO ON WITH THE STORY…**

_**Previously…**_

'_Bella, wait! I want you to come with me and Phil. He wants you to come!' I stopped dead on my track._

'_WHAT??' _

'WHAT??' I repeated to her

'Bella, baby, I really want you to come. I need you. We will be happy together. I really didn't know how to tell you before, because I thought I was making a big mistake and I also didn't know how you will react but I now know that I am making the right choice for all of us. We will be happy, you me and Phil.' I couldn't believe this. I am really having enough drama in my life, I didn't need her to add any more.

'Who are you trying to convince? Did you even think this through properly? Did you just think that just because you're going out with a baseball player and he asked you to move with him, that I will want to come as well? What kind of fairy tale world are you living in? Can't you see everything that you are going to take away from me if I do come: my dad, my friends and a once in a life time opportunity do you really want to take all that? Do you!?' and Edward, but I didn't see the point in bringing him into the drama. God, he seemed to be the only good thing happening to me.

'Mum, you were just going to pack your stuff and mine and treat me like a baby, expecting me to tag along like some lost puppy. I may not be 18, but I am old enough to make my own decision myself. But obviously you aren't.'

'Bella, you will make new friends'- she started saying.

'But they aren't going to be my old friends will they? Or is Phil also going to be my new dad as well? You may see a big picture ahead of you, that we are all going to be one big happy family, but I don't see that!!!' (YOU MAY NOTICE THAT CHARLIE ISNT SAYING MUCH, BUT THIS CONVERSATION IS REALLY BETWEEN RENEE AND BELLA, BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM. CHARLIE WILL TALK BUT RIGHT NOW ONLY THEM 2 ARE TALKING, SO…YEAH! ;) )

'Bella you will be able to see your friends in the holidays and trust me, you are going to love it there. I picked out your bedroom, its blue and you have your own bathroom and it has a balcony with an amazing view. Believe me you are going to love it there.'

'Mum I am not coming. Get that into your head! I have a swimming trails coming up and I won't be able to do it all the way from Florida. And you won't be looking after me, I'll be the one looking after you like I always have been doing. And I am not going to do it anymore especially not in Florida.

So why don't you get out of my sight. I feel sick, just looking at you!' crocodile tears, glistened in her eyes, as my words finally sank in.

'Bella…' her voice broke.

'Just go mum. Do us all a favor. I don't need you and when you leave, I don't want to have any thing to do with you. You are not my mother or my coach. I am erasing you from my life.' I know what I said was harsh but what she's doing to me and Charlie is hasher. But you know what they say: you can't eat your cake and have it. And that is exactly what Renee is trying to do. I am staying in Forks, with my dad, friends, swimming and Edward.

'Fine, I'll go. But in case anything happens, you have my number. What ever you do, do not erase it. Trust me you WILL need it. You can call it a mother's instincts.'

She said with a sad smile. Something about her expression, made me feel like she really did know something is going to happen. So all I could do was nod.

'Renee, I need to talk to you.' Charlie stated with no emotions what so ever in his voice.

As they made their way to the living room, I walked up the t stairs since, I knew what was going to happen between them, but stopped because something else was on my mind.

'Renee' I called out, with my back facing her. 'you just walked out of the best things in your life and everyday when you close your eyes, even just for a second it's going to come back and haunt you. It is going to become your very own personal nightmare. Oh… and isn't Phil a bit to young for you?' and with that I walked away. I didn't need to turn around to see her face because I know what it was going to look like anyways: shocked.

I got in my bed and took out my blue I-pod to block out the argument going on downstairs. I didn't get any sleep that night, so when Renee left the house and was about to get into an expensive looking Lamborghini, she looked at my window and saw my face. And for about a second, we locked eye contact, but I broke it and closed my window.

'Bye mum,' I whispered as I sunk to the floor and tears took over my body.

**SORRY THE CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THE TENSION BETWEEN BELLA AND RENEE'S NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE COMING SOON, SO PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER. AND ALSO FOR THOSE WHO THINKS THIS STORY IS ABOUT BELLA AND EDWARD HAVING A KID TOGERTHER, BUYING A HOUSE TOGETHER, ROSALIE BECOMING FRIENDLY TO BELLA BECAUSE OF HER KID, THIS STORY IS NOT LIKE THAT. WHEN I SAY DRAMA, I MEAN REAL TOUGH DRAMA. **

**CAN WE GET UP TO 40 REVIEWS IN THIS CHAPTER, BUT I DON'T MEAN I WANT 40 REVIEWS I JUST WANT TO GET TO THE NUMBER 40. AND CAN YOU DO THE POLL FOR WHAT CHILD YOU WANT BELLA TO HAVE. GIRLS ARE WINNING SO IF YOU WANT HER TO HAVE A BOY, VOTE. THANKS.**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW. :)**

**AYO NOT AMANDA**


	8. Surprises

**Swimming in the deep end**

I woke up in my bed, even though I don't remember how I got there, (Charlie carried her) and was immediately greeted by a horrible headache. I got up and made my way to the bathroom, I checked my image in the mirror and was surprised to say the girl staring at me didn't even look like me: she have puffy red eyes, dried tears on her face , bags under her eyes, red nose and her hair looked like hay stacks.

'_**Bella you have to make yourself look presentable.'**_a voice in my head screamed.

'Why should I even bother?' I thought back.

'_**Because Edward is going to be in school!'**_ the voice shouted back.

I knew I was going mad, I mean who is sane enough to have an argument with themselves and still lose?

I got in the shower and the turned the cold water on, just what I needed for my headache. I spent about 10mins in there before deciding to get out. _**(I don't want to bother with what she wears, just imagine what Bella wears.)**_

I went down the stairs and saw Charlie was already there.

'Hi' I mumbled

'Hey Bella,' the tension in the room was huge. 'Are you going swimming after school?' he asked.

'No why?' I really didn't want to go, even though I knew this training is going to be really important but I just need some time to think. And swimming reminded me too much of Renee.

'There are things that I want to talk to you about. Things about your mum.' As soon as he said that, I completely stiffened and I felt a big hole in my heart.

'What do you want to talk about her for? I don't need her, we don't need her and she made it perfectly clear that she don't need us either. So why should we bother talking about her. If she loved us, she wouldn't have gotten in a car with a man she only meet 3months ago,' I rushed my words, anything to stop having this horrid conversation.

'Bella, I know this may sound … weird because it may seem to have nothing to do with what we are talking about but do you really like swimming?'

Why is he going to ask that, I've been swimming ever since I was little? Even though I didn't see swimming as a hobby before, I quickly learned to get use to it and now I really love it. If I didn't love it then I wouldn't have been chosen to present my country for swimming in the Olympic, would I? I love swimming.

'I love swimming! Why do you ask?' my voice guarded.

'No reason.' He said coolly but I still wasn't convinced.

'Dad, let me ask you a question. Are you really ok with your wife running away with a famous baseball player?'

'Bella, even if I am not, there's nothing that I can do. If you love someone you have to set them free. I can't hold her a prisoner; it's her life, her decision.' Not what I was expecting him to say. Charlie is totally been selfless and Renee just wants to be happy and doesn't look behind her to see the trouble and pain that she is inflicting on me and Charlie.

I nodded my head firmly, I just need to clear my head and a bit of time by myself in my truck will do me good.

'Bye.' I mumbled, I didn't wait for a response nor did I think I was going to get one.

Tears sprung down my face, while thinking how much pain Charlie must be going through. I ran out the front door. The cold weather of Forks hit me like a ton of heavy bricks. This is the true weather of Forks that I have been expecting. It seemed like them days when I had been feeling happy, the weather was also happy and now everything is gone cold including my heart. Ironic isn't it?

I couldn't wait to get the heat going in my truck. It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. In fact, it was so foggy that I was a few feet down the drive way before I realized there was a car in it: a silver car. My heart thudded, stuttered and then picked up again double time. (Hehe, I got that from twilight)

I didn't see where he came from but suddenly he was there pulling the door open for me.

'May I do the pleasure of driving you to school today?' he asked in a quite musical voice.

I could feel a blush starting to appear and I open my mouth to say something, any thing but no sound cane out. I just opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish. I couldn't believe anyone could have this kind of effect on me.

'Do you wan to?' he asked again, uncertainty coloring his voice.

'Um… yes?' it sounded more like a question. God I was so pathetic.

Smiling, he opened the door for me like a true gentleman. I got in and before I even finished putting on my seat belt, he was already in.

I stared at him in amazement.

'How did you get in the car so quickly? Are you a vampire or something?' I joked, all my worry of Renee immediately faded away and so did my headache.

'Bella are you ok?' he asked as the car purred to life.

'I'm fine!' my voice came harsher than was intended for some reason.

Sighing, I slumped in my seat and didn't say a thing to Edward for the whole car ride. The thing I loved about Edward is he knew just when to shut up no matter how curious he was. He never pushed to get an answer.

He parked his car in his usual spot; next to the 'popular' people. I got out the car and was about to make my way to my first lesson, when I heard Edward call my name.

'Bella, sit with me at break. Please.' He said unlatching the force of his green eyes on me.

'No Edward. I would rather do Math for the whole year than sit with a bunch of air heads who consider them self's kings and queens of the school.'

'No I mean sit with me. Just me. So we can talk about us. What level we are with each other.'

Before I could response, Lauren, Jessica and the other air heads made their way to Edward's car. Since I didn't want anything to do with them I turn around and made my way to me first lesson, English. But as I turned around I noticed something quite unsettling; the look in Lauren's eyes, likes she had something planned for me, something evil. A smirk started to appear on her face when she saw me stare at her before going. I couldn't shake off the weird feeling that something is going to happen, maybe not today but someday and the sad and scary thing was I didn't know when or what it was. But I knew it has something to do with Lauren.

_**Unknown P.O.V~**_

Stupid bitch!!

What the hell is she doing with MY Edward? I tried to warn her but she didn't listen and now she will pay. And you know what they say, Payback's a bitch.

She's playing with fire and she going to get burn. I have the perfect plan and everything is already in action. It's bye-bye to Bella Swan.

_**BP.O.V~**_

English was really boring since I couldn't concentrate on what the teacher was saying and after that I had Trig which was also boring. I had a lot on my mind concerning Renee and Edward.

After Trig, I went geography (I don't even know if she does geography but whatever...) and my mind was still wondering around. Was Renee happy without us? Is Edward my boyfriend? Everything is confusing and I hate feeling like that. It makes me feel helpless and I feel like I am in the dark and everyone around me expects me to know what to do but I just can't figure it out. It is too frustration and I just don't know what to do!!

At break, I want to the line and got a chicken wrap and orange juice. I looked around the cafeteria for a space to sit. Finally my eyes landed on Edward sitting by himself and motioning for me to sit with him.

I walked slowly and I could feel almost everybody eyes on my back.

'Hey' Edward said when I finally reached his table.

'Hi' I mumbled

'So… would you like to sit with me today?' he asked me in that velvety voice that I couldn't resist.

'Sure.'

I looked around the room and sure enough people from the popular table were looking at me and Edward. Well most of them were looking, while other people like Jessica and Lauren were glaring at me and ogling Edward at the same time.

'I don't think your friends are happy about the fact that you are talking to Bella Swan, the swimmer kid.' I stated

'Oh well, they will get over.' He said calmly.

'Edward, I think that we need to talk like you said before.' I said cutting to the chase.

'Ok,' he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Wait Edward Cullen, THE Edward Cullen looking nervous, WOW, I never thought I'd see the day. 'I really like you Bella, I like you a lot. And I know that I went the wrong way of showing you that by kissing you first instead of having the proper talk. And I really hope that my stupid action doesn't make you hate me.'

'Edward, I could never hate you and we did have the proper talk but when you kissed me I didn't stop you, I wanted you to kiss me, and I been wanting that ever since the day I met you. If I didn't like you, then I would have slapped you or kicked you where the sun don't shine, when you kissed me but I didn't.' I admitted.

'Well, that changes thing. Let me do this the right way.' And with that he got up from his sit and kneeled in front of me like he was going to propose.

'Edward, what are you doing!? People are looking and so are teachers!' I whispered-yelled when the whole cafeteria went completely silent, even the lunch ladies stopped what they were doing.

'Isabella Swan will you do me the honor of been my girlfriend?'

Uh oh, I didn't know what to say. I mean I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I couldn't find my tongue, it felt heavy and dry, so I did the only other thing I could think of…I slowly nodded my head and heard Edward breath out a sign of happiness, maybe?

'Come on, Bella. Let's go somewhere a bit more private.' As we walked out the cafeteria, I saw Alice's face lit up and she gave me a thumps up and while other people like Jessica and Lauren were shooting daggers at me. I didn't know how to response to all this feelings, so I did the only thing that felt natural for me: blush like crazy. We went to the back of the school, a place where no one ever goes to.

'So, how are things at home Bella?' he asked nervously, like there was something he was trying to avoid, a subject that maybe I didn't want to talk about.

'Thing are fine, I guess. Did Alice tell you what is going on?' I bet he knew exactly what I was talking about.

He nodded his head sheepishly.

'Look Bella, I am not stupid and I am pretty sure that people can see that maybe Charlie and Renee were not going to least, but it was not my place to tell you that. And I don't want you to feel like you can't trust Alice because I kind of made her tell me. I also heard you and Renee arguing the day I was going to take you to the GYM. And I already saw your mum with Phil Dwyer'- wait did he just say that he saw Renee and Phil together and didn't tell me?

'Wait so you know that they were together and you decided to keep it a secret from me? How long have you known?' I tried to keep the hurt from showing in my voice but failed terribly.

'Bella…it wasn't my place to say anything. Even if I did you still wouldn't have believe me, would you? You tried so hard trying to pretend to everyone that there was nothing wrong going on, that you missed all the important signs along the way. Every one noticed, even Charlie must have noticed, but I am still sorry that I didn't tell you. I just didn't want to make you sad. It would have hurt so badly knowing that I said something that is making you so sad.'

'Well, Renee is going soon. And I made it clear that I didn't want anything to do with her.'

'Bella, I think that you should speak to her. She's your mother not one of your friends. You are treating the situation as if she was one of your friends that you caught kissing your boyfriend, but she's not. You can't just dump her like that. She's your mum, remember, she gave up everything to make you happy and has been doing so for the past 17 years and she does deserve a little bit of happiness. And I am sure all she wants is to know that you are ok with her options and that you are going to be there for her every step of the way.

How do you think that she is feeling right now? She wants everyone to be happy. Bella, she wasn't like other selfish mothers, who have the baby and then lump it with the fathers and try to make her career, she tried for you.' Wow, Edward really can be deep.

'Edward, I just can't. I made it really clear that I don't want her. She didn't only hurt me but my dad as well.'

'Bella are you afraid that she is going to tell you that she is much happier without you? Is this what it is all about? Bella you mum loves you. Imagine this, when you are older and you kids only have one set of grand parents, what will you say when they ask about your mum. '**Sorry kids, but I don't like my mum because she wanted to do something that made her happy, but I didn't like it so I decided that I didn't want her in my life.' **Imagine if you do have kids and that ends up happing to you? Your kid don't want anything to do with you, its going to hurt isn't it? Just give your mum a chance to explain the story from her point of view.' And he finished just as the bell rang signaling that lunch was over.

He began walking and when he got to my class room door, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered in my ear: 'Think about it and do the right thing.'

Did I really want to speak to Renee after everything that has happened? I still wanted my mum in my life, didn't I? Can I really put my pride and anger aside and have a decent conversation with her before it turning into one big fight?

This is the longest chapter I have ever done and I hope that you guy like it. Sorry I haven't update in a while, but I was buried in heaps of homework and whenever I thought that we weren't going to get anymore we end up having more. But I will update faster because I hate it when people take their time to update. So review pls.

OHHHH!!! And I know that it's seems kind of obvious but try it guess who you think the unknown point of view is. Is it Jessica, or Lauren or maybe even Rosalie, who might have a crush on Edward that we don't know about? Tell me in the reviews.

OH, also don't forget to do the** poll**. Thank you

Thanks, Ayo not Amanda.

**REVIEWS!!!!! THEY MAKE ME HAPPY!!!!**


	9. Conversations

Swimming in the deep end

**Hi people so this is the update and I have something very important to say… WE HAVE 5****1 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Thank you guys so much and I know that some people will be think 'What 50? Big deal!'**** but it is to me so thank you for reading. And I will update on Monday because we have no school so YEAH!!! **

**I will also like to thank ****xXxIggyxXx**** for been my 51 reviewer.**

_**FLASHBACK**_

'_Mu__mmy, I don't want to go swimming. I don't like the water in my eyes.' I pleaded to Renee. I never really like swimming, but my mum thought that it would really improve my breathing since I developed asthma._

'_Bella, honey you are going to love swimming. Going under the water and I know how much you've always want to go swimming with the dolphins, if you learn how to swim maybe one day I will take you swimming with the dolphins.' _

_Swimming with dolphins has always been another interest of mine, but since I can't swim I won't be able to swim with the dolphins._

'_You promise mummy?'_

'_How about we pinkie swear on it?'_

'_Deal'!!!_

_As we got into the pool, I could already hear my heart beating at a very unnatural rate. Panic washed over me as I thought of all the bad things any 7 years old would be thinking of if they were swimming for the first time._

_What if I get water in me eyes and I go blind?_

_What if I drown? _

_What if I don't know how to kick?_

_What if I get water on mummy?_

_What if I don't like swimming?_

_What if the teacher doesn't like me?_

_Mummy must have noticed my fidgeting because she slowly turned my body towards hers._

'_Bella baby what is__?' she asked in a soothing voice._

'_I-I'm scared mummy?' I whispered as I hug her and held onto her like me life depended on it._

'_Baby you have nothing to be afraid of. I am always going to be there for you. All you have to do is just call my name and mummy will be there faster than superman and cat-woman put together.' She rubbed her nose with my mine causing me to laugh._

'_You promise that you're always going to be there?'_

'_Sweetheart, I'm always going to be there even when I am not there with you.'_

'_What does that mean mummy?'_

'_You will understand when you need to understand, but right now…YOUR NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SWIMM BELLA!!!' she shouted causing everyone else in the pool to stare at her._

_**END **_

'Isabella!!!' a voice was shouting at me but I was just too lost in my day dream to answer back.

'Isabella!!!'

'Isabella!!!'

'Isabella, can you even hear me or do you just find me so boring that you are finding your self day dreaming in my lesson!?' Mr Mason my History teacher exclaimed.

'Sorry Sir.' I apologized while blushing a colour red so dark, it should be made illegal.

'Well are you going to give me the answer to question 3 or not?' why the hell did the teacher find it his main priority to make my life hell today? I already said sorry didn't I?

'No Sir!' I answer not making eye-contact. I could hear everyone else in the class laughing and thinking what the hell is a guy like Edward Cullen doing with her, the class fool? I couldn't blame them, It was really easy to see why they thought that, I just didn't belong next to Edward, it's like beauty and the beast but in my story I am the beast.

The rest of the lessons finished in a blur and I found it extremely hard to focus on anything but Renee. Question span around in my read. Was I too harsh? Doesn't she deserve happiness? Was I just been selfish? Should I call my mum?

I didn't think I knew the answers to any of them questions but to any one else on the outside just looking in, the questions would have seemed so easy for them to answer. Do know that feeling that comes anytime anything bad is happening on a show or a movie and the answer just seems to be in front of them but they don't see it and you just feel like shouting at them that the answer is there in front of them but they can't hear you. Any person who understands my situation will understand that I am not blowing this out of proportion I really need answers to my questions but I feel like I am now one of the T.V characters who can't seem to find the answers because they feel like that are stuck in a dead end and the whole world is just sucking them into this big black hole.

But if I did know any thing is that I still wanted to continued the mother and daughter relationship that I had with my mother.

When school finally ended I walked to my truck and noticed Edward looking absolutely sexy leaning casually against my truck. As I walked closer to him I could help the goofy smile that spread across my face; an instant reaction to seeing him. He opened his big muscular arms and pulled me into a tight embrace.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and noticed him sniffing my hair and curiosity took the better of me.

'Edward… what the heck are you doing?'

'God I missed you so much' I laughed but deep, deep down I was bursting with excitement. He didn't realise that, that simple sentence made me weak in the knees and I wasn't sure whether it was because of his smooth velvety voice or because of what he just said.

'Edward, you sound so ridiculous. I just saw you like 2 hours ago.'

'Exactly. Bella, that's what you do to me. You like my own personal brand of heroin. Bella I can't stay away from you and it so scary because I can't describe the feeling I get when I am next to you. I feel like I am complete and I just can't be without you. Bella you are different from all the other girls I've been with. You're special and I want you all to myself. I…don't have the strength to stay away from you.' He whispered in a tortured voice

'Then don't.' he didn't have to. We are together, it didn't matter what people like Jessica and Lauren thought or what the whole school thought, my feelings for Edward Cullen is growing and he is mine.

We stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like eternity. I just felt complete looking in his eyes, his bright mesmerizing green orbs. His eyes were just so clear and full of life. And staring into them made me feel like I was staring into his soul. His perfect and pure soul. Edward Cullen is mine!!

We both surely didn't want this to end but sooner or later something was bound to ruin the moment. But it came too soon for my liking.

'Um… Guys I've standing here for like what 5mins trying to get your attention and I'm not that small for you not to see me.' Alice practically yelled.

I looked around the parking lot and realised that everyone else were gone. Were we really zoned out for that long?

Dragging my hand, Alice pulled me across the parking lot, but noticed that Edward had a strong grip on my other arm as well. So basically I was been yanked left to right by two bickering twins.

'Edward let go of her arm. I need to talk to her, you know about girl stuff.'

'I couldn't care any less. Bella is mine for today.'

'No she's not!! You guys can go sucking each other's faces off when I'm not there but right now I need to talk to Bella.' As she said that, she yanked my arm so I was on her side. She had lots of strength for a girl her size.

'No, Bella is coming with me aren't you?' and when he said that he pulled my other arm (very gently) so I was now on his side.

'Bella!! TELL HER!!' 'Bella!!! TELL HIM!!!' They both shouted at the same time.

'OK!! First you need to let go of my arms.' All the tension was giving me a headache and if I didn't ask for my arms back I am pretty sure they both would have ripped it out of the sockets.

'Alice, I'm really sorry but I want to stay with Edward, you know.' I told her not looking at her face because I didn't want to see hurt written all over her beautiful face and knowing that I put it there would hurt me. I really needed to spend time with Edward because we just got together and it would do us both good if we got to know each other more.

5 seconds…

10 seconds…

15 seconds… the suspense was killing me and Alice still hasn't said anything like I was expecting her too.

20 seconds…

'Alice, are you even going to say anything?' I asked getting annoyed but once I saw the look on her face I knew I was doomed!!! The big smirk on her face was extremely noticeable. What the hell is she smirking about?!

'It's ok Bella,' she said and with each word she advanced forward coming towards me almost looking like a predator knowing it had cornered it prey. She kept coming forward and stopped when she got by my side and slowly leaned in so her face was near my ear. 'You can spend the day with Edward, but is it really worth coming on another shopping spree with me? And you know, once I get inside the mall, there's no stopping me!! It's from one shop, to another, to another, to another. Do you get the picture or will you like me to elaborate it a little more!?' her voice had a tint of teasing but seriousness looped together. It was soft but at the same time deadly.

Gulping I answer 'Fine Alice you win!!!' She squealed jumping up and down.

'Yeah!!! I knew you would pick me and it shows that I am the better twin. Smart!!' she said tapping her temple.

'Don't forget to mention conniving.' Edward muttered from my side.

'What ever Edward you're just jealous.' WOOWW!! What a come back Alice, what are you 5? You can do better then that.

'Bye Edward'- I couldn't finish my sentence because Alice cut me off.

'Yeah, yeah! Edward is going to call you. I said the same thing to Jasper when we first started going out. Now come on.'

We walked to the school's library and took a sit.

'Hi Bella, so how are things?' her voice was now softer and the look in her eyes made me feel like she could see through the tough exterior I had on.

'Fine.'

'So… what happen?' I know she wasn't prying for information but I didn't feel like telling any one else. 'Bella, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but I just want to make sure that you are ok, I meant you been my friend 'n' all.'

'We talked and she meet a guy, well Phil Dwyer to be precise and they have been going out for 3months and she going to go Florida with him… and she want me to come with her.' By the time I finished I could feel the tears threatening to spill out.

'Y-your not going to… move are you?' she said and it sounded like she was going to cry as well.

'What, no!! Please you can't get rid of me that easily.' I joked trying to lighten the mood.

'Good because I would really hate it if you do go. So what are you going to do now, with your mum?'

'I told her I don't want to have anything to do with her, but I really think I made the wrong choice but I just can't bring my self to go apologize.'

'Bella, she's your mum. Do the right thing and please make her happy don't you think that she deserves even a tiny bit of happiness?'

'Wow that's exactly what Edward told me.'

'So are you going to talk to her?'

Do I want to talk to her? Can I really swallow my pride? When will I go see her?

'I don't know Alice, I really don't know.'

'Bella, you do know, you just want to act like you don't, but you really do.'

'Bella, there something else I want to talk to you about and it's about Edward.'

'What about him?'

'Edward really likes you and I don't think I have ever seen him so happy because of any girl, so just please don't hurt him because if you do you'll have me to answer to.' Why would she even think that I am going to hurt Edward? Didn't she trust me?

'Alice, I don't know what to say, except that maybe you don't really trust me, why would you even think that I would hurt him?

'Bella, I do trust you but I've seen my brother hurt on so many times before and he really seem to be falling for you fast so I just don't want either one of you to get hurt.' She really did care for her brother, but she really had to understand that I would never do anything to hurt him; I cared too much about him.

'I understand but I really have to go. You know talk to my mum.' I made up my mind and I was going to talk to her now, no time like the present.

A huge smile broke across her face and she run up to me and gave me a huge hug.

'I knew you were going to do the right thing and go make your mum happy.'

I walked out the library and got into my truck and pulled out my phone and dialled her number. She picked up on the second ring.

'Gosh, mum, were you sitting by the phone or something?' I joked

When she didn't answer I knew that I got the answer to my question.

'Bella, I am so sorry. I didn't really think, I thought that you would want to come.' She said crying.

'Mum can I come over to your place?'

'YES!! YES, you can… umm wait…umm let me YES!!! I will send the address to your phone, ok?' she answered frantically.

A minute later I got the address and noticed that it was all the way in Port Angeles.

15 minutes later~

I pulled up at a really grand mansion and was not in anyway surprised at the sight in from of me. But I did feel out of place with my old fashioned truck and took a deep breath in and press the bell.

Renee opened the door in an instant almost as if she was standing there all along and pulled me into a deep hug and cried on my shoulder. She pulled back and I noticed that she looked as if she had been crying, with dark circles under her eyes, hair sticking out every where, dried tears in her face, a nose like Rudolph, she looked just like I did this morning but an older version and guilt instant wash over me because I know that I did that to her.

'Come on in.' I walked into the room and everything looked immaculate and extremely breath-taking, there was a black chandelier hanging on the ceiling and a 48" TV on the wall and chocolate brown leather couch in the middle facing the TV. I didn't know what to do or want to touch anything incase I ruin anything so I just stood in an awkward position until Renee told me to sit down.

'Bella, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you and I am just so sorry and I am really glad you came.'

'So am I. I look around and noticed that no one was in and once again curiosity got the better of me.

'Mum, where Phil?'

'I sent him out so that you and I could talk with out any interference.'

'Mum, I made a huge mistake when I said I didn't want anything to do with you. It was all a lie and I really do want you to be happy and I feel so bad because I didn't really think about your happiness and I just over reacted and I am so sorry.' Tear racked through my body and I felt Renee hugging me.

'Baby don't cry, I love you so much and I am just glad you came.'

We stay like this for a while and all of a sudden Renee started laughing.

'What are you laughing about mum?'

'Look at us we look so weird, but I'm just glad to have you back in my life again.'

'What made you change your mind?' Edward changed my mind but I didn't want to stir up any trouble so I just answered by saying a 'Friend'

'Well let's just hope it's not a guy friend, you're too young.'

'What's that suppose to mean, I can do what I like and I can choose to have a guy friend.' I answered with a nervous laugh; things are getting out of hand. Clam down Bella.

'Well not under my roof!' she suddenly shouted.

'Mum, have you noticed, I'm not under your roof ok so if I want a guy friend I can have one.'

'I'm your mother and what I say goes and my final answer is no, you can't have a guy friend.'

'Well what would you say if I said I don't want you seeing Phil?'

'Well, that very different.'

'How is it?'

'We're older and what I say goes and don't try to play that card with me.'

'Edward is the one that told me to give you another chance but it seems that you don't want that chance.'

'Edward… what do you mean Edward Cullen? You will certainly not be seeing him, I forbid it!'

'Mum, I had enough. I thought that we could have a decent conversation but in the end you just have to blow everything and make it just worse. Maybe…maybe we're just not meant to get along.' And I got up and walked to the door.

'Bella, come back! Please come back, don't go!!' I heard her call but I was just too upset to listen. She blew it again and I don't think that she's going to get another chance from me again.'

**That's so sad! I wanted Bella to forgive Renee but then I remembered that Renee is meant to very unsupportive of Bella and Edward's relationship so yeah but don't worried they are going to get back on track. I will update some time next week so ****bye! **

**Oh and if you guys can think of any names for a baby girl, can you please suggest and can we make it up to 75 reviews?**


	10. AN:Bad news

Hi people!!! I know that I said that I was going to update sometime this week but sadly I wont be able to because we have guests staying over so my mum wont let me use the computer so there's nothing I can do.

And I noticed that chapter that chapter 9 only has 5 reviews, come on people!! That not nice. I write and I want to get reviews. I would like to thank Sammy May Cullen for offering to help me on the story. I want reviews where people will spot my mistakes for me not only tell me 'Great job, update soon' don't get me wrong I like that but just tell me what you like and don't like. Thank you!!!

And if you can think of any names for Bella's baby can you tell me please. Thank you!!

See you next week. Have a happy almost merry Christmas ( if that makes sense to any one)


	11. If this isn't love

**Swimming in the deep end**

If this isn't love, tell me what it is

'Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy

If this isn't love, tell me what it is

'Cause I never felt like this baby

If this isn't love

**By Jennifer Hudson-If this isn't love**

I had a killer headache that morning. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, took a long and very relaxing shower to loosen my tight muscles and walked back to my room to change into my jogging clothes. **(Picture on profile)**

I grabbed my green I-pod, walked downstairs and saw Charlie cleaning up my mess from yesterday. Guilt instantly crashed over me.

'Dad, you don't have to clean that up. I'll do it when I get back from swimming, besides its only 5:30 in the morning. Please, just go sleep you need your rest.'

Wow, I could a lot of problems didn't I?

Broken glasses lay on the floor, chairs were turned upside down, broken woods everywhere and the list goes on.

Stopping what he was doing Charlie came in front of me and said 'Bella, I don't know what came over you yesterday but if you ever need to speak to someone, you know you can talk to me. We're in this together. But if you don't want to talk to me and if you think that maybe counseling might help'- HOLD UP!!! Counseling?

'Dad, do you think that I'm going crazy? Yesterday was nothing; it was just anger that's been boiling up inside me. Just because I lost my temper for 5 minutes doesn't mean I need a shrink. Come on dad!! I'm fine… oh and before you even think about thinking that I am in denial, don't.'

'Bella…'

'Dad gotta go.' Putting my I-pod ear buds in my ears I walked out the house. I jogged all the way to the bath (SWIMMING POOL, BEFORE YOU START WONDERING WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT :)) and started my training with Jerry.

Training is a lot harder and just the right distraction I was looking for.

'Bella, I'll like to have a word, please.' Jerry said after swimming.

'Bella, why didn't you come to the last training?'

Looking down I answered, 'I had something on my mind. That's all!'

'Well Bella, last time you told me that, I told you to get it sorted and now I'm going to say it again. GET. IT. SORTED!! You need to focus, Bella you need to get your priority straight. I don't want to sound like the bad guy but you need to focus or your not going to stand a chance out there when the big day comes and we're all just going to look like a fool.'

'Ok.'

'You can go now and I want you here tomorrow 6:00 sharp.'

I took all my stuff from the locker, prepared to jog back home but Edward was waiting for me out side the bath leaning casually against his car.

We went to Pizza Hut in Port Angeles **(Is that how you spell it?)**, where we talked about everything under the sun. I told him about mum.

'…So she doesn't like men,' said Edward

Looking at him in the eye, I said, 'Did those words come out my mouth?'

He laughed his musical laugh. 'I love it when you get so uptight.'

Hi white teeth sparkled at me and I wanted to kiss him again. 'Well?' I continued. Shrugging he said, 'I just thought with the experiences your mum has gone through and the way she has filled your mind with all the pregnancy stuff, it's sounds to me as though she hates men.'

I shook my head as I nibbled on a bread stick. 'Not at all. She doesn't hate men, in fact she seeing Phil Dwyer, didn't you know? It's just that, like every other parent, she wants a better life for me than she had. That's all.' I can't believe I was sticking up for my mum but in a weird twisted way I understood way she didn't want me seeing Edward. But that doesn't mean I forgive her.

'Yeah, yeah, that's true.'

We talked about other things like the graduation party Alice was going to throw, what colleges we were going to apply for or already applied for. Edward was applying for Dartmouth and Yale bur I still wasn't sure about myself. I knew swimming is not something I could do for ever but Law has always been something I loved other than swimming.

We also talked about Edward's family and he told me that Emmett finally popped the question to Rosalie. It was bound to happen sooner or later, they are both madly in love, even though I may not get along with Rosalie, I am smart enough to know when two people are in love.

As he drove me home, he asked me what I was getting him for his 18 birthday which was only a month away.

'You'll have to wait and find out.' I really hope that came out convincing because I don't even know what to get him. Before he could get suspicious, I asked him the same question I asked him at my swimming party. 'Edward how did you find out that I was having the party when I didn't even know?'

'I have ways and means,' he grinned.

'C'mon, how did you know?'

'Let's just say I have connection with people who know your people.' What the hell did that mean? I tried to get him to say something logical, but he didn't say anything. He stopped his car at my road and turned the engine off.

Looking straight in my eyes, he said, 'I think you should tell your mum about us.'

Sighing I said, 'I tried to once and she almost bit my head off.'

'Do you want me to be there when you tell her?' I could see that he was scared shit, but tried not to show it.

'No, I'll be fine, what's the worse she could do, try to kill you when you're sleeping?' I said with a forced laugh but once I saw the expression on Edward's face I decided to get out the car before I could say another stupid thing.

I was getting out when I felt a tiny sting starting from my wrist to the rest of my body. I looked down and saw Edward holding my wrist preventing me from getting out.

'Where do you think your going?' His voice was so seductive like a siren call, I could help but just stare and think 'Is this guy all for me?'

'You didn't give me a goodbye kiss.' He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. It was magic, the way his lips connected with mine. It was right, and somehow, among all of the dizziness and the clinging to him like a life line, something inside me changed, never to be reversed. This new feeling could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, I was content to feel his breath come and go with mine.

When we stopped both our breath was ragged. 'Bye Edward.' I said blowing him a kiss.

I spent the rest of the evening in a daze, but that didn't mean I didn't see how tidy the living room was, Charlie did finish cleaning and I would have to find a way to thank him. At night, I just laid on the bed staring at the ceiling content with how the day turned out.

Suddenly, I heard rap on the window and gingerly got off the bed to go investigate, but not before grabbing a baseball bat… you know just in case.

_Deep breaths Bella…_I drew to curtain open, baseball bat tightly held in my hand ready to hit the person, but stopped dead on my track.

'Edward!?' the baseball bat dropped from my grip

'Edward what are you doing here in the middle of the night?' I whispered trying not to wake Charlie.

'Bella, can you open the window? I'm freezing my ass off.' I opened the window and stepped back so he could come in. when he got in, he noticed the baseball bat next to him and flopped on my bed with a big smirk on his beautiful face.

Blushing, I asked him what was funny, even though I already knew the answer to that question my self.

'What are you doing here?'

'Well, I came to see my beautiful girlfriend.' I looked down blushing.

'Well you could have come in the morning like any normal person.' I whispered harshly, don't get me wrong it not like I don't want to see Edward but couldn't he find a reasonable time to come.

The smile on his face dropped and he whispered 'Do you want me to go? I only wanted to surprise you. Sorry.' I know exactly what he was trying to do. Make me feel guilty and I hate to admit it but it was working.

'Edward you can stay. But if we are sharing my bed, you have to promise that you'll keep your hands to your self.' I warned him.

'I Edward Cullen promise to keep my hands to my self only if Isabella Swan doesn't tempt me.' He raised his right hand up like he was taking an oath.

'Fine. Whatever, I want to sleep now.'

We curled up on my small bed but I was a bit hesitant so I kept my distance. But hey you can't really blame me, I never had a guy in my room before, except for my dad but he doesn't count.

Edward must have noticed how hesitation. 'What's wrong?' he smiled 'Do you think I'm going to tear all your clothes off or something?'

'No,' I said I didn't want him seeing like this. All hot and bothered so I moved a little closer to him and lay my head on his chest. He lifted my head and started to kiss me. I grew tense.

'What's the matter?'

I shrugged. 'Nothing.' It was a lie. I felt very nervous and I know that you're probably thinking why she acting like she's never kissed him before? But to be honest with you I don't know my self. Dad's words kept echoing around my mind. There was no way I was going to let this situation get out of hand. Edward pulled away from me. I felt bad and I wanted to tell him what was on my mind but the look on his face put me off.

After a few moments he stared to talk. 'Look, Bella, you're not going to get pregnant by kissing. You've got to relax. I'm not going to try anything on you; its early days and we're just getting to know each other in a new way.'

'Yeah, you're right,' I sighed. I felt so naïve. Edward is gorgeous and I was sure he'd had quite a few girlfriends. He pulled me close again, looked me straight in the eye and said,

'Trust me.'

There was something about his voice that made me melt.

_Next morning~_

I woke up and I lying on Edward's back and our legs were twisted around the duvet. I looked at his face and noticed his hair was scruffier than usual, his mouth was opened in a shape of a 'o' and soft snores escaped from his lips. He looked so cute; I wanted to take a picture. I sat up and stroked his soft silky hair and soon enough he began to wake up.

'This is a nice way to wake up. I think I'm going to come here more often.' He said with a smile on his face. His eyes look more vibrant than usual.

'Come on, let's go breakfast.' I got out of bed and Edward followed me.

It was around 9:00, so I was pretty such that Charlie had gone to work.

We went to the kitchen and I got out a box of cereal. Giving Edward an apologetic smile, I said, 'Sorry, I don't have anything to make a proper breakfast.'

'It's okay. Actually I have to go home so I won't be eating with you.' The smile on my face disappeared and was replaced with disappointment. 'Oh… its okay, we get together another time.'

'Bella, don't be sad, love. I actually need to do something really important but don't worry, I be back.' He said kissing my nose. Was there something more important than me and our relationship? I didn't want him to see my hurt expression so I turned my face around and walked to the fridge and pretend to search for the bottle of milk.

Signing he said, 'Bella, love are you angry?'

'W-what? Why would I be angry?' I tried to sound nonchalant but I am pretty sure it didn't sound like it.

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled my head out of the fridge and looked intensely into my eyes, almost like he was searching for something. Finally he let go of my hand and caressed my cheek.

'Bella, don't worry, I be back but I really have to do something very special for someone.' The boy just keeps putting his feet deeper and deeper in his mouth without even realizing it.

Not long after, he left. All I could think about what is more important than me and our relationship. I know that we only started going out, but I can't help but feel every possessive of him and maybe a little bit jealous. I spent the rest of the day thinking about who this mystery person is. One of Edward's ex or was he just talking about his mum, Esme?

Someone was knocking on the door, so I went to get it and was a little surprised to see Alice standing there carrying her make-up box and a small suitcase with her.

'Alice, what are you doing here?'

'Please Bella; can't a girl come to her best friend's house?'

'Yeah, she can but when she's carrying a make-box and a suitcase, it scares the girl.' Mumbling 'whatever' she barged into the house and ran to my bedroom.

Things are going to get worse. I know that make-up box is not for her and God knows what she has in that bag.

'Stop squirming, the more you squirm the longer I'll take.' With that I stopped fidgeting and just let the girl carry on with what she was doing.

'Alice, what was Edward doing at home?' I needed info and Alice was going to give them to me with out even knowing it.

'I don't know. He came home from somewhere and I bet you know where he was going from but anyways, he just locked himself in his room like he usually does but only this time, there aren't any girls.' With that she continued her torture.

'Good, now close your eyes, so I can do your eye shadow.' She instructed

'Alice please tell me why I need to do this?'

'You'll find out but shut up right now, I need to concentrate.' She snapped. 'I need to finish your make-up, then I need you to put on the dress then I finished my job. Oh and if you get your hair messy, I will strangle you, I don't care what Edward says.' I nodded my head and got up from my seat, now that Alice had finished my make-up.

She got the dress from the suitcase and handed it to me. 'Alice, why did you put the dress in a suit case?'

'Because I wanted to, k? Now shut up and go change!!'

'Gosh Alice, why are you so uptight?'

'If you don't go change, I will show you uptight.' Gulping I ran to the bathroom. I put on the dress and I must admit it was beautiful. Not really my style but still beautiful. **(Picture on profile) **It was black and had a bit of gold on it and was knee length. It not bad but I still wonder why I needed to wear it, it not like I was going somewhere.

I stepped out the bathroom and as I walked to my room, Alice was holding a pair of high heels. 'ALICE!!! What are you trying to do, kill me? I can't walk in this. I'm only going to end up hurt!'

'Oh shut up Bella, you're really lucky it's only 3 inches. I would have given you one with really thin heels but you're lucky, someone stopped me. So just wear the damn shoes.' Gosh what's wrong with Alice today?

'Alice, are you ok?'

'Yeah. Why would I be? Now go put it on.' It was nice, but I would never admit that to Alice. It was a black patent peep toes and it was quite high **(Picture on profile. Sorry I am never bothered to describe properly so you just have to look at it)**

Putting the shoes on, I stood up and walked to my full length mirror and was quite proud to say I didn't trip. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and it didn't even look like me. The lady in front of me looked mature and the eyeliner she had made her eyes look bigger but not abnormal big. She had pink lip gloss on and her lips look soft and kissable. Her long mahogany hair was straightened and was placed on one side of her neck. She looked amazing and the dress made her look older but not in a bad way more like mature and elegant. The shoes made her look taller and everything just blended in together. She looked exquisite and for the first time since she started going out with Edward, this is the first time she felt like she belonged to be with him. But it was too bad he wasn't going to see it.

The door bell rang and Alice ran down the stars to go get it.

'Bella, get your butt down here right now!!!'

'What is it Alice, is everything okay?' I walked slowly down the stairs because I didn't want go tumbling down the stairs.

I was surprised to see who was standing there. Edward.

'Bella, you look beautiful and Edward I want my money be tomorrow. Bye Bella.' With that she skipped out the house.

'Bella…Wow…you look…Wow!!!' I can see he was lost for words.

'You look wow your self!!' I teased him, but I did really mean it. He looked amazing in his white t-shirt and black trouser.

I felt great seeing him and the jealousy I felt before was suddenly gone.

Taking my hands he said, 'Bella, you look beautiful.'

Edward took me to one of the best restaurant in Port angles called Calypso. It was fantastic. The menu was a combination of food from around the world. The place was packed with people from different nationalities. Edward already booked a place for us in one of the secluded areas.

I wonder how he managed to get a reservation when some people couldn't even get one.

Apparently what made the restaurant amazing was the fact that every night there was a different theme and tonight the theme was Carnival!!! Lucky me!!

Excitement was building up in me as the night wore on. Edward looked handsome and I was pretty sure he knew it!! The whit shirt he was wearing heightening his complexion and in the dim light his skin looked amazing. His hair was disheveled as usual but still looked magnificent. He looked good enough to eat and my eyes feasted on him.

When the real food arrived, there was so much of it I thought we'd never be able to eat it all. But it went-most of it in Edward's mouth.

'Bella, I want this night to be all about us. No Renee, no graduation, no swimming, just us. We need to focus on just have fun with each other and that's why I brought us here. I had Alice help you get dress while I was booking this.' Oh my gosh!! He did all this for us. He is so sweet. And all mine.

'But what about the 'thing' you were doing for that person?' I asked, but all he did was laugh.

'I was just messing with you. The only special person in my life is you and I was doing something but it was for you.' Wow!! Could he get any better?

We talked the night away. We just got to know each other even more and I had to say we were having a good time.

Then the music started.

'Come on, let's dance!' He said offering me his hand.

Look around nervously, I said 'I can't dance.'

'Sure you can. Everyone can dance; it's all in the leading.'

'But people will laugh and might even get hurt and when I step on your feet don't blame me because I warned you.' I said finally getting up.

'Bella, I told you tonight is our night. Don't worry about other people, just have fun.'

Edward dragged me right into the middle of the dance floor. The beat of the music was hypnotic and we were really having fun. I can't believe I was doing this and having so much fun. I felt so free as Edward and I gyrated around, shaking our bodies down to the floor, from side to side, throwing our arms and legs all over the floor. Edward held his arm tightly around my waist and didn't let go.

The heat on the dance floor was intense, and the DJ never let up once. It sounded as though he was playing one record all night long, but the rhythm and beats kept varying. Sweat was pouring off both of us and our bodies seemed stuck together. A few times, a fierce sensation burned through me making me throw my arms around Edward's neck and kiss him. Then our eyes would lock and I felt as if I could see deep into his soul. But that didn't stop us dancing.

The evening ended all too soon. We walked back to the car in silence, hand in hand. Everything felt new; the streets seemed cleaner and the air smelt fresher. It was strange.

Driving home, Edward had one hand on the steering wheel, and held my hand with the other. When the traffic lights were red, he would lean over and kiss me. I felt like I was melting. It was delicious.

As usual, he parked the car in front of my house. I looked at the clock on the dashboard-it was 12:45am.

I rested my head on the back of my seat and closed my eyes. I felt Edward's body heat as he leaned closer to me. He cupped my face with his hands and we kissed. The thoughts in my head were like clothes in a washing machine on fast spin, crazy things all jumbled up together. When Edward began to massage my shoulder, it seemed to increase the heat in the car. I could hear a low moaning sound and was shocked to realize that it was coming from me!! Quickly, I placed my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him away. We smiled at each other.

'I like you a lot, Bella.' He whispered kissing my nose, my cheeks and my eyes.

I stroked his chin. 'I like you too, Edward, very much.'

'I think we will be together for a really long time; we have something special.'

Tears pricked my eyes and my heart filled up on Edward.

I hugged him tightly and thought this must be love…

**Hi people!!!!**

**I was going to update earlier but things have been every busy so yeah. I hope you like it and for those of you asking for Bella and Edward fluff, this is it and I hope that it is ok, because if it's not sorry. I am only a kid. So yeah**

**Sorry for any mistakes and don't forget to review.**

**Review**

**Review**

**Review!!**

**Thank you!!**

**Ayo not Amanda.**


	12. AN:Help

Hi guys, sorry this is not an update. I just wanted to ask you something, but before I do, I want to say thank you to the people that reminded me that Bella had swimming training because I totally forgot to put it in. I do something about it in the next chapter.

I need your help guys, I have 2 different alternatives way for the story to continue and I don't know which one to do. So can you please help me?

A). Bella stays in Forks but has problems with the Cullen but doesn't know she is pregnant. If you pick this one there will be drama but this is just a brief of what it would be like.

B). Bella fights with the Cullen then goes to her mum who takes her to Florida then she meets Jake (who's gay) and finds out she is pregnant and then meet the Cullen 5 years later. And they work things on from there.

So can you guys help me pick or I'll just have to flip a coin to pick one. Please, please, please, please help me. Oh just say option A or B.

Thanks and as soon as you help, I know how to continue the story.


	13. Let the drama commence

**Swimming in the deep end**

It's been a little over a month since Edward and I have been going out. Everything felt so right and not once whenever I hanged out with Edward did I even think about Renee.

Edward and I were stuck together like strong adhesive glue. When whenever I saw him, we would have a fantastic time and sometimes he would manoeuvre the conversation around to the topic of 'love', although he kept it vague at first. Then one day as we sitting in his car, he said, 'Bella, I love you.' I didn't know what to say. His words made my heart jump about like someone on a trampoline, but I couldn't reply. What kept me from responding, especially physically, was the memory of the night in my bedroom. Even though at times our kissing was like a magnet pulling our bodies closer and closer together, I was always able to stop at the right moment. But for how long will I last?

We seem to have fallen into a very comfortable relationship, if you understand what I mean. The one where there's no pressure, there's always a comfortable silence, rarely any fights, no secrets and everyone in school seem to have accepted the fact that Edward Cullen is going out with me. Well everyone except Jessica, Lauren and Rosalie. Let's face it; those 3 will never like me. I seem to have something they wanted, in Jessica and Lauren's case I have Edward and Rosalie on the other hand, doesn't like to share her best friend, Alice.

Edward's birthday is next week and I have the perfect gift, at lest I hope it is, anyways I got him the Blackberry curve 8520**(Picture on profile)** (He's been talking about it for a while now and I am not that stupid so I figured he probably wanted me to get it for him), I also got him a photo album showing the time we've spent together and concert tickets for him and I to go see his favorite band.

Since Edward and Alice are twins, I had to get her a gift as well and since its Alice we're talking about I have to make sure I got her something that would big and nice that would attract a lot of attention to her. Alice is one of them girls that like to have things done their way and doesn't stop until she gets what she want.

I remember the day, when she came over to my house to give me that makeover for me and Edward's first date; she was a bit too cranky not really like Alice so I confronted her and made her tell me what was wrong. The reason was almost too unbelievable.

_**Flashback**_

'_Alice. Why are you so uptight? You didn't even ask me how my date went and that is so not like you!!' I am really starting to get worried. _

'_I talked to Rosalie about her wedding.' She said and then a tear escaped from her eye. The sight was almost unbearable. Alice looked so sad; the bubbly energetic pixie I knew seemed to have vanished. She looked so sad it bought tears to my eyes._

'_So… what happened?' I really don't know what else to say. Was the wedding cancelled or something?_

_Sniffing she said, 'I asked Rosalie if I could plan the wedding and you won't believe what she said!!!' she said finally bursting into tears. 'She said…s-she think about it!! THINK ABOUT IT!! Bella can you believe it?'_

'_Alice, what I can't believe is, you're crying because she said she'll think about it. She probably is going to say yes.'_

'_Y-you think so?'_

'_Alice, yes I think so.' I said walking over to her and rubbing her back. Alice could be so dramatic at time, making the littlest thing like getting a pin prick seem like the whole house is on fire._

_Wiping her tears and jumping on her bed she asked, 'So how did the date go?'_

'_Alice, girl you bounce back fast.' I said laughing._

'_Tell me, tell me!!' she shrieked_

_**End of flashback**_

I decided to get her something really nice, so I got her Fantasy, the pink perfume by Britney Spears** (Love the perfume and I love her!! But that doesn't mean I'm a les!!)**.

Also I got her a heart-shaped diamond necklace. You will be wondering how I managed to afford all this from Blackberry to a diamond necklace, it actually simple. One word. Renee.

She feels so guilty so decides to send me $5,000 dollars every week. No kidding!!! Curtsey of Phil Dwyer. I'm not surprised actually; to Phil giving $5,000 to someone must be like giving $10 **(sorry people I don't know American moneys)**

Alice has been going mad planning 2 birthdays and a graduation party, but hey she does like a challenge.

Charlie decided that it was time to stop mopping and start taking charge, so he finally decided to send a divorce paper to Renee.

Everyone's been busy filing divorce papers, sending college applications, revising for the up coming exams, planning a wedding (Emmett and Rosalie) planning a birthday party and graduation party and training twice as hard for the trial for the Commonwealth Games swimming team. Could things get anymore hectic?

I remembered the day I had missed training again because Edward and I went on our first date. Coach wasn't too happy about it and made me swim for an extra 2hours saying next time I miss a training he was going to double it. I really did have a perfectly good reason why I didn't come but talking about my love life to Jerry was not something I would do for all the money in the world.

_**The day to Edward and Alice's birthday:**_

Edward was going to pick me up at 6:00pm so that gave me 2 hours to get dressed. Edward should be at the party preparing for the big entrance Alice was going to make him do (you know like the one you see on super sweet 16) anyways he turned her down and decided that we should come together , that that would be the perfect entrance for him. I quote: 'I don't need an entrance; all I need is for my beautiful girlfriend who I love so much by my side' I 'm not too sure if he was just using me as an excuse to get away from Alice but if it was I don't really blame him.

Alice wasn't so please that her big entrance was ruin so decided that if we were going to turn up together then we should at last dress like a real couple.

So after I took a bath I went to the closet and got the blue dress Alice choose **(Picture on profile) **for me. Edward loved it when I wore the color blue, he said it made my skin look softer or something like that.

I started on my hair and make up, yes you may be a little surprised that I am going my make up but I am not that bad that it actually, I just didn't like it when Alice takes her time just to do my hair and she can finish doing her hair in 5mins.

After I completed my hair and make up, I went to the bathroom to see if anything was missing.

I had to say I really did do a good job. I had the left hair hanging down like a little side fringe and softly curled it and had the rest of my hair in a soft bun. I had a little amount of make up on my face just a little bit of mascara which really opened my eyes more and a light silver eye shadow and pink lip gloss. I not the type of girl who cakes her face with lots of make up.

I looked at my dress and liked what I saw, a blue short dress which looked like it was made of flowy gentle material. Attractive neckline with centered straps. It really hugged my figure and really made my skin glow. To complete my look I had on a pair of silver high heel. (2 inches, I really know my limit.)

Not long after, the door bell rang and Charlie went to get it. That can't be good.

As fast as I could walk in the shoes, I went down the stairs before Charlie could start interrogation Edward.

'Take care of my girl. If anything happens to her you will pay.' Charlie warned him.

'Yes sir and my sister Alice asked if Bella could stay the night.'

'Where is Bella going to sleep?'

'Dad?' I shouted but both men continued the conversation like I wasn't even there.

'She's going to be in Alice's room, sir.' Edward really was been polite; it really wouldn't hurt Charlie to give it a try as well.

'Have fun Bella and if he does anything inappropriate kick him where it hurts.'

'Dad, stop it!! I am not going to do that!' Before Charlie could say any other thing I dragged Edward out the house.

Edward opened the door for me like he always did and walked o the other side and got in the car. I didn't get a chance to see what he was wearing before but now that I noticed, I don't think I would be able to take my eyes off of him.

He had on a light blue shirt almost the same color as mine and black trouser. A really simple look that makes him look like a God. His hair was tousled as usual but looked a bit like he tried to tame it. But it didn't work. The thing about Edward is, you can give him anything to wear and with out even trying he would make it look amazing.

We arrived at the Cullen's house just a bit after 6. We knocked on the door and Alice came out looking amazing in a black dress. She hugged me and told me I looked amazing. If Alice said I looked amazing she probably saying 'Good job Bella, so you can dress yourself.'

We walked in the Cullen's house which was nicely decorated. When I dropped the gifts to where the rest were, we moved slowly from the front door to the kitchen, as the hallway was lined with people.

'Alice really invited a lot of people.'

'Yeah well, these are only close friends. See how we can move about freely. If this was a proper party, we wouldn't be about to budge an inch!' He clutched hold of my hand and introduced me to a few more people. By the time we got somewhere to sit I was hot, sticky and thirsty. I already polished off one glass of ice cold wine and I asked Edward to get me another.

'Take it easy, Bella.' He grinned.

'But there's nothing else to drink except for tap water.'

I like the fact that he was concerned about how much I was drinking. I never drunk more than couple of glasses of wine before, and when we went on the date that was the first time I had more than 3 and I didn't even feel drunk or any thing. Beside, I was with Edward, and I knew that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. By the time he came back with a larger glass of wine, the music had been turned up. A few people came and went to greet Edward.

'Wow. That is a big glass.' I said, sipping it.

'Yeah, I though it would save me getting up too often.'

I think the effect of the wine was getting to me because I told Edward to dance with me.

Because everyone else seemed to have the same idea we had to dance fairly close together, even though the first few records were fast ones. The room was like an oven and I kept taking sips of wine in between dances to cool down. Suddenly I realized my glass was empty again and I dispatched Edward off to get another one. When he returned the music had changed to a slower tempo.

We smooched.

'I thought you said you only invited a few close friends who were going to talk and eat and that everything would be laid back?' I whispered in his ear as we swayed in time to the beat.

'It is. Would you rather go and get involved in a conversation?' he teased. I looped my arms around his neck and sighed, 'No, here is just fine.'

The light was very dim. We started kissing again, more intensely this time. It felt as though we were communicating with each other on a different level as though we were the only one in the room. Edward led me back to our seats, but it was taken.

'C'mon, let's get out of here.' We tried the patio, but all the chairs were occupied. So we went upstairs.

By now I'd had a few drinks, but I didn't feel drunk just mildly tipsy. Edward and I ended up in his bedroom. A few people were already sitting on the bad and the floor. There was a large bean bag by the glass window. Edward sat on it and pulled me down on his lap. No one took any notice of us.

Someone produced a bottle of wine, and my glass was refilled. I drank. My head was lying comfortably on Edward's shoulder and it seemed so natural for my lips to brush lightly against his skin. Edward responded by squeezing me tightly. I heard the other people leave. Edward looked up and said to them, 'Later.'

We now had the room to ourselves. My mind was occupied with Edward-nothing else.

We looked deeply into each other's eyes. It was hypnotic, as if a force was drawing us closer and closer to each other. Our lips joined and my body felt like it had been set on fire. A fierce hunger for Edward overwhelmed me and I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

Things were moving very fast. Before I knew it my dress was off. From somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, I could hear Dad's voice, but I couldn't understand what was being said. I closed my mind. The truth is I didn't want to hear.

**Hi, people I don't really like this chapter, so sorry if you don't like it either. It didn't come out like I planned. And I want to say thank you to everyone that picked an option and I can clearly say that option A, is the one I am going to do. Thank you so much for saying what you think.**

**Ayo not Amanda :)**


	14. Friends and Foe

**Swimming in the deep end**

The bright sun eroded the dark of the night. I could hear the birds chirping happily. A beautiful day, but not for me.

I lay in bed, thinking about what had happened between me and Edward the night before. I kept torturing myself, going over and over and over it. I couldn't believe that everything mum and dad had drilled into me for years had been torn down with such wild abandon by a few glasses of wine and the company of a handsome guy. I felt sick.

I think Edward and I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, my mind was numb and my mouth was as dry as a Weetabix. I turned my head, and it felt as if someone was hammering inside my skull. I was lying in bed, and Edward was lying next to me, completely naked.

His arm was around my bare waist. Instantly, I sat up and shook him.

'Edward, Edward. Wake up!'

He just moaned and tried to muzzle my neck. I gave him a jab in the ribs (something I should have done last night. God, if I had listened to Charlie)

'Wake up.' Even though the night was warm, goose pimples were popping up all over my body. Ice cold fear gripped my heart and I was finding it hard to breathe. 'Edward,' I shouted.

He turned to me with a big grin on his face. 'What's the matter, love?' He tried to pull me in for a kiss.

'Get me out of here,' I screamed, jumping out of bed and pulling on my clothes.

'What time is it?'

'Late, Get up, I want too go home.' My tongue felt as though it was going to crack. I was trying to swallow, but it was difficult.

Edward got out of bed, 'Where are my shorts?' As he said those words, we both looked at each other and my heart sank. 'Oh no, what have we done.' I whispered.

We walked out of the house and into the car in utter silence. We didn't say a single word to each other the whole way home. But the moment Edward pulled up in front of my house, I freaked out.

'Why, Edward? Why?'

He tried to pacify me, but the look on his face said it all.

Streams of tears flowed down my face. 'I trusted you. Why did you do it?'

'Why did I do it? You were just as eager for it as I was!' He shouted back. That made me feel even worse: I knew he was right.

'Don't you see, it was the wine. I didn't know what was happening.' I howled, bawled and wailed. How could I have been s stupid?

'Look, calm down Bella. We only did it once. It's not as though you'll get pregnant or anything.' That 'P' set me off again. I t took me ages to calm down. By then, the time was nearly four o'clock. Charlie would be sleeping.

I crept in the house and noticed that the TV was on in the living room. Charlie must have fallen asleep in front of it.

I waked in and anger boiled inside me.

'DAD?' I shouted I can't believe this.

'Bella, what are you doing home so early?'

'Early? Dad, it 4:00!! I think the real question is who is SHE?' Charlie was curled up on the love seat with a woman who I may recognize as Sue Clearwater.

'Bella, I was going to tell you. Please just listen to me, please.' My dad said getting up from the chair and coming towards me.

'HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN GOING ON FOR?' He was making Renee seem like the bad guy, when he was also sneaking off with a widow. One of his best friend's wife, ok the man was dead but still, one of you friend's wife.

'Bella please. Listen, I didn't want you to find out like this…' He pleaded and tried to hug me. I took a step backward and run up to my room. 'I can't handle all this; I have enough shit on my plate.' I mumbled into my pillow. I didn't feel right so I got up and want to have a long, hot bath.

The morning came all too quickly. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go swimming and I didn't want to face Dad. Even though I should be angry at him, I felt that if I walked down stairs he would be able to tell that I wasn't a virgin any more.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed of being with someone special. When I fully understood what Mum had gone through I was adamant that I wouldn't just throw my virginity away to the first boy I went out with. At school, other girls would be doing it as soon as possible, and would think I was some kind of freak, wanting to wait. Mum had instilled in me the idea that my body was a precious commodity, and that I should give it to someone who loved me enough to wait for the right moment. Yes at times I was very curious, and would ask some friends, 'What is it like?' And ever since I had started dating Edward, I did wonder if I would abandon those thoughts and ideals, and just do it. But not like this I just wasn't ready.

Getting up was an ordeal. I was on autopilot, just going through the familiar motions. Sitting on the bed, I wondered how I was going to make it to the bathroom. I felt as if I had done a thousand lengths in the pool. Besides, I didn't want to look at my body. I visualized Edward's hands, roving my body, exploring me. Tears pricked in my eyes.

Suddenly I could hear Dad moving around outside. I jumped back into bed and pulled the duvet over me just as he came in the room.

'Bells, I think we need to talk.' He said softly.

'Hmm.' I mumbled.

Sighing he said, 'Bella I know that you are upset, but please just let me explain'

Clenching my fists under the duvet I willed myself not to burst into tears, 'What time is it?'

'Around 8…Bella we need to talk.' He said in a more persistent voice.

I sat up, pretending to yawn and stretch. 'I need a shower.'

Sighing he said 'Bella you can't keep avoiding this. We need to talk.'

I need help and I know just who to go to.

In the shower I scrubbed my skin so hard it stung. I realized I had to go on as normal or Dad is going to suspect that something is wrong and would tell mum. I was determined to put last night's event out of my mind. I nibbled on some dry toast then headed off for my training session with Jerry.

By the time I had finished swimming I was beginning to feel a bit better. But Jerry must have suspected something again because he asked me if I was alright: 'No problem' I muttered, avoiding his gaze. It was as if everyone could see it in my eyes.

I jogged to the Cullen's place hoping that Edward wouldn't be in. It was a bit of a distance, but I needed to think and I needed to know what to do in case Edward answered the door. Edward has phoned me, but I wasn't ready to speak to him yet.

'Come on Bella, don't be silly.'

Gritting my teeth, I said, 'Don't call me silly, okay? I'll speak to you some other time.' Then I switched off my phone. I was furious at Edward. Why couldn't he understand that this was a big deal for me? I was confused, frightened and upset and all he could do was tell me I was been silly! What had happened didn't seem to mean anything to him.

Mum was right. She'd had always said that for some reason, sex was like having a meal to men-once it's consumed, it was forgotten. Perhaps Edward was like that. Perhaps last night meant nothing to him.

When I arrived at the Cullen's house, she was already at the door.

'I saw you coming up the road.' She beamed. We hugged.

We walked to the hallway and Alice's mum Esme appeared from the kitchen. 'Hi Bella. Congratulations on being selected for the Commonwealth Games.'

I smiled, 'I haven't been picked yet. It's just for the trials.'

'I know, but it's still exciting having a star in your hallway. Trust me that don't happen everyday. And knowing you, you'll get through, no problem.' She sounded so proud and happy that's something I loved about Esme, she likes a second mum to me and I could always count on her. My spirit lifted up at those words. It was encouraging to think that so many people had such confidence in me.

Alice grabbed my arm. 'C'mon, upstairs we have things to discuss.'

Alice went back down stairs only to return carrying a tray laden with food. 'With the compliments of my mum.'

'Alice I need your help.' It all seemed so normal, me in Alice's room like we used do gossiping about everything new in town.

'Wait, you can't start. We have to wait for Rosalie, she's in the bathroom.'

'Ohh…I thought it was only me and you.' I looked down trying to keep the hurt from showing on me face.

We sat in silence for a while until Alice decided to start talking. 'I love the Britney spear perfume you gave me its soooooo nice and the necklace…OH MY GOSH!!! Bella it is beautiful, I could believe that you bought that for me. I am really impressed at your shopping skills, it's really really improved.' She started ranting

Rosalie walked in glaring at me. 'What is SHE doing here?' emphasizes on the She.

'Oh come off it Rosalie, she's my friend and she can come anytime she like, just like you.' Alice defended me.

'Whatever.' I heard her mumble.

'So Bella, can you tell me what happened between you and my brother? He was so miserable and cranky this morning.'

'How do you know it has something to do with me?'

'I don't know…maybe because he hasn't opened the gifts you gave him or because he's been staring at a picture of you on his phone or maybe because twice when someone called he thought they were you.' Oohh.

'We had a fight'

'Oh my gosh!! Your first couple's fight, that is soo cute!!!' she squealed 'Ok tell me what it was about, wait let me guess…he wanted to get you a very expensive gift and you said no? I'm right aren't I?' The girl can talk

'Alice. No.'

'Bella, please tell me you haven't gone off him already, have you?'

I hung my head even lower. And then the tears came.

* * *

'But Bella, how much did you drink?' asked Alice, Rosalie has been quite through the whole conversation but did have some snide comments to make. Shaking my head I said, 'I don't know.'

'You don't even drink Bella. You did use protection didn't you?'

A lump was growing in my throat, and it was getting difficult to speak. Alice and Rosalie were both silent.

'You have to go and talk to someone, Bella.' Alice said again breaking the silent. 'I know my brother, he had sex so many times Bella and I'm not saying he has some kind of disease but you need to get a check up.'

I knew she was right but I couldn't take in what she was saying. I just wanted to forget the whole experience.

'Yeah I'll do that.' I said, unconvincingly.

Alice, who was always looking on the bright side, said, 'Well now you've joined the club. Welcome!!' she got off the bed and came to hug me

'I don't know what the big deal is, the girl is always exaggerating things and expects everyone to come running to her when she fells.' said Rosalie.

'Rosalie, can you be quite for one minute, this isn't about you. She's my friend and her boyfriend is my brother. Grow a sensitive bone in your body.' Alice shouted at her.

'Bella just ignore her.'

'Fine, I try to be nice,' I don't think she really meant it, but since Alice was her friend I think she didn't want to get into a fight with her.

'So_ Bella _I you'll have to go on the pill now?' she asked

'No way.' I replied

'But Bella, you can't just play Russian roulette,' Alice exclaimed

'I don't intend doing it again. It was strictly a one-off.'

Rosalie said quietly, 'Alice is right, you know. If you're still going out with Edward, you might want to do it again with him, and then what? At least buy some condoms, just in case.' I wasn't used to Rosalie been nice to me, it was almost overwhelming.

Shaking my head, I said, 'No way. What happened yesterday will never happen again.'

'Never?' said Rosalie. 'Listen, Edward is sweet; gosh I can't believe I just said that, anyways it's obvious to me that you wanted to have a little taste, and you bit of more than you could chew.'

'That's not true…'

Rosalie cut me off, 'Listen to me!! Don't give me that, I can't believe I'm going to say this again but, Edward is…hot. One touch and you're burnt.' She got up and walked over to me and kneeled next to me. 'That wonderful bronze hair and the juicy pink lips…those muscle bound arms are irresistible.' She closed her eyes and hugged herself. I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Rosalie stood up and suddenly her eyes were full of pride and disgust.

'See Alice, I can be friendly but I just don't want to be. Little miss goody two shoes doesn't deserve my friendship and Alice don't ever bet against me.' With that she walked out the door.

'Alice what was that about?' I asked feeling confused. What just happened? One minute she nice and the next she back to being ice queen?

'Nothing.' She growled, she was seething

'Bella, don't be upset, it's not like you're pregnant.' Alice sat down and looked me in the eyes.

That was the thought that had been nagging away at my mind ever since I found myself in bed with Edward. My periods were irregular and the last one I had was two months ago. Because of that I didn't keep much of a check on them. The doctor said it was hormonal, and I should really have them regulated by taking pill. But I didn't want to do that because I was worried that if I gained excess weight, it would affect my performance in the water.

Thankfully, Alice didn't notice the change I my expression. 'Tell Edward to get himself doctored, like they do to dogs,' she persisted meaning that he should have a vasectomy. We laugh and the atmosphere in the room brightened.

We started chatting about this and that and soon it was time for me to go.

'Go please,' Alice begged, kidding of course, 'I don't want to talk about you and my brother's sex life. It's too disturbing.'

'Alice can I tell you something?' I asked tentatively

'What is it?' The humor left her voice.

'Al, I feel terrible,' I confined. 'For the life of me, I don't know why I let my guard down.'

Alice sighed. 'The truth is I think that you were drunk and I suppose that when he started kissing you, you just responded. But I think there's more to it.'

'What do you mean?'

Looking at me for a moment, and then taking a deep breath, Al said, 'I think that you really fancy him and on some level you wanted to have sex with him.'

That was not what I want to hear. For some reason, I wanted her to blame everything on Edward.

'But Al, I don't even know how much I had to drink. I was hot and thirsty and Edward kept getting me glass after glass. I never imagine that I would end up sleeping with him. I think he got me drunk on purpose.'

'Don't blame this all on my brother,' she growled slowly and anger flashed in her eyes 'Sorry Bella the defensive sister came in.' she said. She didn't bother to say anything else because I think that she realized that she wasn't going to get much sense out of me today.

'Bella, if you're still going to date Edward, protect your self, just to be on the safe side.'

That was another big question. What was I going to do about Edward?

I need answers. I need my friend. I need my coach. I need my backbone…I need my mother.

* * *

**Hi guys, happy New Year!!!**

**My new year's resolution is to update faster, but it wasn't that fast, but anyways.**

**The poll has been closed and the gender almost everyone picked was a girl. Thanks for voting and have a nice day!!!**

**Reviews please and sorry if there were any mistakes!!!**

**Ayo not Amanda.**


	15. Mother&Daughter talk

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Sorry people, the mother-daughter talk, yeah not really my thing. I'm not a very sensitive or emotional person, but that ****doesn't**** mean that my heart is made of ice or anything, the only thing I get sensitive about is Eastenders (British Soap) so yeah…**

I noticed something; it is so easy to get into a fight with someone you love. You have a stupid argument with them, raise your voice you, and see who can shout the loudest (screaming match) and in the mist of all that, one of you manages to say something that stabs the other one in the chest. Fights are so easy to get into and sometimes the cause of your fighting is very insignificant, but it's not so easy to win them back…here I am, standing in front of Renee's mansion, contemplating whether or not to press the stupid bell.

_**Come on Bella, don't be such a wimp! Press the bell.**_

Gosh I just can't bring my self to press the damn bell. But I need her help. She my mother, I shouldn't be afraid of my own mother. I have been standing here for at least 5 minutes now.

I can't press it so I turned around and ran to my truck, hoping that no one noticed me or heard my truck coming from down the road.

'Bella, please don't go!' Too late, she saw me. Now I actually have to talk to her!!

See how messed up our relationship is? My mother, I'm hiding from my own mother!! See how fucked up that is? I shouldn't be afraid, she my mother, the only person I should feel comfortable talking to, the only person I know will understand what I am going through and I am here hiding from her.

I turned around and saw Renee standing by the door with a melancholy expression.

'Umm…Hi, mum?' it sounded more like a question.

'Oh Bella, I 'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. You probably hate me but I understand, I am just so, so, so sorry!' she came and stood in front of me and cupped my face in her hands and made me stare into her eyes, the exact replica of mine, big and brown, but they looked like they were filled with so much pain and sorrow, it hurt just to look into them.

'Mum, Mum its ok.' She was ripping my heart out my chest, I knew that she would be feeling bad but I just didn't know that she would feel this bad.

'Bella, would you like to come inside?' She asked so timidly, it was like she was expecting me to turn her down.

Putting a shaky smile on my face I replied, 'Sure…Mum.'

We stepped into the massive house and stood here staring at each other not knowing what to say or how to react. Am I meant to go hug her? Is she meant to hug me? Is she waiting for me to talk? I didn't know what to do; it was as if I was with a stranger, not my mother.

I looked around and my eyes landed on the papers scattered messily on a big mahogany table.

'What are those?'

'Bella, that's paper, you get them from trees, I'm shocked I thought you knew what paper is!!' she teased me maybe trying to lighten the mood.

I gave her a look that said 'I am not very amused' and all she did was laugh. God I miss my mother's laugh, it was like a sweet lullaby in my ears.

'It's the divorce papers your dad sent. I was just checking them to see if there is any thing I didn't like.' So when they check it and they agree with everything on it, they will no longer be Mr. and Mrs. Swan. I will have two parents living under different last names. It's defiantly going to take some getting use to.

We stood in there, just looking around. I didn't know what to say, it felt like I was tongue-tied, no words were coming out.

'Babes, why don't you go in the living room and I'll go get us your favorite ice cream…vanilla!!' Something isn't right, my mum hates vanilla, the last time she had it she threw up. I know what you're thinking, what kind of person doesn't like vanilla?

'Mum… you ok?' She might be taking some sort drugs that makes her forget stuff that she hate. But that's just a theory.

'You've just made my day, I'll be right back' she practically skipped out of the living room, reminding me so much of Alice.

* * *

We cuddled up on the big sofa, eating the tub of Ice cream, laughing at all the funny bit in the film.

Renee is always full of surprises and this is one of the times that she left gob smacked. She ate half the ice cream, but that's not what surprised me: when I was 15, she bought it vanilla, tried it and threw up and for some weird reason ended up having diaharria. She swore never to try it again and here she is eating the ice cream.

'Mum, what's my name?' I know the question probably sounds stupid but I have a reason for asking.

'Bella are you ok?' She asked touching my neck with the back of her hand, maybe trying to see if I have a fever?

'Yes mum, I am ok. But you do know that you are eating vanilla ice cream, without throwing up or having diaharria like you had the last time. Remember, you spent so much time in the toilet I said it was your new bedroom.' I laughed as I remembered the experience, she barely came out the toilet and when she did it was to get water to drink because she need the fluid in her system but other then that, she spent her time in the toilet.

'What's your point?' she asked while shoving a spoon full of vanilla in her mouth.

Renee could be so immature at times and this is one of them. She's free spirited and so care free. When I was younger I used to dream about being just like her and still do but hey, what girl doesn't dream to be just like their mum?

They make every thing look so easy, make sacrifices for you, put you before themselves, work hard to make you a better person and it seems that they can carry the whole world on their shoulder without any difficulty. The main reason I dream about being just like her is because of the sacrifice she made. Finding out that she's going to have a baby at the age of 19, when she had everything working out right, opportunity of a life time and then to suddenly giving everything up because she gets pregnant. What she did is something I will never really understand.

I always try to put my self in her shoes, trying to make it big in the swimming world then finding out that I am pregnant. If that was to happen to me, I knew exactly what I was going to do… get it terminated. I have everything working out and to just suddenly give it all up because of a child?

I know I probably sound cruel like one of them soulless monsters but that's just my opinion, but I have nothing to worry about, it not like I am pregnant right now, right?

We finished the film. I had my head on Renee's lap and she was softly combing my hair with her hand. **(A/N: My mum does that :)) **

We didn't say anything, just sitting in comfortable silence until Renee finally said 'Bella, are you and Edward more than friends?' I instantly froze and for some reason I felt blood rushing to my cheeks.

'M-m-maybe.' I mumbled hiding my face in her lap.

'Bella I am so sorry. I didn't listen to you that day and from the way you were defending him I knew you might have feelings for him.'

'Mum it's ok, maybe I did over react.' Beside I'm not even talking to him right now I thought.

'If you like him so much, I really don't mind you seeing him, just as long as you promise me, you keep what belongs to you, because once it's gone Bella you can't get it back.' I froze again and felt tears threatening to spill. She is so right, I feel so miserable, like I just gave up a part of me away and for some reason I felt cheap like one of the girls that Edward used to mess around with every time I went over to their house. I felt like I had no value and I just couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

'Bella, did I say something wrong?' panic was clear in her voice.

'Mum, it's nothing. I'm just glad to have my mum talking to me.' I lied, but she didn't suspect anything because she pulled me up and hugged me tightly.

'I just glad that you're talking to me as well. But Bella I want you to promise me that you are not going to give yourself to him, if you know what I mean. I want you to keep your…what's the word…innocence, that's it. Bella once it's gone, it's gone. You're not getting it back.' She kept hitting the nail on the head; everything she's saying is bang on true. I did feel terrible, I do want what's mine back, I lost what made me different from most girls and now I'm just like them.

'Bella, are you ok?' she asked when she noticed I didn't say anything.

'Yeah…just fine.' I mumbled.

'Bella, I don't want you to end up like me, had a dream, then got pregnant. I know what you might be thinking, **'If I get pregnant I'm going to get rid of it, it's not even a baby yet so I don't care'**, but Bella once you find out that you are pregnant all the thought of getting rid of it will disappear. You will be amazed that you're creating a new life, but I don't want that for you. I want you to make something of your life, live it to the fullest, become an amazing swimmer and then have children. Please promise me that you're not going to give that Edward boy your innocence. Please?' she looked in my eyes and I felt like I let her down, maybe I am over reacting but this is the worse situation ever, should I lie to my mum and say that I'm still a virgin or tell her the whole truth?

If I tell her then she's going to get upset and we're just going end up having another row and I don't want that, she's my mum… should I lie or tell the truth?

* * *

**Hi people, I know that this chapter is short, but I have to go finish my hair and if I didn't finish it here, then I wouldn't post the chapter until maybe next week, so I decided to post it right now. And I'm trying to keep my New Year resolution which is to update on time and the other one is to keep my New year resolution and I have to say I am going quite well!!**

**Please review and sorry for the mistakes, I had to rush this, so I didn't have time to check for mistakes, because my mum is in a shitty mood right now, so I have to go!!!**

**Ayo not Amanda**


	16. Decision

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Hi!! I noticed that the last chapter didn't get a lot of review, very sad. But come on people, bare with me, I know that things are moving so very slowly but show me some love. Please, please review. God I sound so desperate!!! But oh well, enjoy this chapter and please review**.

I shifted uncomfortably on the seat. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to have a cardiac arrest, my palms were sweaty, and for some weird reason I couldn't feel my tongue, it was numb.

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I didn't know what to say, I didn't have a good enough reason. It was ridiculous. I never lied to my mum before and this wasn't some silly little lie like saying it wasn't you that had the last cookie or that you cleaned your room when obviously you haven't.

This is much bigger than that. Should I lie to her and have her believe I'm still a virgin or tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth? There are times I wish I never really had a close relationship with my mother, and then we wouldn't have to discuss things like this.

This is hard!! She's putting too much pressure on me.

I know she is not doing it on purpose but for some reason it feels like it.

Sucking a deep breath in, and then plastering a smile on my face, I said, 'Of course mum. God, what type of daughter do you think I am? I not the type of girl that just gives her virginity to the first guy she meets, mum trust me, I am not going to let you down.' By the end of my 'speech' I was feeling more miserable than before. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. She's my mother and I am here lying to her, did she buy it? I really want to tell her, but I just can't. She will be so disappointed. I could feel another round of tears coming, so I just buried my face in the pillow.

'Of course Bella, I trust you. I know you will never lie to me so I understand. I can trust you; hell if I can't trust my own daughter, who can I trust?' She said as she stroked my hair. I am going to die of guilt if she doesn't shut up. It's like she trying to make me feel bad but doesn't really know. She has too much confidence in me. I've let her down.

We sat in silent, my head still buried in the pillow, and Renee still had her hand in my hair.

I didn't know what to say, I didn't even want to say anything, I just want to sit here and let guilt engulf me.

'How's Charlie?' she asked quietly, so quite I almost didn't hear her.

Sniffing, I mumbled 'He's fine. He's coping and even managed to land himself a girl friend.' I laughed when I finished the sentence. It was so hard to see Charlie with another woman. Wait Charlie with another woman? I never thought I'd see the day!! I didn't really think about it that much, I wasn't even upset, and he deserved it, so I guess all I have to do is to be happy for him. There!! That's one problem solved, I just wish my other problem could be this easy.

'W-wow, I'm really happy for him. He deserved it.' Renee choked and her eyes glistened with tears, she put a shaky smile on and it looked as though she was going to break down any moment.

'Yeah, Mum, I have the swimming trial in 2 weeks and I would really like you to come.' I said nervously, I wasn't going to invite her before but It felt I just had to, no wait - I wanted to, I already lied to her the least I can do is invite her to come watch her daughter in the swimming trail, which will decide if I really am going to be in the Olympics. I couldn't wait.

'Sure babes, I'll be there, and I am really sure you're going to be amazing!!' she said giving me a kiss.

'Do you want to have ice cream again?' she asked jumping in her seat.

'Mum we just had a tub before, Renee, what's got into you?' I said while laughing. The tension in the room reduced but I still felt guilty for not telling her the truth.

* * *

My phone rang waking me and Renee up from our slumber.

'Hello?' I was groggily **(Does that make sense?)**

'Bella, where are you? It's 8:30 already. Don't tell me you're with that Edwin boy or…' I didn't get to hear the Charlie's threat because Renee took the phone out of my hand, winked at me and mouthed 'I got this'

'Hello Charlie…yes I know…I would know because I am her mother, but we just fell asleep…Charlie stop shouting…yes-wait-yes, she coming, bye.' Renee stabbed the end button so hard I thought if it had any feeling or emotion it would be in serious pain right now.

'What did he say?' I asked anxiously

She had her hands over her face so I couldn't see her expression. 'He wants you home, now. He was shouting at me for keeping you so late.' She didn't say anymore but I could tell there was more to it.

I got of the seat and stretched. 'Bye mum, can I see you again?' I asked timidly, she could say no and that would really hurt.

She ran and gave me a hug so tight I could barely breathe. 'Yes, yes!! I would really love that!!' I let out a sigh of relieve.

'I love you Bella, and you know that you can tell me anything right? I wont judge you; you're my special little girl, so if you have anything to tell me right now say it.' Her eyes bore into mine and it felt as if she knew what I was hiding something.

Should I tell her? She said she's not going to judge me, should I believe her? She my mum, I will tell her, that is why I came here after all, isn't it?

'Mum, your right, I do have something to say. Edward and'- I stopped mid sentence. Don't you hate it when you're watching a film or soap and someone has a big confession but they don't get to say because it's the end of the show or someone walked inside, well that's exactly what happened to me!!

Phil walked in, carrying a box of chocolate and red roses

* * *

**Hi!!! People, please review that's if you're reading, anyways it was snowing again in London and I was surprised to say it was actually heavy but the stupid mother fucker (Mine and Amanda's Head teacher) decided that children should still come to school!! Unbelievable, so cruel. All because she was in the military. Anyways, I wasn't so happy and the bus was moving so slow and then we finished at 2:00, but that's not really good news because we finished at 2:55, so what was the point? Anyways, Amanda and I was walking and I almost fell because of the snow so we decided to walk in the on field which was still white, then one of our friend threw a snow ball at us, which hit me more than it hit Amanda, then I got snow in my fucking shoes and I couldn't feel my foots, it was so painful and the people I call 'FRIENDS' were laughing at me. But still after having a bad day, I still updated so don't you think I deserve reviews?**

**Please review and name suggestions are still welcomed. **

**Sorry for any mistakes and sorry for the short chapter, I already started the next chapter and I decided if people review they get a teaser. God, I am in such a good mood today even though I had a bad day.**

**Sorry again for mistakes.**

**Ayo not Amanda**


	17. Getting back on track

**Swimming in the deep end**

Phil looked at me and Renee. A confuse look on his face when he noticed Renee's expression, if looks could kill. I was happy but on the inside, yeah, not so much. I was happy because…because I didn't have to tell her, I didn't have to see the disappointment on her face, I didn't want to see the hurt or anger, I just didn't want to see anything the would jeopardize our relationship. Sadness was slowly ripping me apart, should I still tell her? I don't have the courage to tell her, the burning sensation that made me want to tell her before was gone. Disappeared, vanished into thin air.

'Phil, you pick the _**right **_time to walk in didn't you?' Renee growled

'W-what did I do?' Phil asked looking between me and Renee, silently asking to be filled in on what he did that made her so mad.

'You' said Renee, pointing at Phil, 'I'll talk to you later, and Bella come, let's go talk outside.' She dragged me by the wrist and when we reached Phil, she slapped him on the chest, while shooting daggers at him.

We stopped by my truck and she leaned against the door, but not before commenting about it. 'I don't know why Charlie got you this, it a hazard. Seriously, I don't know what was going through his brain.' Renee never really like my truck, once she even referred to it as an 'ugly piece of shit', but she never said it to my face, more like mumbled it behind my back.

'Mum, I like my truck, thank you very much.' I laughed folding my arms across my chest. I was trying to avoid the dreadful conversation I knew was going to come any time soon onto a different topic. I hope it works.

Sighing she said, 'Bella, I know what you are trying to do, now tell me what you were saying before that fool came in.' Busted, it didn't work!!! No point beating around the bush.

I opened my mouth… 'Edward and I… we…um…we…haven't done anything, if that's what you are thinking.' Gosh, I chickened out. I looked down at my shoes, suddenly finding a strange interest in it. Renee sighed and stood in front of me, 'God, you don't know how relieve I am. I really thought that you were going to say that you two did it. But I trust you Bella I am so sorry I doubted you. Why don't you go home now, I don't want Charlie all up in my face, and you can come back anything time you want because Phil and I aren't leaving anytime soon, he likes it here.' She said giving me a hug.

I got in my truck and left with tears in my eyes. I thought she was going to understand if I told her, would she have lost it if I told her I did it? She looked so relieved, hell, she even said it. It's a good thing I didn't tell her, I didn't need to tell her, she'll never find out.

I got out of my truck and walked to the door, opened it and saw Charlie and Sue talking to each other. I couldn't help but smile as I noticed how cute they looked together.

Dad deserved to be happy because if I can forgive Renee why can't I just let my father be happy? He didn't do anything wrong.

'Hi!!' I said to both of them and I didn't miss the surprised look that flashed across their faces. Sue got up, and walked up to me and gave me a hug. I staggered lightly because that wasn't what I was expecting; I was expecting a formal introduction not a big hug.

'Hi, I'm Sue Clearwater. Charlie has told me a lot about you. Swimming in the Olympics, that's amazing.' She's bubbly, reminds me of Alice.

'Sorry about last night, I didn't mean to barge in.' I said blushing, she must think that I am crazy. 'So when did you and Charlie get together?' I asked looking at them.

I looked at Charlie and saw him look at me with amusement in his eyes. 'Erm… Bella, Sue and I aren't going out together, she's my lawyer, and she was just checking the papers with me.' Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing. I got it all wrong; I should have just listened to him yesterday. That's what he meant when he said 'I can explain' but I just didn't listen. I seem to be doing that a lot these days. Edward… would he still want me? Did I mess everything up?

I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and hotter, Sue didn't say anything, so I looked at her and her eyes sparkled with tears, her stance was rigid and I noticed she was clenching and unclenching her fists as if trying to resist the urge to punch something or someone; me. Charlie on the other hand, looked red, not from anger, he was embarrassed.

'Sorry, I just… I thought that since I saw you two together last night that you know…you were together.' I mumbled playing with my fingers.

'It's ok, I understand, but I want you to understand that I have no interest in anyone, not right now.' Sue said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. With that she walked to the door, grabbed her coat and walked out, as if in some type of trance.

Charlie stood there, staring at me; the look was penetrating, very intimidating. I ran to my room and got my phone and dialed Alice's number. I didn't once think of the possibility if Edward picking up because it wasn't his phone.

It rang 3 times then someone finally picked up.

'Hello.' A velvety voice rang in my ears.

Think fast Bella, think, and don't let him know it's you. 'Umm…sorry, wrong number!!' I said super fast praying that he didn't know it was me.

'Bella, it's that you?' He said, his sweet velvety voice was making my dizzy, gosh I missed him so much, and why am I acting stupid and wasting time when I could be spending it with my Edward. I am making a big deal out of nothing it's not like I'm pregnant.

Sighing I told him yes.

'Bella, have you been avoiding me?' he said with hurt in his voice.

'No, that's not true.' Lie!!! I lied, the true is I had been avoiding him since 'that' night but that's hard to do when he's your best friend's twin. 'I've just been training, you know for the swimming trails.' Since when did I become a good liar?

I have been avoiding his calls for the last 2 days so yeah I have been avoiding him.

We talked for a few minutes, briefly discussing what happened. I kept repeating that I was drunk, that I didn't know what I was doing and he kept telling how sorry he was, he didn't realize I'd be upset. He said he just assumed it was what I wanted too.

'But you didn't even ask me.' I reasoned.

'When could I have asked you? When we were kissing? When we were hugging? When we were… It's not as if you ever said no. You didn't tell me to stop!

'Okay, okay I get your point. Anyway, it must never, never happen again.'

Edward fell silent for a moment, then said, 'Okay for the moment, we take things slowly, but I really like you, Bella, and never is a long time…' As he said that his voice softened. I could imagine looking deep into his liquid green eyes and wanting to dive straight in. Did I really mean forever? I tried to stop the thoughts of having him kissing me senseless or having his arm, and shoulders roaming… Stop it Bella!!!!

This is hard. I just want my Edward back. I'm just making a big deal out of nothing.

'Edward, I'm sorry.' I said sincerely

'Love it's ok, I understand but I just thought it was what you wanted as well.' He said

'Edward, I'm so sorry for the times I ignored your calls but the truth was I was just looking for someone to blame this all on but it made me even more upset because I knew I couldn't blame it all on you but I just wanted to, I'm really sorry.' I am such a wimp!!

'Bella, why don't we forget all this and just start all over again and I promise we'll do everything your way.' He's such a gentleman.

'Fine, I like that Edward.' I couldn't contain the silly grin that broke across my face.

'Well, we could start again and I can take you to Calypso if you like or we can just go somewhere else.' He said and I noticed he sounded excited maybe even more excited than I am.

'Sure Calypso sounds great.'

'So, I'll pick you up tomorrow 8:00?'

'Sure,' is that the only word I know? 'Edward, why did you answer Alice's phone?' Alice would never let Edward answer her phone, she must have planned something.

'Ermm…she told me too, said you were going to call, don't ask me how she knew but she just knew so yeah.'

'Edward I have to go. Tell Alice I said thank you.' She got me and Edward back other and now we're starting over again, could things get any better?

'Bella…I love you.' He whispered. Things just got a whole lot better.

'I love you too, Edward.' I hung up. This couldn't get any more perfect.

**Unknown P.O.V~**

Bitch!!! I hate that girl!!!

They got back together, Edward is mine, I will get him back, and Bella Swan will not stand in my way. I'll go join them on their 'date' tomorrow and make it 10 times more interesting. It's good to have the right people behind you, you get all the info, Bella Swan, you better watch out… I'm going to rip you to shreds by the time I'm finished!

**Hi!!!**

**I have nothing to say, strange. **

**Oh well, please review and tell me if you want a teaser, for some reason it makes me write faster, anyway tell me who you think who that was that's going to try to ruin Bella and Edward's date.**

**Sorry for the mistakes and if I get enough reviews, I'll update faster. Thank!!**

**Ayo not Amanda**


	18. The perfect date?

**Swimming in the deep end**

I had a date with Edward. I couldn't help but feel ecstatic; right now I'm cloud nine. Things are going to go perfectly and we're going to start all over again. Perfect, what could go wrong?

I didn't sleep a wink last night, I had to much butterflies in my belly, my brain was still active, I couldn't get it to shut down!!!

After I finished talking to Edward, I had to call Alice again hoping that she would pick up and she did, and her first reaction when I told her everything that we said was: 'Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!! Shut up!!!' So like Alice. She was coming over today to help me get dress for the date, for the first time ever I didn't refuse when she offered to help me; I had to admit it she is an amazing fashion guru and I needed to look my best so Edward doesn't turn me down when we get there.

The door bell rang and I ran down stair, yes I actually ran, and throw the door open and Alice skipped in. She turned around to face me and let out a big squeal.

'Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Bella. This is amazing. Come on, we have a lot to do.' She squealed dragging me upstairs.

We ran to my room and Alice got the dress I was going to wear from the bag. It was amazing, simple, but sexy not in the trying too hard way but the right type of sexy. It was black, short and looked like the type of dress that would make anyone with out a figure look stunning. I really like this dress!!

Alice straightened my hair so it was left hanging just below my waist. She was in a good mood because she decided that I could wear a pair of black shoes, with no heels!!

She didn't bother much with my make up because she said 'She didn't want me to look too eager for Edward' and I was sitting there thinking what the hell, I do want to look eager!!!! So she applied minimum make up on me using just a bit of eyeliner, mascara and pink lip gloss.

'Bella, are you getting the check up?' Alice asked. Honestly, it hasn't really been on my mind, check-up or not I felt fine and I'm pretty sure Edward is fine as well.

'Alice, honestly it hasn't really been on my mind.'

'It would be a good idea if you get a check, you know, just to be on the safe side.' She said continuing my make up.

We didn't say anything a minute or two and I didn't like that. Alice is usually bubbled and this is the first time I've seen her so quite.

* * *

'Gosh Alice, that was torture!!' I sighed dramatic, no, it wasn't really bad, but I still wanted to keep my image as the girl that hates been dressed up by Alice Cullen.

'Oh be quite, you know it's not that bad.' She said with a smug smile. Damn she knew what I was thinking.

As soon as we finished, the door bell rang and I walked down the stairs. Taking a deep breath in and trying not to have a panic attack, I opened the door and Edward stood there, with a bunch of flowers. He looks so sexy wearing that black shirt, which showed off his nice muscular arms and had the first 2 bottoms, opened showing his alabaster skin and had a dark coat on. He had dark jeans which completed the whole simple but stylish look Edward is always going for.

'Wow Bella, you look…amazing.' He said with a gentle smile.

'Hi. Thanks' I said eagerly.

'I believe we have a date to get to.' he smiled holding his hand out for me to take.

'Yes, I believe we do.' I couldn't stop the goofy smile that formed on my face. Hand in hand we walked to the car and he opened the door for me like a gentleman.

He got in and put the key in the ignition and the car purred to life.

Alice's words suddenly rang in my ears and the smile on my face fall.

I fidgeted with my hands and kept gnawing on my bottom lip.

Edward threw side glances at me maybe trying to see why I was suddenly very quite.

'Bella are you okay?' he asked, concern laced in his voice.

'Umm…yeah!!'I whispered.

'Are you sure?' he so persistent.

'Actually Edward, I talked to someone and they think that it would be a good idea if we go to the doctor for umm…a check up.' There, said it all. I know Alice and I are been paranoid but Edward and I are starting a new relationship, I need to know that things are going perfectly.

'Love, if that's what you want.' He didn't look at me and I noticed that his knuckles were white, so I quickly said, 'Not that I think that you have any disease or stuff but you know. Just making sure, Edward I trust you and I want this relationship to be perfect, you know, new beginning.' I reached out and stroked his cheek ignoring the jolt of electricity that ran through my hand.

'OK, love.' I knew he still didn't approve but I knew he was going to do it.

We arrived at Calypso and I was surprise to see that so many people were there, waiting to get in.

'Edward, there's a lot of people here; you do notice that we're going to have to go to the back of the line.' It looks like our perfect date isn't going off to a great start.

'Bella, Love, you should have more faith in me.' He said with a smirk.

We walked to the door but we instantly came to a halt because the security guard didn't let us in.

'Reservation!' The guy said in a deep voice

Edward looked at me and winked, then pulled out some kind of card. Before I could make out what was on the card the guy gave it back to Edward.

We walked in, and the woman on the podium came to give us our sits.

Calypso seems different for some reason.

We sat down so I decided to ask Edward what all that was about.

'Edward, how did you manage to book a reservation so quickly? I mean its Calypso we're talking about, even the richest people can't get in here so how did you?' I knew we were going to Calypso but because I was so busy with trying to look perfect I didn't remember that you needed to have reservations to get into Calypso. I don't know hoe Edward got us in here the last time, but I had an amazing time.

'Simple, you have to be a Cullen.' He said with a sly smile.

I motioned with my hand for him to explain what he meant but he didn't say anything.

We sat in silence for a while, just looking through the menu so I decided to pick something cheap because Calypso may have great food, but it certainly isn't cheap.

When the food arrived, Edward started eating like a kid that hasn't been fed in years. All I could do is just look at him in amazement and shock. This is a behavior I would expect from Emmett (Edward's brother).

'Edward, I having the swimming trial in 2 weeks and I am hoping that you might want to come?' I really want Edward to go, and I would be really disappointed if he said no.

'I would love to come.' I smiled at him, but then suddenly remembered that I invited Renee as well. I pushed the thought out of my head and decided to just enjoy tonight.

We ate and talked for a while, everything is going perfect, we may have had a bump along the road before but things are going smoothly.

'LET ME IN!!! I WANT TO SEE HIM!!!' A voice came from out side, Edward and I turned to see what was going on and so did everyone else. A young girl was arguing and pushing the woman on the podium.

Unfortunately for the woman she wasn't strong enough to hold the girl. The girl broke free from the woman and her eyes surveyed the room and finally landed on Edward. She looked terrible, tears streaming down her contorted face. She wore tight PVC trousers that looked as though they had been painted on her body and black mesh top, with a black bra underneath.

She started walking toward Edward not even noticing me but the woman from the podium grabbed her arms.

'Miss, we're sorry but you have to go. Please.' The woman pleaded trying to drag her out but the girl wasn't having it.

'He's mine and I got a right to see him!!' She pushed the woman then all hell broke loose.

'I knew it, I knew it,' she cried, lunging at Edward, he sidestepped her and as she spun around, she caught sight of me. Our eyes locked. Before I knew what was happening she threw herself on me. One of her hands was gripping my arm and the other was hooked into my dress. RIPPPPPP.

I tried to get her off me but she was like a mad woman. It took Edward, the woman from the podium and a Good Samaritan to get her off me.

'C'mon Amanda, behave yourself, c'mon calm down,' Edward said.

The woman tried to drag her again but the girl pushed the woman…again.

I bought my hand to my face and realized she'd scratched me. I was seething. The anger in me was bubbling.

'Don't you ever, EVER, come near me again,' I hissed.

That set her off again, but Edward was holding on to her tightly this time. The woman ran and called the security guy to come take her out. He carried her screaming and shouting on his shoulder.

'This is unbelievable,' I said fingering the rip in my dress.

'Bella, I'm sorry. Look this wasn't meant to happen.' Edward tried to hug me.

'Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't. Cut the nonsense and just take me home.'

In the car, Edward went into one trying to explain to me that Amanda meant nothing to him. 'She's like a stalker, Bella. She just won't leave me alone.'

I throw questions at him, from all different direction: How long had he known her? Did she mean anything to him? Had he kissed her?

The pause was enough. I tried to get out of his car, but he held me back. 'Look, Bella, I can't help it if other girls fancy me. But I'm not interested in them. It's you I want, and nothing or no one's ever gonna separate us, right?'

Too bad- I was gone!

I'll call him if I decide to forget the embarrassing ordeal.

**Unknown P.O.V~**

Great, that went…Perfectly!!

Edward is mine!! I will have him and Bella Swan isn't going to stand in my way!!

Graduation is coming Bella, you better watch out. Everything is going to blow up in your face!!!

**Hi!!!**

**So Amanda, before you get upset, or threaten me like you did in Science, the Amanda in this chapter, isn't you. I repeat that the Amanda in this chapter isn't you. It **_**could**_** be the other Amanda in my form class for all you know, so don't do something you're going to regret.**

**If you enjoyed the chapter, please review and let me know and if you want a teaser say it in the review.**

**Bye**

**Ayo not Amanda (Ok, it's never ever going to be Amanda, it always going to be Ayo, so yeah!!)**

**Oh yeah… sorry for the mistakes!!**


	19. Swimming trials

**Swimming in the deep end**

It's been 2 week since what happened at the restaurant and I decided 3 days after what happened at the restaurant that, a crazy girl isn't going to come between Edward and me, so we're still going out and are stronger than ever. Of course, Alice wasn't happy when I returned a ripped dress but placed all the blame on Edward.

We had the check up and everything came back negative, so I am very happy. Renee and I are hanging out even more than we used to when she lived with Charlie, I know it doesn't make sense how that's possible but it's the truth, I feel like our relationship grew stronger. She even designed a room for me at her house so we can have 'sleepovers.'

Graduation is in 2 months **(I trying to move things faster, so sorry if it's too fast and incorrect, because I don't want people nagging me that it's the wrong info) **and I am so nervous. Things are getting more hectic and poor Alice is trying to juggle a graduation party in with a wedding (which on one asked her to do but she just wanted to). Things are going perfe… no I am not saying that word because the last time I said it, things went the opposite direction. Edward and I now have something we didn't have in the pervious relationship: trust. We lacked that, and every relationship needs trust in order to last and survive heart ache. We know things about each other that we didn't know before and I learned more about Edward's past girlfriends even though I didn't want to, I felt the need in case one of them decided to jump on me again, I even learnt that he went out with Lauren!! Now I know why she doesn't like me.

Something big is happening to me today: swimming trials. I am so excited but at the same time I was crippled with fear. What if I mess up? Then all those people who thought that I would be going to Malaysia will be laughing at me behind my back, but Renee always told me 'It doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you believe in yourself, you'll do amazing.' Today I am going tot take her advice and put it into action.

It was 2:00pm, and the trials starts at 3:30, so Edward, Alice should be downstairs waiting for me.

I packed my bag with all my swimming necessities and descended downstairs.

Yup!! Edward and Alice were there, alright, but so were Rosalie and Emmett. This isn't going to end well with Emmett here; the guy is always finding a way to embarrass me. Also Rosalie can't last a second without throwing insults at me. Alice has been nagging me all week that she wants to design my swimming costume, so I closed my eyes, so I wouldn't have to see her bright green orbs glistening with tears and I said no. But I am still pretty sure she designed a costume for me and will be nagging me to wear it even though I am wearing one right now. And Edward…Edward is going to be the only one in the car that's not going to be driving me mad. He's the perfect boyfriend (yes I know I said perfect) and even though I haven't told him yet, I believe we're going to last for a really long time!!

I hope I just didn't jinx our relationship by saying that.

After exchanging our pleasantries it was time for me to get down to business. We walked to Edward's Volvo and I wondered how the car was going to fit all of us; after all Emmett is here isn't he?

I was riding shotgun and Emmett, Alice and Rosalie would have to fit them selves in the back sit.

Every thing was quite in the car, Alice was doing something on Edward's blackberry(the one I got him) Rosalie had her head on Emmett's shoulder, her left hand placed on her lap so you could see the tiny but beautiful diamonds on her ring finger. Edward was driving but had his right hand entwined with mine.

'So…Bella, you and Eddie, together?' Emmett said with a smirk, Alice stopped whatever she was doing on her phone and looked at Emmett with one eyebrow raised, and before Edward could say anything about the fact that Emmett called him Eddie, the name he absolutely loath, Rosalie already slapped him on the back of the head.

'Emmett, what did I tell you, don't mess with me. I warned you before!!' Rosalie said glaring at Emmett who instantly shut up. Do they know something I don't?

'Well…I just don't want Edward trying anything with Bella. She's my little sis; I don't want Edward leaving her when it gets a little rough.' Emmett said looking down at his lap, _trying _to look innocent. I looked down blushing.

'Yeah, Emmett's right. When things get bad, that's when the man leaves the girl.' Alice said joining the conversation.

'I would never let Emmett leave me, no matter how tough things are.' Rosalie stated.

This surprised me; if the relationship wasn't working out she wouldn't allow him to leave? So she's willing to go though all that pain just to keep a guy.

'So, if you were to get pregnant and things weren't working between you two, you wouldn't let the guy go?' I asked

'No, because he needs to man-up, I'm not going to be stuck at home looking after a baby that someone help create while the guy is at a club having the time of his life. No I have my own career and I am surely not wasting it on a baby.' She stated confidently, that's the thing that I admired about her; she's always got an answer to every question even if they're wrong, she's just so sure.

Smirking Alice said, 'So Emmett, if you got our dear Rosalie pregnant, would you stay with her?'

Emmett looked at Rosalie then smiled at Alice; he didn't see the least bit intimidated by the question.

'Of course I would. I love Rosalie and if we did have problems I just wouldn't leave the her and the child; we'll work things out, together, after all if I didn't love her I wouldn't have proposed to her. Beside I'm not that stupid, you see in bed she does amazing thing with her…' Alice cut him off, saving us all from hearing the terrible statement he was about to make. Same old Emmett, there he goes saying something so romantic then suddenly ruin it with a stupid comment.

Things got quite again, until Edward who had been quite through out the whole conversation said, 'That's something I can never do, stay away from my child. If I have a child I would keep in contact. I think it's important.' He didn't look at anyone, not even me, he just keep his eyes on the road.

Rosalie snorted, 'That's what they all say.'

The minute we arrived I rushed out the car and ran straight into the changing room. After changing I walked out and saw mum. I rushed over to her and gave her a hug. I had this unsettling feeling in my stomach; something is going to happen between Renee and Edward.

'How are you, Bella?' Mum asked.

'How are _you_?' I replied.

Mum held out her hands and smiled. 'I feel fine. I know you're going to win. I can feel it. Just hit the water and go for it. That reminds me, is that Edward boy here?' She patted my arm and walked off looking around for someone probably Edward. This isn't good.

Unfortunately for Edward, Renee spotted him talking to Emmett and dragged him away. Poor Edward.

* * *

Standing on the starting block, I could feel the electricity in the air as the crowd held its breath, waiting. The adrenaline coursed through my veins and I was entirely focused on the race. No Edward, no Renee, just the race. I had to win!

The minute I hit the pool it was as if I had been charged with super strength batteries; I cut through the water like a speed boat, leaving the other competitors in my wake. I pushed towards the finish, reaching towards the wall, and in the final few seconds I realized the race was mine.

It was almost unreal. I climbed out the water and looked around me. High up in the crowd I caught sight of mum and Edward, Renee was jumping up and down and waving her arms like crazy along with Alice. Rosalie had a small smile on her face and she too was clapping. Edward locked eyes with me and winked.

Then it hit me. I was now officially one of America's representatives for the 100 metres freestyle!!!!!

**Hi!!!**

**Amanda if you're reading this I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry, we're still friends right?**

**The next chapter is the graduation where things are going to go wrong, I think. I not too sure, I know it's not going to be happy news. I'm still not sure what name I'm going to use for Bella's child so suggestions are still welcome.**

**I hope you like this chapter and if you want a teaser I'll send it you, but don't expect it too soon because I have a project that I need to do (I am pretty sure I'm already doing it wrong so I really need to concentrate but if you want it say it in a review and I'll send it to you soon.)**

**Please review and I might update soon. Thanks!!!**

**Ayo not Amanda**

**Sorry if there's any mistakes**


	20. Party

**Swimming the deep end**

I can't believe it!!

I am one of America's representatives for 100 meters freestyle, even though it's been nearly 2 months I still couldn't get over the fact that I am going to be in the Olympic Games!! Things are great!! Every where I turn, I have people congratulating me on my success, even people I don't know kept coming to me and greeting me and I must admit it's a bit over whelming. Renee is ecstatic, so happy that things didn't turn out the way it turned out for her. Charlie couldn't come to the trial because he had work, and I knew he was a little sad but tried not to show it. You see, Charlie is not a man of many words nor is he good with showing emotions but when he got home and I told him I made it through, he broke down and cried, told me he love me and that I made him the happiest dad in the world.

Alice was happy as well, mainly because she said she's going to design my costume for the Games. Edward was happy as well, because the day after the trials, he took me to some fancy restaurant where we had a great time, then after we went back to his place and cuddled up in his bedroom watching white chicks, I know White chicks isn't his favorite film but being the perfect gentleman he didn't complain or moan through out the entire film.

Training is harder now; I practice almost every day, that I barely have the strength to do any other activities, but as Renee once told me _'it's all about balance.'_

Edward and I are growing stronger every single day, and we know basically every thing about each other!! We trust each other more; well in my case I trust Edward more. Edward is everything I always wanted and fantasize for in a guy: he's sweet, caring, gentlemanly and perfect!!

School, we finally finished all our exams and graduation is just a few days away. Alice has finished planning the party and everyone has been invited, but for some reason, I couldn't stop the strange feeling that coursed through my stomach, like something bad is going to happen…

Silly me.

Graduation~

Today is the day. Graduation. The day everyone has been looking forward to, a day most people are not going to be a part of because they dropped out, but who could blame them, High school is no joke. But if you learn how to toughen it out, you'll make it. It's still hard to believe, the day is finally here, all my hard work finally paid off. Renee and Charlie are going to be there. They both said they weren't going to miss this day for anything in the world.

I checked the clock, 3:30pm, my palms were sweaty, in less than 30mins, and I'll be in school getting my diploma.

I walked across my room and stood in front of my full length mirror, something that has became a daily routine. I stared at my self then turned side way so I could have a better look at my stomach, which I noticed was getting bigger and bigger everyday. Am I not exercising properly? I eat all my fruits and vegetable and some times I even manage to throw in a bit of McDonald but that's beside the point. My belly is getting bigger and even though other people may not notice it, I do. Am I getting fat? That can't be possible, I swim almost everyday, I should be burning calories.

A while back, I did notice that my belly and hip was getting bigger but I thought nothing of it, but now I think it's safe for me to worry. This might sound strange to any other person, worrying over the fact that they seem to be putting on a little bit of weight, but because I'm a swimmer, I'm not meant to put on unnecessary weight.

_I gonna have to pay the Gym a visit…_

Suddenly, I felt a familiar wave of nausea wash over me and I ran straight to the bathroom. Throwing up is not a stranger to me any more. Happens almost every day but I can't afford to be sick today; today of all day. I rinsed my mouth and walked back to my room. I lay my head on my pillow and waited for Charlie to get back from work so he could drive me to Graduation, not that I can't drive myself but he just choose to. My eyes started to spin and soon again I felt the rest my lunch starting to make its way back up my mouth. I barely made it to the bathroom. This really isn't good, throwing up on a really important day, could this get any worse?

After washing my mouth again, I heard Charlie closing the front door.

Because my voice was hoarse from all the puking and gagging when I tried to greet Charlie, it felt as though my throat had been scraped with a rusty knife. In other words, it was painful to speak.

'Bella, are you alright?' Charlie said.

'Yeah, I just threw up again.' Charlie knows that I have been throwing up and he keeps insisting that I should go to the doctors to see if anything is wrong with me, but I keep insisting that I'm fine and that when I get to Malaysia, they are going to give everyone a test to see if they're alright, but to be honest I don't even know if that's true. I just don't want to go to the doctor.

Sighing he started talk, 'Bella, you know how I feel about this situation; go to the doctor, they'll prescribe some kind of medicine for your symptoms and soon you'll be fine. I don't know why you're making a big deal about going the doctor and I'm starting to think that you like vomiting.' When he finished I couldn't help but glare at him; who likes vomiting?

'Let' go.' I said, not want to have **another** row on this day, if there's one thing I can say about Charlie is that he is very persistent. We keep fighting about the same thing over and over.

'You look nice.' He mumbled suppression any emotion from his voice, as we entered his cruiser. Remind me again why I decided to let Charlie drive me to Graduation in his Police cruiser?

Oh yeah, I know now_, 'all parents should be able to drive their children to Graduation and because we live in same house it'll be easier instead of turning up in two different cars'_, that was the excuse Charlie managed to put together when he found out that I was planning to ride with Edward.

'Thanks.' I mumbled back, showing him that I'm still upset.

When we got to the school parking lot, I noticed that Charlie parked right next to Carlisle's Mercedes (Edward's dad).

I saw Edward standing next Emmett so I decided to join them.

'Are you alright?' Edward whispered to me as he pulled me in for a hug. Why are people asking if I'm alright, I am not sick (well, I don't think that I am)

'I'm fine.' I answered, breathing in his heavenly scent.

'You are so beautiful,' he said.

He looked like he wanted to say more but when he noticed Charlie approaching he stopped and pulled me gently out of the warm embrace.

Charlie stood next to me and asked, 'Am I excited?'

Honestly, I really don't know, so I lied praying that Charlie would believe it.

'Extremely.'

'Yeah you should be. You are graduating from high school, moving on to bigger things. Swimming in Malaysia…You're not my little girl anymore. You're growing up.' He choked up a bit at the end.

'Dad,' I warned. 'Don't go all teary on me.'

'Teary? Who's teary?' He said, recomposing him self.

'That's more like it!!' I said hugging him; like I said before he doesn't like showing emotions.

Charlie and the rest of the Cullen had to leave, so they could get to the hall.

Edward and I began to walk but I noticed that Alice wasn't with us. 'Edward where is Alice?'

'She's already in the Gym, handing out invites to people.' We entered the Gym and I saw Alice waving at us like crazy. Sighing, Edward bent down and gave a quick kiss before going to join her.

'Bella!'

I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the line. Mrs. Cope, the secretary, came and pulled my hand and led me behind Jessica.

'Hi!!' she said again and all I did was look at her with wary expression. Is she bi-polar or something, the girl don't like me so why is she being nice?

'Umm…hey?' It sounded more like a question.

'You are still going to Alice's party aren't you?' she asked smirking.

'Yeah, I guess. It's not like I can ditch it even if I wanted to, Alice will kill me.' Alice has been begging me to come and when I said no just to see her reaction, she turned violent.

'Good, good, I wouldn't want you to miss a **really**,** really** remarkable day. It's been planned specially for you.' The smirk on her face turned into a grimace and when she turned around I saw her wink at Lauren Mallory.

I shrugged my shoulders, forgetting what she had said.

When we had our robes on we marched and took our sits, then the valedictorian, Josh, had to talk what ever nonsense he's meant to be talking. Not long after, Principal Cooke (hehehe, I don't even know why I picked that name) started calling the names; one after the other.

I watch Alice and Edward get up to get their diplomas with huge smiles on their beautiful faces and Esme looked like she was shedding a few tears.

When Mr. Cooke called my name, I took a deep breathe, then plastered a smile on my face and walked to the line and got my diploma. **(I don't know what Graduation is really like but when I was in Primary school, that's how we did it)**. From the back of the hall, I could hear cheering and whooping. I turned and saw Renee standing in between Charlie and Phil. It didn't look like there was any tension between the 3 of them, so that's good.

When the list of names was completed, we all stood in a line and threw our hats in the air, cheering as we watched them fall to the ground. To say that I was happy would be an understatement; I managed to survive Graduation with out even vomiting.

Jessica turned and looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. 'Oh Bella…' was all she said before running over to Lauren. Okay, that was weird.

Friends and families began to get up and look for their kids.

I spotted Charlie, Renee and Phil standing at the back, where there weren't a lot of people. Phil had a ray ban on which was covering a large proportion of his face.

I walked over to them and was pulled into a hug by Renee.

'Oh baby, you did it!! I am so proud of you.' She cried stroking my cheeks. 'You've made me the proudest mother ever and soon you're g-going to…M-Malaysia, to live your dream. I am so glad that you didn't let anything get in your way.' Her words touched me; deep. She does look proud; she's practically glowing with joy.

She pulled back, wiping her eyes with her thump, making her mascara smudge slightly.

Charlie came next and pulled me in a hug but didn't say anything. I could tell the man was crying but I decided not to say a thing. Then about a minute or two later, he released me; sniffing silently as he did.

'Bella, this is Phil. I know you two met once but I'll like to introduce you properly.' Renee said with the biggest smile I've ever seen. He makes her happy, so no need to be hostile to him like I planned to do a few weeks ago when I found out she was planning to bring him.

'Nice to meet you.' Keep it short and simple, I thought to myself.

'Nice to meet you, too. Renee's been talking non stop about you and congratulations on your swimming success. .' He said smiling.

'So Bella where's Edward?' Renee likes Edward now, even though she won't admit it. After the little talk they had at the Swimming Trial, when ever she asks about him, she's always got this smile on her face. I tried to ask Edward what they talked about but as stubborn as he is, he wouldn't tell me anything.

As soon as Renee finished her sentence, Edward appeared by my side. The rest of the Cullen followed as well.

'Bella congratulations.' Esme said hugging me.

'Thank you.' I couldn't help but hug her back; she's just got this motherly feeling towards everyone.

'Bella!! High school is over!!' Alice shouted bouncing up and down.

'Yeah, I know!!' I smiled, high school really is over.

'I remember when I finished High school…' Emmett stated looking at the ceiling probably daydreaming.

'Come on, we have a party to attend!!!!!' Emmett shouted, causing every other graduates in the hall to scream.

The Cullen's house was transformed into a place that looks like it can only be achieved in movies. Oh yeah, did I mention that Edward's family are stinking rich? Well if I didn't they are. They are loaded with money!!!

People were talking, drinking and dancing, wait did I say dancing, I mean grinding on each other. I had to say, Alice does know how to throw a good party; people look like they're enjoying themselves. Edward disappeared a while ago, saying he was getting us another us, but thinking about it he's been gone for a while now.

I got up and started looking around, I even asked some people, well the ones that weren't drunk or too busy sucking each other faces off. But no one knew where he was. I couldn't find Alice; she's probably too busy with Jasper. (Rosalie's twin)

Well, Emmett wouldn't be off any help to me sine I can't even find him and I don't plan on trying to find him; Lord knows what I might find.

I finally decided to just give up and just wait for him to come back. Edward is a big boy; he knows how to take care of himself, Bella, so no need to worry.

Right (!)

I sat down in a corner watching the people 'dancing' and swapping spits. Not the best view.

Suddenly someone stood in front of me. I looked up and Jessica was smiling at me holding her drink.

'Bella, you okay?' Jessica is being too nice to me. She's probably up to no good.

So I just ignored her, hoping she'll get the message and just disappear. Sighing, she sat next to me. Gosh, can't she see, I DON'T WANT HER HERE!

'If you're not going to say hi, then I'm not going to tell you where Edward is.'' She said smugly whilst taking a sip from her drink.

'Where is he?' Curiosity got the better of me and so did relief. Edward is alright.

'I'll take that as your way ad saying hi. Anyways, I saw him heading up to his bedroom with some girl. Good luck.' With that, she got up and went to join a couple of guys.

What's Edward doing with another girl? Edward isn't going to cheat on me, is he?

No, he's not, it's probably Alice. Yeah, Alice. That's it. Alice. But... why don't I just make sure it is her, you know. It's not as through I'm spying. No, just checking on my boyfriend. I trust him!

_I trust him! I trust him! I trust him! I trust him! I trust him! I trust him! I trust him!_ I chanted to my self as I walked up the stairs, which was decorated with drunken kids, moaning, groaning and just snoring away as though they were in their bed room. Fuckers.

I got to Edward's door and suddenly my heart sped up.

'_Don't open the door!'_ I shouted to myself.

I hadn't made up my mind up yet, but then I heard voices and giggling coming from inside. I pressed my ear against his door so I could hear well.

'Oh, yes, Edward! Yes, right there!' even though, the voices were a little muffled I could still hear that the person was moaning.

'You like that, baby?' The masculine, velvety voice I knew so well came. Edward? Oh my God! Oh my God! My breathing sped up again and my eyes became blurry. I suddenly couldn't breathe. Edward is cheating? My Edward?

'Oh, yes that's it!' Again one of them moans, I didn't know which one, it didn't matter. Edward is cheating on me. Everything we've been through was all a lie.

Edward Cullen doesn't love me, he lied.

Suddenly, the door was pulled open and Lauren Mallory came out wearing one of Edward's t-shirt.

My breathing came out in short, uneven gasps and my vision was becoming more and more blurry. My heart hurts; its feel like someone was slowly ripping it from body, savoring all the pain crashing through my body.

'Hello, Bella!!' she snidely.

**Sorry if there's any mistakes. I am watching Eastenders. But at least I updated.**

**Oh if you'll like a teaser please say!!**


	21. Party part II

**Swimming in the deep end**

I couldn't talk so I just stood there crying my eyes out.

'When someone says hi; you have to say hi back, Bella.' She said as though she was talking to a four year old. 'But then I forgot people like you aren't taught any manners. Oh and yes, that is Edward in there.' She said smiling.

'I told you to stay away. No one messes with me and gets away with it. I warned you before but you just didn't listen. Edward Cullen IS mine!' she snarled pointing a finger at her chest.

My mind was jumbled up, the only thing I could comprehend was the fact that Edward is cheating.

With Lauren.

'W-why?' I managed to choke out, hoping that she'd be able to hear my over the booming music. I need an answer.

'Why?' she mused, as if hearing the word for the first time. 'Umm…why? Why not? Why not mess around with you? Why not get my boyfriend back? Why not have a little fun?' she asked smiling that horrible malicious smile of hers.

'This… this is your idea of fun?' I shouted a bit while pointing at Edward's door.

'Well Bella, I'd love to stay and chat but I need to get back to MY man.' She said smugly.

I watched her walk through the door. I could have done something to stop her; pull her hair and start a bitch fight or even follow her back into Edward room, but instead I just let her walk back in there. I'm an idiot.

What is wrong with me? I should have done something. Find out why Edward cheated. A painful pang coursed through my body. Edward…is cheating. The two words together sounded strange.

I didn't even realize that I was even walking until I bumped into a very drunk Mike Newton.

'B-Bella!!' He shouted out, swaying slightly from side to side, holding a plastic cup which obviously contained alcohol.

'Hi.' I whispered wiping a tear from my eye.

'Are you c-crying?' he slurred again.

'No!' I whispered harshly. 'Just leave me alone!'

'Y-you know, w-when… w-when I cry I have a friend that makes me feel better!' he said nodding his head.

Annoyed now, I said, 'Good for you.'

'Let me introduce it to you!' He said pointing at his drink. 'Vodka, meet Bella. Bella, meet Vodka. A very good friend of mine.' Despise my mood, I couldn't help but laugh.

'Go on, take a sip. Then you can tell me all about your problem. I can be your Agony aunt!' he stated smiling.

Without even a second thought, I brought the cup to my lips and welcomed the burning sensation. It didn't take long before I finished the drink.

'B-Bella!!' Mike whined. 'We're meant to share but now you've finished it! No fair!' He slurred, stomping his feet. Drinking does make people do some stupid things.

_Yeah, Like the time when you had sex with Edward…_

'Mike, let's get another drink.'

'That's the Bella I've been looking for.'

*** * ***

5 cups later and I guess it's safe to say that I was equally as drunk as Mike.

'Men are jerks! You give them your heart and what do they do? Rip it into tiny pieces then stomp on it!' I shouted out of the blue, a few people who managed to stay a little bit sober turn around to stare at me as though I was mad.

'I wouldn't do that!' Mike said, rolling back and forth on his chair. 'I would cherish that girl because that's what a good guy is meant to do.' Aww! He may be drunk but he sounds so caring.

_He's cute!_

'Mike…I wanna go upstairs, too crowded here!'

_What! Bella what are you saying!_

The reasonable side of me shouted! But the truth is if, I didn't listen to it before then Edward wouldn't be in the room with that ass-wipe! If I could satisfy him and not worry about getting pregnant then Edward would still be with me. So I'm through with listening to my 'reasonable side.'

'God! I thought you'd never ask!' Slowly, we got up from the chair and tried not to bump into other drunks people.

As we walked upstairs, I noticed Jessica had something hidden behind her back and when she saw me, she smirked at Mike and I. The girl's just plain weird.

After checking most rooms, we finally found one that was unoccupied.

_This is not a good idea Bella!_

'So…' Mike started saying and as he did, he moved closer to and the strong smell of alcohol was rolling off him.

'Bella –y-you're really HOT. With a capital 'H', so can I kiss you?'

I don't know if I replied or if I was even going to but suddenly I could feel his lips pressing hard on mine. His hands began to roam my back and the stench of alcohol began to get unbearable. I may not have the vest knowledge in the department if kissing but I can confidently say that this kiss is awful.

_Nothing like Edward's. _My reasonable side shouted.

_Come on Bella, you can do better than Mike Newton.!_

_Shut up!_ I shouted in my mind.

As I was having internal battle with my 'reasonable' side, I didn't register the fact that we've changed position, but suddenly I was lying on my back with my Mike straddling me. His lips were rough and fast. He was all over my face but I didn't even complain, why should I?

Edward's having fun, so why can't I?

He started fumbling with the zip on my dress and after a few minutes he manages to get it off.

_Bella, stop this!! This isn't right!!!_

He sucks my earlobe, and then moved on to my neck, planting it with wet kisses.

_Bella!! Stop it, now!!_

His hands went to the back of my bra and soon again, he start to fumble with it.

_Bella don't do this!! Don't be like Edward! Do the right thing! Don't end up regretting this!!_

_Don't be like Edward! _

Just as he managed to unhook my bra, I pushed him off and he landed on the floor. It didn't feel right, the drinks was clouding my judgments. Mike isn't the one I want. Sure I want to get back at Edward but it doesn't feel right.

'Mike…Please, get out!' I whispered, while running a hand through my knotty hair.

A look of disbelieve settled on his face. 'Don't pretend like you weren't enjoying that.'

'Mike, please just get out.'

'What's all this shit about! I didn't push you to come in here, you suggested it and now you want me to leave!?' He said, finally getting up.

'Mike, please. Just leave me alone!'

He walked up to me and stood right in my face, his nose almost touching mine. 'Bitch!' He snarled then he turned and walked out the door.

Sighing, long and slow, I hooked my bra back on and rested my head on the pillow. This party really sucks! That's the last thing I remember thinking about before I fell asleep.

*******

'Bella! Wake up. NOW!' Alice voice woke me up. Wiping my eyes, I looked around the room, the bed was messed up and my dress from yesterday was lying on the floor.

'Come down stairs, now!' She said not making eye contact.

'Gosh, Alice what's the matter with you?'

She ignored my question and just walked out the door. Pulling on my dress quickly, I followed her down stairs. People were now lying on the floor drunk but the party was still going on.

'Alice, what is the matter!?' I asked bewilderedly

'What's wrong?' I asked again but all she did was stare at my face.

'Why?' She asked with a scowl on her face.

'What?' I asked

'Bella, how could you!! How could you do that to my brother?' Alice shouted causing everyone to turn around and look at us.

'How could I! Alice, what are you talking about?' I asked feeling extremely confuse.

She looked murderous, very, very scary. 'You and that that THING!!' She shouted, again attraction more attention.

'What thing?' Can she try to make a little bit of sense?

'Don't think I didn't see you two going in there, TOGETHER!!' She yelled, throwing her little hands around.

'Alice, you've got it all wrong!!' I pleaded to her, finally understanding why she was ballistic but like I said before, she's got it all wrong.

'How dare you! Don't even lie to me, because I know perfectly well what I saw!'

'Alice what's going on?' Rosalie quietly asked Alice, a tiny smirk appearing on her face.

'Well, why don't you ask Bella and find out for your self!' she shouted stabbing a finger in my direction.

'Alice, nothing happened.' I said calmly.

'How dare you! Are you trying to say that I'm blind? Because I know perfectly well what I saw!'

The music in the background faded away and now everyone was staring at Alice and me.

'Alice, what is it?' Rosalie asked.

'Well, since she won't say it, I will. She cheated on Edward! With Mike Newton!' Gasps filled the room and soon Jasper and Emmett (Alice's boyfriend and brother) came in view and walked over to her.

'Alice, that's not true! Technically Edward and I'- she cut me off so I couldn't finish my sentence.

'I saw you two! I saw you Bella, don't deny it! Bella you were my friend but you betrayed my brother. So, do us all a favor and get out!' She shouted

'Now, now Alice, don't do that.' Emmett said and walked to my side, offering me a small smile.

Alice looked as though she had just been slapped. 'Emmett, I saw her! I saw them two, kissing!'

'Well, how do you know something truly happened between them?' Emmett defended me.

'Emmett, I saw it! Someone showed me the video!' She shouted angrily.

Before Emmett could reply, Lauren decided it would be best if she butt in. 'Well, I always knew Bella was a slut!'

'Shut up!' I shouted glaring at her.

'Come on Bella, you and I both know I'm not lying!'

'You don't know anything about me!' Tears welled up in my eyes.

'Edward was always out of your league but come on, Mike Newton? Even you can do better than that!' She said with a look of disgust on her face.

Walking forward and closing the gap between both of us, I looked straight into her eyes, searching to see if an actual human actually existed in her.

'Are you satisfied?' I asked.

Smiling she said, 'Immensely!'

I opened my mouth to say something but then my stomach to gurgle and the next thing I knew, I had vomited on Lauren's shoes.

Lauren's scream fill the room.

'Bella, you ok?' I felt Emmett hand on my back, trying to soothe me.

But I couldn't speak. The smell of the vomit was making me feel sick even more.

'Bella?' He called again.

Nothing more was coming up, but I still felt sick.

'Come on Bella, Let's get you home.'

'Emmett, come back!' Rosalie hissed but Emmett just ignored her.

Emmett guided me to his car and went to the driver's side. I rested my head on the and soon tears began to fall from my eyes.

How did I manage to fuck things up between Alice and me?

'Emmett, I didn't do it. I swear down.' I whispered, when he didn't say anything.

'I know! I believe you.' He simply stated. He didn't say anything else but I was sure I heard him whisper something along the line of 'I'm gonna make everyone see that too.'

*******

Right now, I was curled up in a ball in my room. Emmett left a while ago.

The party kept replaying itself in my head, Edward cheating, Mike and I kissing, Alice shouting, me throwing up on Lauren's shoes and Emmett driving me home. How did things manage to get so messed up in such a small amount of time?

My phone beeped, informing me that I had a message.

I felt around for it, not bothering to get up from my position and soon I found it.

Flicking my phone open, I read the message:

**Hi Love,**

**Where did you go this morning, didn't see you when I woke up. :(**

**Last night was amazing.**

**Love Edward XXXX**

* * *

**Hi!! This chapter is kinda late isn't it?**

**In my defense, it isn't my fault. Blame school and the teachers, they decided to give us a science test with people a year above us. Something about doing double science and triple science for GCSE, I don't really listen and if I do, I'd forget it like 2 minutes later. Anyway, we have a math test on Tuesday but I decided to write. After Tuesday, I should be kind free. (I think)**

**Sorry if there's any mistakes**

**Please review. **

**Ayo not Amanda. xxxxx**


	22. 1 week later

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Hi Love,**

**Where did you go this morning, didn't see you when I woke up. :(**

**Last night was amazing.**

**Love Edward XXXX**

What's Edward playing at? He cheated on me and now he has the nerves to send me this stupid text, telling me that last night was amazing.

What happened last night?

Does he suffer from memory loss or is he bi-polar?

Is this message a prank, something him and Lauren cooked up?

I've been locked in my bedroom since yesterday, the feeling of nausea is still lurking about in my stomach, but I ignore it. I tried to phone Alice yesterday but she blocked my calls.

Charlie understood that I needed to be alone because he hasn't bothered me yet.

I spoke too soon, because the next thing I heard is Charlie begging me to open the door.

'Bella, Open the door. Please, honey…umm Edward is downstairs and he's waiting for you.' He sounded nervous for some reason.

Without even thinking about it, I told him to tell Edward to get lost.

'Bella, I don't know what's going on between you two, but yesterday both of you seem happy so I want you to come downstairs and talk to him.' He said softly.

Knowing that he wasn't going to give up, I dragged my self out of bed and slowly walked to the door.

'Come on, he waiting downstairs.' I expected him to go downstairs as well but surprisingly he walked to his bedroom.

'Dad, where are you going?'

'You two need to talk. You just don't go from happy to sad in one day, so whatever happened must be pretty serious. Besides, I'm sure you don't want your old man listening to your conversation.' He cracked a small smile then closed the door.

Taking a deep breath, I walked slowly down the stairs, trying to take as much time as I could. The confrontation is not something that I'm looking forward to.

Standing in the hall way was Edward. He looked different, nervous and hesitant. He stood there twiddling his thumb.

'What do you want?!' My voice was cold.

'Bella, I heard about what happened between you and Mike!' He whispered harshly.

'So?' I asked folding my arms across my chest.

'So! Bella what do you mean so? You cheat on me and all you can say is so!' He shouted and I am pretty sure Charlie could hear.

'I cheated? What about you and Lauren!' He looked confused so I continued. 'You think I didn't hear you. Edward, how could you? You cheated on me and now you have the audacity to come into my house, ask me questions as though you're the innocent one!' By now I was fuming.

'You know what, Alice was right! I don't even know why I wasted my time coming. I'm done with you; you had too much baggage anyway.' He spat at me and I flinch.

'So that's it. You come in here and demand for an answer, but you can't even admit to sleeping with Lauren. You know Edward, you're losing it.' I whispered harshly, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

'No Bella, you're losing it! I would never cheat on you with Lauren. You're the one I want, not Lauren, she's in the past, and you're my future. You're the only one I care about.' He whispered lovingly.

'LIAR!' I screamed! Why is he doing this, why won't he just admit it, he cheated on me and now he's trying to play Mr. Innocent?

'You know what Bella. I'm done!' He sighed exasperatedly

'Fine!' I shout

'Fine!' He shouts back.

He opened the door and walks out heading for his stupid shiny Volvo.

'Why did you send that text?' I shouted from the door way.

'Because, I thought last night was amazing, but obviously you didn't the same way because you had to run off the Mike Newton for more!' He sneered.

'Edward, what the hell happened last night!?'

'What, you don't remember?' He whispered then got in his car and drove away, leaving me feeling confused.

**Alice POV~**

It's been a week, since that horrible event took place, and tension was increasing between Edward, Emmett and I. Esme and Carlisle were both shocked when they came back home only to find their 3 children giving each other the cold shoulder.

I was more than surprised when Emmett chose to be on Bella's side, instead of his own brother, but Emmett always did seem to have this weird brotherly connection with Bella.

Something felt fishy, why the hell would Bella cheat on Edward; it seemed that they had the perfect relationship, well they do have a few bumps but it still didn't make any sense.

The dinning room filled with tension, as Emmett, Edward and I sat down for breakfast. Edward sat next to me and Emmett sat on the other side of the table, avoiding eye contact.

I kept my eyes on my cereal as did everyone else. No one made any attempt to start a conversation and Esme obviously sensing this wasn't going to allow that to happen.

'So, kids…umm…what are your plans for the day?' She asked.

Emmett spoke, when he noticed that Edward and I weren't going to speak.

'I'm going over to Mike Newton's house to have a heart to heart conversation.' He said glumly.

She beamed, happy to finally have one of us speaking, then she turn expectantly at Edward and I.

Sighing, Edward talked, 'I'm going out with Lauren.' He said quietly.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He moved on quickly, I thought.

'So, that's it.' Emmett started to talk. 'You're just dropping Bella, like that! The girl is better than Lauren and you know it!' Emmett shouted, standing up from his chair, but Edward didn't even look fazed.

I wasn't going to let Emmett talk to Edward like this; like it's his fault Bella cheated. I always have his back, and he has mine.

'Why are you acting like Bella is innocent, Emmett? I know you like her but she's lying to you and she's dragging you and Rosalie's relationship down.' I shouted.

'Well, I trust Bella, something you're meant to be doing. Jeez Alice, she's your best friend, we don't know the full story, so I won't jump to conclusions, that's way I'm going to see Mike. Something is very fishy.' He shouted back.

_She's meant to be your best friend._

That statement was a real blow in the gut. Bella is my best friend, but Edward is my brother, so I'll stick with him.

'That's enough!' Carlisle commanded, summoning silence in the room.

'Whatever, bye mum. Dad!' Emmett said stonily, then walked out the dinning room

I got up as well, and ran down the hall where I found Emmett, picking up his coat.

'I'll come with you! I want to know as well, if she's telling the truth.' I whispered, picking my coat as well.

*******

**I hate this chapter, it didn't come out right, but hopefully the next one will be much better. I know this chapter is short but as it wasn't coming out right, I had to stop. I should have the next chapter up by next week, or something.**

**Sorry if there mistakes.**

**Ayo not Amanda**


	23. Making up

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Alice ~ **

Oh Lord!! I can't believe it!! I am such an idiot.

How could I do that to Bella, when it wasn't even her fault?

My heart began to pound rapidly in my chest as Emmett and I parked at the Swan's curb.

Emmett got out the car, ignoring my presence.

'Emmett, I-' I started to say but he just walked to the door.

How the hell did I manage to fuck things up?

I stood nervously behind him as he press the door bell. The door opened and I heard Bella's voice, but it sounded weak and croaky.

'Hey Bella.' Emmett said. I moved from behind Emmett knowing that she hadn't seen me yet.

'Hi Bella.' I mumbled. She didn't even acknowledge my presence. I wasn't expecting a heart whelming greeting but a simply nod would have been better than nothing.

'Can we come in? Alice has something she'll like to say to you.' Emmett said, breaking the awkward silence.

Bella stared at me for a few minutes before finally moving from the door.

I gingerly followed Emmett into the house and we walked to the sitting room, where I noticed that Bella was now lying on the couch with a hot water balloon lying on her stomach.

'Bella, are you alright?' I asked, moving close to the couch.

'Yeah, I've been getting period pains, well cramps for a while now.' She told me.

'Is there anything you need that I can do for-' but before I could finish my sentence she cut me off.

'Look, what do you want?' She shouted. 'You made it perfectly clear that you don't want me in your house, so what are you doing in mine?'

Tears welled in my eyes and it became hard to see. 'Bella…I-I I was wrong and I am so sorry! I should have listened to you and Emmett, but I just thought, well Edward would cheat on you'- again she cut me off.

'What are you trying to say? That there was a higher possibility of me cheating on Edward?' she sneered sitting up.

'No! Bella that-' I choked as tears began to fall from my eyes.

'Bella, Please just calm down.' said Emmett, who throughout the conversation hadn't said a thing.

Bella looked at him and I saw her shoulders physically relax.

'Right, what can I do for you?' She mumbled softly adverting her attention to me.

'I want to apologize and…I want…my best friend back.' I answered softly.

'Well, the feeling isn't mutual. Quite frankly, I don't want anything to do with you! I don't classify someone who throws me out of their house for something I didn't do as my best friend.' She snarled.

'Bella…I am sorry.' I cried.

'Bella, um we went to Mike's house and Alice realized that she made a huge mistake.' Emmett said, while propping himself to the nearest seat. He looks comfortable, something I wished I could feel in a situation like this.

**FLASHBACK~**

'_Hi Mike!' Emmett snarled as Mike opened the door. Mike looked shocked, probably wondering why Emmett and I were here._

_Before Mike could even respond, Emmett swung his hand back and his fist connected with Mike's nose. He staggered and fell on the floor. He moaned and groaned before finally deciding to get up. He used the hem of his t-shirt to wipe the blood that was dripping from his nose._

'_WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FOR?' He screamed, still wiping his nose._

'_You wanna know what that was for, huh?' Emmett asked, advancing on Mike, who slowly moved back. 'That's for Bella!!' _

_Emmett strides up to him and in a blink of an eye, he had him pinned against the wall._

'_Now, this is how we're going to solve this situation; you're going to tell what really happened in that room with you and Bella and I might consider letting you go with nothing more than a broken nose. Understand?' He threatened, tightening his grip around Mike's neck. Mike began to turn red before Emmett finally released his grip, leaving Mike gasping for air. _

'_Mike, please just tell us what happened between you and Bella, please!' I pleaded._

'_Fuck…you!' he spat._

'_Listen-' Emmett shouted but I cut him off._

'_Emmett, please don't shout. Let me talk to him.' I said. 'Mike, please just tell us…please. I need your help.' I said pleading and hoping that he cooperate._

'_I can't tell you anything, but…' he said, leaving his sentence hanging._

'_Listen, you mother-' Emmett started._

'_Emmett!! Just shut up! Please.' I shouted at him._

'_But what Mike? Please!' I begged._

'_Nothing happened, that's all I'm allowed to say.' He simply stated. 'It's got nothing to do with me. I was just doing what I was asked to do. I f you have any problem, talk to…oops, sorry I don't remember her name.' He laughed bitterly._

'_So…someone asked you to do this?' I asked baffled _

_He nodded his head._

'_And you and Bella didn't really…do any thing?' I asked._

_He nodded his head again and smirked at me._

'_So…' I started to talk but I couldn't finish my sentence because realization hit me; like a ton of bricks._

'_So, you just fucked up you and Bella's relationship.' He summed up for me._

'_Emmett…p-please can we just leave?' I whispered._

**END**

'So, what do you want from me now?' Bella asked after we finished explaining what had happen.

'I want to apologize.' I cried. 'I made a terrible mistake and I'm sorry.'

'Alice, you wanna know what hurts the most, the fact that my best friend didn't even want to hear me out. It was her brother who was on my side. The fact, that she kicked me out of her house, I still can't believe it.' She said.

'Bella, I am really sorry, but I don't know what else I can say. I-I let you down, I know but please I don't want to lose my best friend. I-I do anything you want… just…please.' I cried in desperation.

'Mary Alice, do you want know the truth, I don't know what I want you to do as well, I just want you to feel the pain, that I've been feeling because of you and Edward.' She admitted.

'I am so sorry, Bella.' I cried, running up to her and pulling her in for a hug. I expected her to push m away, but she surprised me when she hugged me back.

'Gosh Alice, I missed you so much. This week has been an absolute hell. I mean I fainted at my swimming practice.' She laughed.

I pulled her back, looking as her from arms length.

'Bella, can you tell me exactly what is wrong with you?' I said sitting next to her.

SMASH!!

I heard from the kitchen. I groaned when I realized Emmett wasn't in the room anymore. The noise came for the kitchen, where Emmett was.

'Sorry! I'll fix it!' he shouted out.

Bella giggled.

'So, what's wrong with you?' I asked again.

Sighing she started talking, telling me about the dizziness she's been experiencing, the throwing up, the fainting, the cramps and the weird craving for bananas.

This is weird because I remember Bella telling me once that, when she eats bananas she always gets hungry. And now she can't stop eating them.

Before I could even reply, Bella clamped her hand to her mouth, rushed off the couch and into the kitchen.

I followed her, where I saw her throwing up in the sink.

'Bella? Bella, what's the matter?' Emmett asked her, dropping the sandwich he made.

Now it makes sense!

My legs began to shake and I found myself leaning against the wall for support.

After she finished vomiting and rinsing her mouth, she turned to face me.

Automatically, my eyes landed on her stomach. How could I not have noticed it before? The bump on her stomach.

'Bella, could you be…pregnant?' I whispered.

* * *

**Hi! **

**Sorry I didn't update early. I was being lazy. Bella is finally pregnant! Things can only get worse before it gets good. Sorry, if there are any mistakes, I didn't really check it. **

**Please review. Thanks.**


	24. Making up my mind

**Swimming in the deep end**

Suddenly I felt cold and automatically my head shook from side to side.

'No, No! I couldn't be.'

Alice just sat staring at me.

'No! No! I can't be! No… I mean, yeah, I throw up, I get dizzy and I seem to like bananas a lot lately but that doesn't mean I'm pregnant. It-it can be symptoms of another thing. I can't be… we only did it once.' I said quickly.

Alice continued look at me, without uttering a word.

Finally she snapped out of her trance, then turned to face a stupefy Emmett.

'Emmett, please go and don't breathe a word about this to anyone. If that means sellotaping your lips, then please do that.'

With a nod and a sympathetic glance my direction, Emmett walked out the room.

Sighing, she said, 'I need to call Rosalie. This is her area of expertise.'

*******

Rosalie stood in the doorway of the kitchen with her hands on her hips, giving me the once over.

'Hmm. Girl, you look rough.' She placed one of her hand on her cheek.

I don't know whether she was attempting to cheer me up or put a blow in my self esteem, but whatever she trying to do, clearly wasn't working.

Ever since Alice had bought it up I couldn't get the idea that I might be pregnant out of my head. I tried to but it kept erupting. I squashed, refused to even considering it bit the thought wouldn't budge out of my head.

'So this is what we'll do. Since I brought my car, why don't we head to Port Angeles, then one of us can pop into the Chemist and buy a pregnancy test. I don't want us to by the test here and create unnecessary drama.' Rosalie winked at me.

'What do you think?' Alice asked, while stroking my hair.

My shoulders drooped and I hung my head.

'There's no point. I don't think that I'm…' I couldn't get the word out my mouth.

'Look, Bella you've not been feeling well so let's try finding out what's wrong with you. We can do that through a process of elimination, starting with this pregnancy test, okay?' Alice said gently.

I let them lead me out of the house and into the red convertible. During the ride, Alice and Rosalie attempted to start a conversation but stopped when they saw that I wasn't going to join in. until I knew the result of the test, I couldn't think straight.

Finally we reached Port Angeles, and as soon as Rosalie parked, we headed for the store. When we reached the chemist, it dawn to that I didn't bring cash.

'I tell you what, why don't I just go to the doctor's and have a test there? It won't cost me a thing.'

Alice sighed, 'But you'll have to wait a few days for the result. That would drive you crazy with worry. This way is faster.'

'Don't worry,' Rosalie said, squeezing my arm. 'I have some cash.'

Alice and I waited outside while Rosalie went in and bought it.

My heart rate had been getting faster and faster and my breathing was labored.

When Rosalie came out of the shop, we looked at each other. She handed me the bag.

'Let's pop in that store and you can go in the loo there.' Alice said. We walked into the store and the man working at the store looked at us as though we were up to no good. But I couldn't care any less.

There were only two cubicles and one of those was occupied. We wanted to be alone so we waited until the woman came out. I read the instructions, followed them, put the apparatus on top of the cistern and waited. It felt like hours. I crouched down on the floor, cupping my face in my hands. My mind was numb.

Finally, there was a knock on the door.

'You okay in there Bella?' Rosalie called.

I stood up and unlocked the door.

They both looked at me. 'I've done it, but I don't want to face finding out the result. Would one of you look for me?'

Alice and Rosalie exchanged glances and Rosalie nodded. I brushed past then and went to the sink, where I washed my shaky hands. Then gripping the basin, I waited.

I waited for the news that had the power to change everything in my life.

She gasped.

I knew what that meant.

I didn't know what to do. All I could think about is the fact that there is a tiny life living in my stomach, depending on me for survival.

I felt myself crumbling to the ground, completely numb.

'Bella, get up?' I heard Alice said. 'Please.'

'Come on Bella.' Rosalie said, grabbing my limb arms and pulled me up.

'Come on, lets go to a restaurant and then we can talk.' She whispered softly.

_15 minutes later._

When we reached the restaurant, I was no longer numb, I was shaking. When we sat down, I buried my head in my hands.

'Right,' said Rosalie 'what are you going to do with it? Are you getting rid of it?'

Slowly I looked up at her. My voice was hoarse. 'What if I want to keep it?' Is that really what I want?

'Is that what you really want?' Alice whispered.

'Do you want to know the truth?' I asked them. They nodded. Taking a deep breath, I forced my sentence out. 'I am going to get rid of it.'

Both their eyes went wide.

'Bella!' Alice shouted, causing everyone in the room to look in our direction.

'Let's keep calm, shall we?' whispered Rosalie

'We've got to talk some sense into her.' Urged Alice. 'That's my niece and nephew she's about to get rid of! Edward's kid! Tell me, this is what you really want?' she said staring at me.

I couldn't tell her anything, my mind stopped operating.

'I've made up my mind.' I said, 'and my option hasn't changed.'

'You've only thought about it for like… 5 seconds!!' she shouted.

'No! Alice, 5 seconds, 5 minutes, 5 hours, it's not going to make a difference. I am getting rid of it!' I said, keeping my voice calm.

**Hi!!**

**Sorry for the short chapter, but my computer is acting weird and I am not sure when next I am going to update. Sorry. **

**Please review.**

**Ayo.**


	25. Bella vs Renee

**Swimming in the deep end**

When we reached my bedroom, Alice wasn't talking to me and to be honest, it bothered me.

'So Bella, are you still getting rid of your baby?' Rosalie asked softly, breaking the awkward silence.

'Yeah,' I replied without hesitation. 'I know this place in Port Angeles, they give advice or something. They can sort out how you can get it done.'

'Bella,' I heard Alice whisper but I refuse to look at her. 'Bella, please look at me! Please. This- is this really what you want to do?' I nodded, staring at my shoes. 'I'll come with.' She said. I looked up, just as she looked down.

'Why?' I asked.

She didn't reply.

That night as I lay in bed my mind kept flitting about from one thought to another. I was frightened to touch my stomach – sounds silly, I know but I don't want to become attach to it. It would be easier to get rid of it knowing that I didn't have any attachment towards it.

I kept wondering if there was something wrong with the pregnancy kit and I wasn't really pregnant after all. But deep down, I know I am, but I was afraid to admit it. And now, my worst nightmare had come true.

I thought about Charlie and Renee and how they would freak out, Renee especially.

How could I be so stupid?

Hadn't I known from day one that pregnant and being a swimmer do not mix well?

Now here I am, in the same situation my mother found her self in 17 years ago.

And of course, then there was Edward. Should I tell him I'm pregnant?

All that talk that spewed out of his mouth about wanting to have a lot of contact with his child: would he really put it into practice?

And if I did have an abortion, did he have the right to know about it?

Since my last encounter with Edward, I haven't spoken to him. And I am pretty such that turning up in his bedroom telling him that I am pregnant isn't going to fix our relationship.

The funny thing was that even though the fear of people discovering that I was pregnant was eating me up, I wondered what being a mother would actually be like. The thought had never entered my mind before, but images of me cuddling a soft, gurgling sweet-smelling bundle floated through my brain.

Could I keep the baby?

I knew the answer to that question. Keeping this baby would ruin Edward's life. It would also ruin mine. Keeping it is a definite goodbye to swimming.

Goodbye to my life.

Hello to motherhood.

Morning came all too quickly. Like a zombie, I dragged myself out of bed and threw on my clothes. Alice came over and we made our way to Port Angeles.

We were going to the Brook Advisory centre, to arrange for me to get an abortion. I didn't want to go to the local one here in Forks, in case I saw anyone I knew.

In the car, Alice held my hand, whilst keeping the other one on the steering wheel. She didn't say much to me, but just knowing that she was there for me, comforted me. I sensed that she was almost as upset as me and once or twice, she turned her face to look out of the window and I knew she was wiping away tears. That made me feels worse. How could I cause my friend this much pain?

When we got there, I had to go in to the counselor by myself. I was petrified.

'How are you, Bella?' said Anita. She must have been in her early thirties and had shoulder length hair trailing across her grey eyes. She seems pleasant enough but her manners didn't have a positive effect on me.

'Terrible.' I whispered. My eyes were red, and felt grainy through lack of sleep. My mouth was dry and tasted of metal. And I had noticed that all smell seem to be magnified ten times over.

Slowly Anita coaxed me into talking about myself and what the problem was.

At first I found it difficult to talk but then it was as if something inside me broke open and all the fear and confusion began to tumble out.

'What do you want to do?' she asked.

'I have to get an abortion.'

'Okay.'

Then I surprised even myself by saying, 'But, I'm not sure I want to.'

She just looked at me, a small smile on her lips. She didn't even bat an eye lash; it was as if this was a daily occurrence for her.

So I continued talking; what would happen if I kept the child, but had nowhere? (I wasn't sure whether both my parents were going to let me stay with them.)

If I did have an abortion, how would I feel afterwards, knowing that I killed an innocent child?

What if the abortion goes wrong and I can't have children later in life?

Would I be able to continue studying as a teenage mum?

Anita let me talk on but couldn't answer all my questions. When I left, I was none the wiser but I did have an appointment at the hospital to have an abortion in a couple of days.

As we drove back to forks, I told Alice everything that we talked about.

'You want to keep it, don't you Bella?'

I didn't, or couldn't reply to her.

In my room, we started to talk.

The knots and twists in my mind slowly began to unravel as I poured out my uncertainties.

'Look Bella, at the end of the day, it's your baby and what you want to do with it is your decision. Not your mum's or anyone else's. Just know that, I'll be there for you as well as Esme and Carlisle.'

'How do you know Esme will want to help the girl who had ruined her son's life?'

'Because, I know my parents, they both adore you. Besides, it's going to be their first grandchild.' She said grabbing my hands.

'If only I could turn back the clock. Just imagine all that sex education we had in school, and for what, eh? Here I am, seventeen and pregnant.' It's so unbelievable.

'But that's just it. Esme always said the sex education you get in school never really prepares you for the real thing. She and I used to chat about that all the time. She told me some stuff that used to make me feel embarrassed but now looking back, I'm glad she did.'

Interested in what Alice was saying I asked her, 'What things did you and your mum talk about?'

She grinned sheepishly, 'Well, things like when you like a guy and the guy begins to show interest in you…'

'And?'

'And, then you get together, then the guy wants to talk things to the next level. Things begin to get out of hand, and yeah.'

'Don't I know it.'

'The thing is,' Alice said, totally interested in the topic now. 'If you're talking about handling a tricky situation, that something else, but when you're actually in the situation, it's a whole different story. No one ever tells you what it's like and how difficult it's going to be when you try to put a stop to things.

I couldn't reply. I wished Renee and I had talked like Alice and Esme. All I ever knew was that, I wasn't to get pregnant and that was it. We've never had a proper conversation about having boyfriend and what it would be like to have feelings for someone. The only thing we ever really talked about was swimming.

And I know that for a fact, if we did talk, I'm sure as hell, that I wouldn't be in this situation, waiting to get an abortion.

The morning of my appointment at the hospital came too quickly. Charlie had already gone to work, but last night, I told him I would be staying with Alice.

The day was bleak. The sky was grey, the clouds were grey and I felt grey too. For the past few days I had been keeping a low profile around the house, ignoring Charlie and not calling Renee or picking up her calls.

Alice was driving me there, since she would be picking me up.

The trip to the hospital was a blur. Once I was ensconced on the ward, Alice had to leave.

'Phone me as soon as it's all over, and I'll come get you.' She whispered wiping the tears from my eyes.

I just nodded. A great big lump was stuck in my throat, making speech difficult.

She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

'Take care, I'll see you soon.' Then she was gone.

Sitting on the bed, fully clothed, with my bag packed, it seemed that time stood still. I know that I should be getting undressed and into bed, as the admission nurse had said, but I just sat there.

Was I doing the right thing? Having such thoughts wasn't helping me, but everything seemed to have moved so quickly. I knew that getting rid of it looked like the best option for everyone, but is it the right choice?

I thought about what it would be like to be a mom. No realistic vocational goals to aim for. No spare cash for clothes, meals out with friends, holidays- nothing for me, but everything for the child. It seemed a lonely and thankless existence, being a single mum.

What if I didn't get an abortion? Would I love the baby? Would I hate it for spoiling my chance if a commonwealth gold medal?

What if I took my frustration out on the baby? It's easy to say 'no way' now, but what happens when the baby is bawling its eyes out at two o'clock in the morning, what then?

Opening my suitcase, I began to pull my night things out. The admission nurse had said that the doctor and anesthetic would be round to see all the patients. Also a nurse was being assigned to us.

I had just drawn the curtains to get undressed when I heard a voice that sounded very familiar.

'The doctor is on the ward, ladies, hurry up and get into bed. I'm nurse Stanley and my 3 patients are Anne Vickers, Maria Spiker and Isabella Swan.' For some reason she stumbled over my name. She said it again slowly. 'Isabella Swan…Bella!'

Someone pulled back my curtain and I found myself eye to eye with Emma, Jessica Stanley's mother and mom's ex-best friend. I had forgotten she was a nurse.

'Bella, hi. How's you mother?'

'Fine,' I croaked. I couldn't believe my bad luck- Emma, the biggest blabbermouth around, just like her daughter.

'I read about you in the paper. Doing well for you self. Well except for this tiny mistake. Don't worry; it's all going to be over soon. You'll be off to Malaysia. Can't have a baby blowing your chances!'

I thought I was past the crying stage but suddenly tears started to flow down my face.

'I can't believe Renee let you have a boyfriend. She was so protective of you. I would never allow Jessica to have a boyfriend. Never mind, it'll all be over soon, then we can put it all behind us.' she gave my arm a squeeze and left.

I felt as though the world had ended. In a matter of hours, both Renee and Charlie would find out. Emma was going to tell her. My temples were pounding and my chest was getting tighter and tighter. The fear was so great that my bladder erupted and I found myself sitting in a puddle which slowly soaked into the mattress beneath me. I was mortified. Automatically, I threw all my things back into my bag and ran. Out of the bay, out of the ward, out of the hospital. It was only when I got outside that I realized I was still in my hospital gown and had no way of getting back home.

I whipped out my phone and dial Alice's number.

**Alice POV~**

Tears fell from my eyes as I walked out the hospital, leaving Bella all by herself. I drove back to forks in a dazed and when I got home, I ran into my room, so Esme and Carlisle didn't see me.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, and instantly I knew who it was.

'Hey Alice.' He said

'Hi Emmett.' I mumbled into my pillow.

'Today's the day?' He asked.

'Yeah. Emmett, she doesn't want to do this, I know that! She wants to keep the baby. I can tell!' I cried.

'Oh Alice…' Emmett said, pulling me into his chest. I buried my face in his chest and began to cry; I cried for my best friend, my niece or nephew, who would never get a chance to live a life, for Edward, who would never know he was once a father and Esme and Carlisle, who would never meet their first grandchild.

I don't know how long we stayed in that position, but then I heard my phone ringing, so I answered it without checking who the caller was.

'Alice?' I heard Bella cry. 'I-I couldn't do it! I can't do it. I need your help, Please! I can't…I can't!!' she cried over.

'Bella, calm down. Where are you?' Call me sick, but I couldn't have but feel a tiny bit of happiness, knowing that she didn't kill her baby.

'In front of the hospital, I-I just couldn't do it!' she cried again.

'Just stay there and I'll come get you. Okay?' I asked her.

'Ok.' She finally said and then I hanged up.

'What is it?' Emmett said urgently.

'She… she didn't do it.' I said, as I searched for my car keys.

'That's good, right?' He asked, following me out the door.

'I guess, but I have to go and get her, she sounded shaky. Something must have happened. Listen, Emmett, when we get to the door, please make sure mum and dad don't see us, okay?' I whispered.

'Okay.' He said with a small, sad smile on his face.

'Thanks.'

'Bella?' I shouted, when I noticed a medium height girl, with long brown hair, looking around anxiously in a hospital gown.

Her head whipped round, and when she noticed me, she started running towards me.

'Alice!' she cried when she finally reached me. I hug her and she began to cry.

'I couldn't do it! I tried to do it, but then she came and she…she…I just couldn't-' I couldn't understand what she was talking about so I cut her off.

'Bella, calm down, we're going to my place, so you can just explain everything to me there. Okay?' I said, as calmly as I could muster.

She nodded her head and I walked her to my car.

'So, you ran into Jessica's mum?' I asked once more. Bella and I were currently sitting on my head and I am still in shock after hearing what had happened. 'And, you're sure she's going to tell Renee?'

Bella nodded.

Feeling useless in this situation, I racked through my brain, trying to find something comforting to say. 'Maybe, she won't mention it.'

Bella looked at me and snorted, 'Please! She's been trying to get back at Renee ever since that what happened. That's why they're ex-friends.'

I cringed, remembering how Renee had publicly humiliated Jessica mom. 'Maybe, you're-' she cut me off.

'Why do you think Jessica hates me? In a matter of hours or minutes Renee is going to be here.'

'But she can't tell. What about the patient confidentiality and all that stuff?'

'Please, Alice, stop acting like you don't know Emma. Remember all the rumors she started spreading?' I hated to admit it, but Bella was right, Renee is going to be here soon.

'Oh Alice, I am so scared, Charlie and Renee are going to murder me, I just couldn't go through with it!'

I kept quite, not knowing what to say.

We sat for what felt like years, waiting for the yelling to start. The day got darker and darker. At 6:56, there was a knock on the door. Emmett.

I could tell from the look on Emmett face that Renee was here.

'Bella, your mum and dad are here.'

As soon as the words left Emmett's mouth she started hyperventilating.

'She wants you downstairs now.'

'I can't.' she whispered, running a hand through her hair.

'I think she knows.' I said, with a sigh.

'ISABELLA SWAN! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, NOW!' Renee's voice echoed through the house.

_Bella_, I thought in my head, _you are so dead_.

**Bella POV~**

'ISABELLA SWAN! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, NOW!' I heard Renee shout and a cold shiver ran down my spine.

I am so dead.

'Bells, honey come down, so we can talk.' I heard Charlie say, calmly.

That was it then; there's no more hiding from them. I have to face them and tell them the truth.

Slowly I got up from Alice's bed and walked to the door. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the door open and when I got to the top of the stairs, I could already see Renee's furious expression.

'You stupid, stupid girl!' she screamed when she saw me. 'How could you be so stupid? You know what; you are on your own. I've worked so hard all my life for you; I told you a million times how it was for your dad and I and look how you've repaid me. And that… that boy you've chosen to father your child… I told you, not to go out with him, you didn't listen!' she shouted.

'RENEE!' Carlisle said loudly, taking control of the situation. 'What is going on?'

I walked down the stairs with Alice and Emmett right behind me.

'What's going on? You're asking me what the hell is going on.' She let out a short, humorless laugh.

'Mum, I'm sorry!' I whispered when she looked at me again; disappointment written on her face.

'You're sorry! SORRY!' She scoffed.

'What is going on?' Carlisle asked again.

'Ask your son! He's the one who did this!' Automatically, Esme and Carlisle turned to look at Emmett.

'Hey…what!? She didn't mean me!' Emmett said, looking surprised.

'I mean Edward! That stupid fool!' As soon as Renee said that, Esme expression turned cold.

'Do not talk about my son like that!' she said, stepping forward.

'What did Edward do?' Carlisle asked again.

'He got my daughter pregnant!' She shouted.

A horrified gasp came from Esme.

Tears began to fell from my eyes, as the situation kept getting worse.

I looked at Charlie, but he wasn't looking at me.

I tried to get a few words in, but they sounded pathetic, even to me.

'You've got to get rid of it.' She shouted. 'Do you hear me? And I don't want to ever, EVER see you with that boy again. Do you hear me, girl?' Her voice was so loud, it vibrated around the room. She walked over to me and she did something she had never done before- she slapped me. Gasps erupted from everyone. My cheek stung and I started to sob even more.

She looked at me horrified at what she had done. Then she crumpled to the floor and started to cry as well.

This was worse than the shouting; it was like claws tearing at my heart. I just wanted to die. I curled up on the floor and buried my head in my hands. Esme was saying something but I couldn't quite catch what she was saying.

'…it's going to be all right Bella!'

'Esme, I am-' I started to say but the front door was opened.

Instantly; mum took a deep breath and stood up, glaring at Edward.

Edward looked around the scene; Alice crying silently against the wall, Emmett gazing at his brother with a murderous look on his face, Charlie next to Emmett, with his hand gripping his gun and Carlisle and Esme casting disappointed looks at their son.

'Bella?' his sweet velvety voice called.

'Bella, love, what's going on?' Edward said worriedly.

'SHE'S PREGNANT!' Esme screamed at him, her voice breaking at the last word.

'Pregnant? Are you pregnant? Is it true? Tell me, Bella.' He persisted with a hint of desperation.

I began to rock myself.

Edward raised his voice. 'I am asking you Bella, is it true?' he stood in front of me and crouched down to the floor, placing both hands on my shoulder, trying to get me to sit up.

Mum shouted, 'Don't you touch her, you've done enough.'

Then Edward turned on Renee. 'What do you mean, I've done enough? If you hadn't wrapped her in a cotton wool, she would have been smarter and wouldn't have gotten her self in this mess.'

I was shocked at his words. So was everyone else. Charlie pulled out his gun and pointed it at Edward. Esme screamed.

'Don't you talk about my daughter like that! One more step out of line and I will not hesitate in blowing up your head.' Charlie threatened.

Renee also exploded. 'What the hell do you mean she did this herself? What about you? How dare you stand here and tell me it's all her fault. You nasty little…' A rage came over mum, like nothing I had ever seen. She called him every name under the sun and her face contorted as she spat insults at him.

'I should have never let you near my daughter.'

'I LOVE HER!' Edward shouted. 'I want to be with her and nothing you or any one say is going to change that!'

Mum's teeth were clenched and spit was spraying out of her mouth. 'You leech! You don't know the meaning of love!'

One thing I know about Edward is that, he's got a bad temper and from the way his chest was heaving up and down, I could tell you was mad now. His fists were clenched and I was terrified he was going to lash out at Renee.

'Please stop, please,' I pleaded but neither of them was listening. Soon everyone else joined in and the shouting got louder and louder and louder.

I was finding it hard to breathe and it felt as if someone was sitting on my chest. I started to panic. It was as if there was a vice constricting my lungs. My jaws locked, I couldn't breathe. Desperately, I claw at my face, hoping to take more air. All of a sudden, a great red ball flashed in front of my eyes, followed by a wave of blackness which engulfed me.

* * *

This is the longest chapter, I have written so far. Really hard work and then my computer kept dying on me so I had to keep saving every word I typed, but it was worth it.

**Sorry if some sentence don't make sense.**

**I'll try to update as soon as I can.**

**Ayo!!**


	26. Moving forward

**Swimming in the deep end**

It was difficult to focus at first. As I gained consciousness, the annoying beeping sound got louder and clearer. There was something on my face and I tried to pull it off but when I did someone pushed my hand away. I groaned trying to show my annoyance. I placed my hand on the object, trying to find out what it is. It was an oxygen mask.

Shaking my head, and taking a deep breath, I began to come around. It was then that I realised where I was, in the hospital. Turning my head slightly to the right, I saw Edward who looked as though he hadn't slept in days and his bronze hair looked messier than usual as thought he had been repeatedly running his hands through it.

As soon as he saw my eyes open, he reached towards the bed and grabbed my hands. I smiled and so did he. Suddenly everything felt right, starring into his green orbs made me feel safe and protected.

There was a slight cough to my left and I unwillingly turned to face Renee. She, too, looked terrible. Her eyes were red and swollen.

'You're awake.' She stated. I nodded.

I couldn't look her directly in the eyes, so I closed my eyes. My lungs no longer felt as though they were surrounded by fetter of iron, but breathing was completely pain-free. A man in a white coat, with a stethoscope around his neck, walked in, oblivious to the tension in the room and stood over me.

'Hello Isabella, how are you feeling?' he asked checking the heart monitor.

'Not too bad' I whispered.

'You had a very bad asthma attack and even though I feel you're over the worse, because of your pregnancy, I think that it would be safer all round if you spent the night with us.'

Then suddenly, I started getting flashbacks, from the chat with Anita, to Emma, to Renee being upset, her slapping me, Edward getting mad, Charlie threatening kill him, and finally when I blacked out.

Once he was gone, the silence between was deafening. I knew they both had something to say but weren't going to talk until the other one leaves. Renee was the first to talk.

'Edward,' she called. 'I'll like to talk to Bella if you don't mind. Alone, please. And while you're at it call Charlie in.' She commanded.

Looking hesitant, he slowly released my hand, giving me a look that said 'If you need me, shout my name' before leaving.

'Bella...Bella...Bella! What a mess. So much drama, after everything I told you, you still get pregnant? I'm sorry, but I can't seem to get my head around that.' She said quietly. 'Alice told me everything, about the abortion, I'll book another one; where Emma doesn't work, and then you'll get rid of it.' She said making it sound easy and uncomplicated but it wasn't that simple. I want to keep my baby.

'Isabella Swan, I know that look on your face. Don't even think about thinking about what you're thinking about!' she said just as Charlie walked in.

'Dad,' I breathed, looking at him for help, but then it felt as though he gave me the courage I needed to say my next words.

'I will...I will keep the baby. I am already added to the percentage of pregnant teenage girls in America, I don't want to be added to the one that are stupid enough to get an abortion. You didn't, I won't.'

'You don't need a distraction.' She argued.

'Is that what I was, a distraction?' I asked.

'What...?' I caught her off guard.

'Was I a distraction?' I rephrase.

'Don't be silly. Of course not! I love you. Keeping you was the best decision I ever made.' She said grabbing my face in between her hands. 'I'm just trying to be reasonable.'

'Well, so am I. I'm trying to give my child a voice. This child is innocent. He or she didn't ask to be conceived. It was my stupid mistake and I am not going to let my child suffer for my mistake. I am going to put my feet down and tell you like it is Renee. I am keeping my child.' I said as calmly as I could muster.

She stayed silence for a while. She must have been in shock maybe from the fact that I called her Renee to her face. I know she knows that I called her Renee behind her back but never once have I ever said it to her face. Or maybe it was from what I just told her.

She finally broke out of her trance and for some reason I was expecting her to explode and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about but instead she leaned over and gave me a long hug. Amidst tears and sniffs we apologised to each other.

'I'm sorry.'

'No, I am sorry.'

'Well, I'm sorry too...'

Finally, as normality resumed, mum said, 'I'll do what I can to help you but it would be easier if you move to Florida-' Charlie cut her off.

'We already had this conversation and she will stay with me.' He said sternly. His tone was curt, finalising the conversation. Sighing Renee gave up.

Charlie sat on my right and Renee on my left.

'Never in a million years did I imagine that this would happen to you. Bella, my Bella, my beautiful baby.' She sniffed.

I know she was upset and shock, but I couldn't but blame my current situation on her. If we'd talked more, I would have understood what it was like to be with a boy and how to get close to the guy but also know my limits.

Yes, I know I had too much to drink that night, but in the cold light of the day, was it because I wanted something to happen, that something did happen? Perhaps I was curious to know what it would be like to be intimate with a guy. Now I wished that I had waited. It would have been so much better all round, but now it was too late.

That night, I managed to convince Renee and Charlie to both go home.

Soon after the Cullen came in. Every single one of them: Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Edward and Alice.

The beeping on the heart monitor sped up and soon everyone turned to look at it with an amused expression, on each their faces.

'Bella, relax, we're not here to bite you, we just wanna talk.' Emmett said.

'How are you, honey?' Esme asked, seeming really concerned. 'We don't want anything to happen to you or our grandchild.' She smiled.

I stared at her, shocked. I was expecting a big blow up, not this.

'Bella, please don't look so shock, darling. You're always been a part of the family and now you're about to add a new member into our life. That's a blessing. We'll support you.' She carried on.

I looked at every single member of the family, trying to find out if this was a trick but I couldn't find anything except for the sincerity I saw in each their eyes, well except Alice who had a smug look on her face.

She had been right, Esme and Carlisle weren't upset. I finally was able to relax around them and soon the tension I once felt had evaporated.

'Kids, come on. Let's give Bella a chance to rest.' Carlisle said, manoeuvring them out the room. 'I'll be working in the hospital tomorrow so before they discharge you, I'll pop around.'

They all left my room, well everyone except Edward, who was staring at me.

'Hey,' he said softly.

'Hi.' I replied.

'You scared us, me especially.' He said walking to my bed.

'I'm sorry. I...um didn't mean to.' I mumbled.

'Hey! Don't apologize.'

We stayed silence for a while, not knowing what to say, but finally I couldn't take it any longer.

'God Edward, what am I going to do? I can't swim any longer, Malaysia is a definite no-no. I can't go to school because of the baby...everything is just messed up.' I ranted.

'Hey! Bella, it's going to be alright. We've got each other. I'll help with the baby; contribute as much as I can. Bella, you are not on your own. You've got Esme and Carlisle behind you as well. We'll just take it one day at a time.' His words were soothing and soon I found myself calm and relaxed. Edward sat on the bed and held my hand.

'Bella, I was umm...wondering if you...' he stopped, my breathing hitched. _Go on Edward! _'If you'll like to go out with me again? I know before was a mess but I'll like to try again for us and the baby. I don't want our kid to be a suitcase baby, coming every weekend to see me, and then back to you for the week. I want us to try and make this work.'

It sounded like he had rehearsed what he was going to say and the fact that he put a lot of effort into his speech, caused tears to well up in my eyes and slowly I nodded. A beautiful crooked smile lit Edward's face.

'I would love to try again!' I practically yelled.

'Great!' he replied.

At around 12:30pm, I sat in the hospital bed, bored out my mind and waiting to be discharged. Renee was signing the release forms and while she was doing that, I had nothing to do. I closed my eyes and I began to sing so I didn't hear when someone walked in and cleared their throat.

I jumped, startled.

My cheeks flamed when I saw that it was Carlisle.

'Hello Bella. Lovely singing.' He teased and my cheeks went redder.

'Hi Carlisle,' I said suddenly feeling nervous.

'How are you feeling today?' he asked.

'Fine, thank you.'

'What about my grandchild?' I still can't believe how understanding Esme and Carlisle have been about the whole situation, whilst my mother almost had a cow and my father threatened to shot the father of my baby.

'The bay is fine as well. Thanks for asking.' I said politely.

'Look, Bella, I know Esme already told you this but I want you to hear it coming from me as well. We're all still a bit shocked but we are going to be there for you and the baby. Don't ever hesitate to ask us for anything. You're part of the family.' By the end of his speech I was speechless. Jeez, what is it with the Cullen family and all the great speeches?

'Thank you. I appreciate your support. I really don't deserve it but still, thank you.'

His brows knitted together as he stared at me. 'You do deserve this, you're like a daughter to Esme and I and we will help you. Things could have been a little different, you and Edward could have waited, but what's done is done. We have a baby to look forward to.'

I smiled at him, just as his pager went off.

'Bella, I have to go now, but please do visit us.' He smiled then walked out.

I waited a while linger and finally Renee came in and I was free to go home!

We sat in Charlie's kitchen, with me stuffing my face in food and Renee sat looking at me. Although we both had apologized I could sense uneasiness between us. I took a huge gulp of my diet coke.

There was one thing I wanted Mum to know and now was as good a time as any. So I explained to her what happened between Edward and me that night.

Renee sighed, 'I talked to him, when you were in the hospital. He also told me what had happened, but how could he have let you drink so much?' she was still a bit mad at Edward but she wasn't as cold as she was before.

I felt the urge to defend Edward and show that it wasn't entirely all his fault. 'It was hot, mum and there was nothing else to drink.'

'This is unbelievable. One night has changed everything...your life, your career, everything! Swimming goes out the window, and now I'm going to be a grandmother.' She dropped her head into her hands. After a moment I could hear her chuckling to herself.

'Mum?' I called cautiously. 'Mum, what's funny?'

Lifting her head, with a big smile on her face, she said, 'A memory just popped into my head.'

'What of?' I was curious.

'Well, I remember when your grandma found out I was pregnant, she almost murdered Charlie on the spot. Bella if you thought I took the news badly, you'll be surprised to see how your grandmother reacted. She was so disappointed, not to mention mad as hell. Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson wouldn't have been able to take her down.' She was still smiling but the memory was obviously painful.

'Oh Bella, how in the world are you going to look after a baby with Phil and I in Florida? Why don't you just come with us? I'm sure Phil won't mind.'

'Thanks but no thanks. Edward and I want to try again and make things between us work. Beside I won't be alone; I'll Charlie, you, Edward and his family.'

'Bella, you're so grown up!' she smiles.

'Thanks mum.'

'Right,' she said, sounding more like her old self. 'We need a plan. First you need an appointment at the hospital to tell you how far you are, and then we need to tell Jerry the truth.' The mention of Jerry's name made me feel a bit sad, but what could I do about it now? Memories if training and thoughts of travelling to Malaysia flashed through my mind but I squashed them. What the point of dwelling in something that's never going to happen?

**Hi!**

**I finally update! I have a new computer now so I can update anytime I want, but even with a new computer, I'm still kinda lazy, so it maybe a while before I update again. I don't really know anything about pregnancy nor am I going to search about it because my parents might just look in the history box and find their daughter looking for information about pregnant so if any info is wrong, I'm really sorry.**

**Please review, sorry if there's any mistakes.**

**Ayo**


	27. Seeing the baby

**Swimming in the deep end**

It's been 5 days since I was discharged from the hospital. Renee surely did stick to her words because I got a phone call from her saying she had booked an appointment for me at the hospital. I was upset at first because I wanted to book it for myself and it seemed like she was trying to control my pregnancy and it felt like I was missing some of the little experiences of being a mom. So she got 15 minutes of lecture from me about why she can't try and dominate me and my baby. I didn't exactly put it like that but you get my drift. She apologized and then she kept on insisting that she was coming with me to the hospital; this started another fight.

**Flashback:**

'_Bella, I'm sorry but I was just really excited. I didn't know you were going to get upset.' Renee apologized after getting an ear full about why she shouldn't book appointments for me._

'_It's alright, but next time, Let me pick.' It's my baby not yours, I wanted to say but I bit my tongue._

'_I can't wait to see what my grandchild looks like!' she squealed. 'I am so excited, wait should I pick you up or you come over. No, I pick you up because I hate your car. It's a death hazard.' She laughed excitedly._

_What? I don't remember saying she was coming._

'_Mum... umm I just thought you booked the appointment, I didn't know you were coming.' I said panicked because I spoke to Edward the other day and I invited him to come with me._

'_Of course, I'm coming with you. Do you really think that I would let you go by yourself? Silly Bella.' She paused then she gasped. 'I just had a brilliant idea! Phil should come as well!'_

_What! _

'_Mum! Hold up. I don't want to sound rude but I kinda asked Edward to come with me and I don't mind you coming but Phil, that's going to be awkward.' _

'_THAT boy is coming?' she asked anger evident in her voice. _

'_Yes, THAT boy is coming! Let's not forget the fact that he's my baby's dad and oh yeah we want to make things work again so forgive me for wanting to involve him in a bit!' I said matching her angry tone._

'_Don't talk to me like that young lady.' She said trying to sound stern. 'Now I don't know what's gotten into you since you got pregnant, but I will not allow you to talk to me as though I'm one of your mates. Have some respect.'_

'_You wanna know what's gotten into me? I'll tell you, this isn't your baby, in case you haven't noticed, it's mine and if I want to bring my BOYFRIEND to come see his baby, then I don't think that's a crime!' I shouted at her, and then forcefully slammed the phone down._

_After a while she called me and again and again but I didn't pick up._

_**End of Flashback. **_

To say that I was upset at Renee would be the understatement of the century. Sure I love my mom, but she wants to run everything, have total control and sometimes she doesn't even know. Swimming was one of it; I mean what was meant to help improve my breathing because of my asthma she turned into something bigger. She was so focused on making me big and successful like she was before. She wants control but she's not going to control my child. I won't let her make my child become so focused on trying to be successful that he or she ends up missing of the fun in being a kid.

No way! If I let her have free reign on this situation, the whole world might find out that I'm pregnant.

The downside about being mad at Renee was the fact that I forgot to ask her what day and time my appointment was. Now she must know and must be damn please.

I considered calling her a few times but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of her knowing that I may have made a bad and stupid move.

_Okay Bella, next time ask her for the day and time BEFORE you blow your lid._

I had a raging battle with myself through the night but finally I caved in and decided to call her; for my baby. I punched in her number and she picked up on the second ring. _Jeez woman, were you sitting by the phone?_

'Bella?' I could hear the hope in her voice.

'Hi,' I said gruffly, wanting to show her that I was still upset.

'Calling to apologize? To be honest I thought you were going to wait for months before you finally call. Oh wait, did you by any chance...forget to ask something important?' _Damn, she knows!_

'I am going to swallow my pride and do this. This isn't for me, it's for my baby, so if you're enjoying this, then you're not as mature like I always thought you were. When is my appointment?'

'Next week Monday, 2:30.' Then she hanged up.

Sighing I went to my bedroom and stood in front of my mirror. My belly was still flat but there was a tiny little bump, which I'm sure any other person wouldn't notice.

Having a baby is weird, knowing that your belly is going to be expanding. When I think back to the time when I was about to get rid of my baby; my heart breaks and I feel very ashamed of myself. When my mum told me she had me at 19, I remember my first question. 'You didn't try to get rid of me did you?'

But she had a clear record because she didn't, but with me that's a different story. How will ever be able to face my child and say 'When I found out that I was having you, the first thing I did was book an appointment to get rid of you.'

I don't want my child feeling unwanted.

Before I knew it, tears were spilling out my eyes.

I pulled out my phone and called Edward.

'Bella are you okay?' was the first thing he asked.

'No... m-my baby is going to hate me!' I cried.

'What, Bella, of course not! This baby will love the fact that he or she has got such a lovely, beautiful lady for a mum, don't you ever doubt that.' He said sternly.

'But I almost kill our little Edward junior!' I continued crying.

'All you did was book the appointment, it's not like you actually did get rid of it.' He soothed.

'But going to the hospital and almost killing him is just as bad as actually really getting rid of him. What kind of mother would dream of killing her child? Oh I know. Me.' I argued with Edward, although I did calm down a bit.

Sighing, Edward tried a different tactic. 'Edward junior, you think it's a boy?' he was trying to distract me but I'm not falling for that.

'Yes, it's a he!' I said indignantly. 'But that's not what we were talking about.'

He sighed again, and I know he was pinching the bridge of his nose.

'Bella, love. Stop being so stubborn. This baby will love and adore you. I bet its first word will be mummy.' He was trying to cheer me up but it had quite the opposite effect. I burst into tears again.

'Bella?' he called panicked. 'What did I say?'

'I don't want my baby to grow up that fast!' I wailed.

He chuckled sounding relieved.

He waited patiently while I finished crying. 'Sorry, blame it on the stupid hormones.'

He laughed.

'Are you busy on Monday? At 2:30, to be exact?' I asked biting my bottom lip.

'No, way?'

'I booked a date,' sighing I realised that _I _didn't book the date. I felt a pang in my heart knowing that I didn't book my baby's first appointment, _Renee did_. I know to some, this isn't a big deal but to me it is.

'Sorry, I mean _Renee_,' I spat her name. 'She booked the date for us on Monday. I know you already said you're coming but I wanna ask again.'

'Yes, Bella I will be there.'

I actually squealed.

The day of my appointment has finally arrived. To say I was scared would be putting it mildly. I was scared as shit.

Edward was driving us there. Throughout the night, I prayed that everything was completely normal with the baby.

Edward's car beeped outside, so I got my coat and walked out the door. As I got closer to the door, Edward got out and opened the passenger door for me.

I smiled as I sat down.

_Good to know that some things haven't changed._

We talked...for a while. I guess we were both anxious to see our baby that we couldn't even concentrate on our conversation.

We pulled up at the hospital and while I was fumbling with my seat belt, Edward had opened my door for me.

Taking a deep breath, I took Edward's invitation and held his hand tightly. We walked to the reception, where a dark chocolate skinned woman with long dreadlocks packed in a ponytail, sat behind the desk.

'Hello,' she smiled when she saw us standing at the desk, revealing her perfectly straight teethes just like Edward's.

'Hi.' I said feeling pretty comfortable around her. 'I have an appointment with Doctor Haydock, at 2:30.' I finished.

She stared at me as though expecting me to say something. 'Name?' she laughed, when I didn't say anything.

'Oh...sorry...Isabella Swan.' I blushed furiously, while Edward silently chuckled.

She scanned her computer. 'Okay, let's see... Isabella Swan... Isabella...Isa-oh, here it is. Umm...Isabella, Doctor Haydock is not in today so you could either book another date or see a different doctor.

I thought about it, could I really wait a few more days before I finally see my baby? So I turned to Edward. 'What should we do?'

'We'll like to see a different doctor.' He answered.

'Okay, the only doctor available right now is Doctor Cullen.'

My eyes widen.

Noticing my strange expression, she asked if there was a problem.

'No,' Edward answered for me. 'No, that is perfectly fine thank you.'

'Good, your room is 219. Doctor Carlisle doesn't have a patient right now and since it's almost 2:30 you can just go in.'

'Thank you.' Edward and I said in unison.

'You're welcome.' She laughed.

Never letting go of my hand, Edward and I went to the room and waited for Carlisle.

I was nervous and I started to shake my legs to burn some of the nervousness away.

At exactly 2:30, He walked in wearing a white coat and a stethoscope around his neck. He had a brood smile on his face.

'Hello Bella, hi Edward. Excited for your first scan?' He asked sitting on the chair in front of us.

'Yes.' I said.

'So before we can see the baby, I have a few questions that I would like to ask you.' He said going into doctor mode.

'Okay.'

'Your full name?'

'Isabella Marie Swan.'

'Date of birth?'

'September 13th.'

'How old are you?'

'17.'

'Do you smoke or drink?'

'I don't do either.' True, because when you're a swimmer a healthy lifestyle is essential. Besides I'm asthmatic.

'Any medical conditions?'

'Yeah, asthma.'

'Okay.' He said, writing everything down.

'Now, we just need to see how much you weigh and check your blood pressure.'

A while later, all that was completed and we were now moving on to the scan!

I lay on the bed and pulled up my top and gave my hand back to Edward to hold. I squirmed as he put the cold jelly on my stomach.

Seeing my movement, Carlisle smiled apologetically.

'Sorry.' He said.

I smiled.

Carlisle continued to move the probe around on my stomach until finally he saw something.

I breathed slowly and looked at the screen. At first, I couldn't make out the baby on the screen, but then Carlisle helped Edward and I identify parts of our baby, the arms, legs, head and other various parts.

'You just 8 weeks along so you just entered your first trimester. You're two months pregnant.' Carlisle informed us.

It was incredible and frightening. It really brought it home to me that I was going to be a mother.

I turned to Edward, who was still gripping my hand tightly. And I noticed that he had tears welling up in his eyes.

'It's so beautiful.' He murmured, awestruck.

'Would you guys like a copy?' Carlisle asked breaking us from our little bubble.

'Yes, please.' I smiled, turning my eyes onto the screen.

'How many copies?'

'3 please. You can keep one and show it to Esme.' He looked surprised but then smiled.

We waited while the photos were been printed. I was still in shock, my baby is perfectly alright! My baby is perfect!

Eventually, we got the pictures, thanked Carlisle and I walked with Edward feeling giddy.

We waved at the reception lady, who waved back although she was on the phone.

When we were inside the car, I stared at the copy of the baby in my hand- completely and utterly mesmerised by the stunning creature which Edward and I had created.

As the seconds ticked, I realised that I was pretty excited about becoming a mother. Yeah sure, things aren't going to be easy but I'm ready.

'Would you like to hang out or just go back to your place?' Edward asked, and then I remembered. Jerry.

'I need to go to the bath.' I said keeping my sentence short.

He nodded understandingly.

We stayed silent for the rest of the journey. I continued to gaze at the photo, trying to distract myself for what may happen when I see Jerry but it wasn't easy. I found my mind wondering.

Because I was so engross in my thoughts, I didn't notice Edward pull over.

He tapped me gently on the leg and I jumped, startled.

'Sorry.' He said.

I smiled.

'Do you want me to come with you?' he asked softly.

I shook my head.

'I need to do this on my own.' I said.

With shaky hands, I unbuckled my seat belt and got out the car, still gripping onto the photo.

I went to where I usual had my lessons knowing that he would be there.

He was. He was there coaching a girl who was currently doing backstrokes.

He looked in my direction and noticed me. His posture went rigid.

When the girl got to the other lane, he told her to stop. 'Paige, that was fantastic. Give me a few moments to talk to someone and I'll be back.'

He walked in the direction of his office and even though I wasn't sure, I followed him. His office door was wide open. I closed it behind me.

A tense and awkward silence filled the room.

'Is it true?' he asked quietly.

I nodded. He sighed.

'This has never happen to me before or any of my students. I thought it was just rumours and I tried to brush it off, saying to myself _'this isn't true, the town is just looking for someone to start a nasty rumour about, they're jealous.' _He said burying his face in his hands.

He sighed.

'So where do we go from here?' he asked after a little while.

'I don't know.' I said helplessly.

He gave a short, humourless laugh. 'I don't know.' He mimicked me.

'Jerry, I'm really sorry, I didn't want things to turn out this way. Please don't be angr-' he cut me off.

'Angry? I am not angry. You never planned this. I just want you to be happy. I have been teaching for a really long time, I even remember your first day. You were so scared, didn't want anyone to see you in swimming costume and you didn't want water in your eyes. It was really hard to get you involved but after a while, you started enjoying it. I saw so much potential in you. You became the daughter I never had so I just want you to be happy and make choices which will benefit you in the future. So are you happy?' he asked staring deeply into my eyes.

I nodded without hesitating.

'Good, I just want what's best for you. I want you to make choices that you are not going to regret. I want you to be satisfied.' He said, his eyes glistening with tears.

Seeing tears in his eyes brought tears into mine. I have never seen Jerry cry.

I gripped the picture tighter in my hand.

An idea popped into my head. I wanted Jerry to see the same thing I see. My joy and blessing. My baby.

'Here,' I said as I walked closer to him and offered him the photo. He looked up and when he did, he eyed me curiously.

He slowly reached for the photo. His facial expression screamed out confusion as he scans the photo.

'It's the baby. I just came from my first scan. You asked me if I was happy and I am, in fact I'm on cloud nine. This baby is the reason why. Sure I would have like to have gotten pregnant a bit later on but like I said before I am happy...well I am now. It took a while to accept the fact that I was having a baby but it's getting better. When I saw the baby on the screen it was unbelievable. I had just gotten used to the idea that I'm going to be a mom but seeing my baby on the screen it...it made me realise just how happy I am. Jerry, I am so sorry things didn't work out the way we envisioned but in all honesty seeing my baby made me realise that I would not change any of this, even if I could.'

'Thank you for showing me the baby. You sound prepared, that's something most women cannot feel because they feel like they are going to mess up. I know that when the baby is born he or she will love you unconditionally because, you, are amazing and you have a heart of gold. If you are willing to give up your dream for your baby then I know that your baby is going to be one lucky child' He said quietly but he sounded earnest.

Tears pooled in my eyes, again.

I know people are meant to have a professional relationship with their teachers, bosses, coaches, whatever you want to call them but after hearing what he said, I couldn't contain myself. I walked round to his table and hugged him.

'Jerry I am so sorry things didn't turn out the way we wanted.' I said as I hugged him tighter. We stayed like this for some time, but he eventually pulled away and cleared his throat. He stared at the picture for a minute or so before handing it back.

'I have to go back to the lesson. Can't keep the student waiting, I remember when we had our practices; you hated it when we were interrupted.' He laughed then paused. 'Goodbye Isabella.'

I whispered a good bye and with one finally look around his office, I walked out.

I felt calm knowing that I finally got that off my mind and now I can focus on my baby!

**Hi!**

**I am really lazy and I know it. I have been writing this chapter from June and I just finally finished. I suck, but it wasn't really my fault, I blame school. They have been using my year group as fucking guinea pigs and I don't like it. They had many other years to pick from but they decided to pick us, which was not fair. But apart from that, we did go on a trip to Spain and it was fun, Port Aventura was amazing, the rides were SICK, especially the one that drops you (Amanda got stuck, her harness wasn't coming off and she started to panic, thinking the ride might start again. LOL) **

**Furious Baco was scary as hell, at least now I know that if I do go back there, that is one ride that I am going to avoid going back on.**

**Unfortunately, I ended up deleting ALL the pictures on my camera and one of the teacher was pissing my off, asking me what happened. I called my mom and told her what happened and when I ended the call, the teacher was sitting right next to me, scaring the hell out of me. That pissed me off. I just wanted to be left alone. But she finally got the damn message and left.**

**But in a few weeks, school with be over and that means 6 weeks of freedom! I can hardly wait!**

**Sorry for the long wait. I apologize for any mistakes you may find. **

**Please review. Ayo**


	28. Boy or Girl

**Swimming in the deep end**

**I wasn't really planning on continuing from the last chapter but someone suggested it and I thought that it wasn't a bad idea, so yeah, this is a continuation.**

* * *

Edward drove around while I narrated what had happened in Jerry's office.

'It feels really strange now, me no longer swimming. It's funny how things suddenly change, a couple of months ago, I thought I was off to Malaysia not having a baby.' I said thinking back to those months, when my priorities were pretty straight forward.

'Things change.' Edward muttered.

'You bet they do.' I sighed.

Edward stopped and I noticed that we were parked right outside my house.

We exited the car and went inside, where we settle in my room. Edward sat leaning against the head board and I snuggled into his chest.

He started stroking my hair as we sat in comfortable silence. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.

'What would you like to name the baby?' Edward asked softly, breaking the silence.

I haven't really given much thought to what the baby will be called.

'I haven't really thought much about it, with everything else going on.'

'But you think it's a boy don't you?' he questioned, I nodded. Curious, I turned my neck so I could see his face. 'What do you think we're having?'

'A little girl.' He smiled with a dreamy look on his face.

'How would you feel if she is a he?'

'How would you feel if he's a she?' he reversed with a smirk on his face.

'I asked you first.' I said childishly.

He shook his head and smile then proceeded to answer the question.

'I don't really mind but a little girl would be fun to have around, you?'

'I always liked the thought of having a brother, considering the fact that I am an only child. But if it's a girl I don't mind, it's still our baby.'

We sat again in silent, absorbing what was said.

'What do you think of the name Elizabeth?' Edward asked and I scrunched my nose in distaste.

'Nah, don't like it. The name is too old fashioned but too common, if you get what I mean. I want our baby to have a... unique name. Besides,' I said slapping his leg gently, 'we should be looking for boy's names.'

'You're so determined that **she's** going to be a boy aren't you?'

'Yup!' I answered confidently. 'And you think it a girl, two different opinions, what should we do?'

I turned my head again and we looked each other in the eye and I knew he knew what I was thinking about. 'Bet!' we said in unison.

'Okay, If It's a boy and I'm right, which I am, you have to change all his diapers and clean him up until I want you to stop.' I smiled evilly. Most guys hate changing diapers so this should be fun.

He contemplated my offer and for a moment I thought he was going to say no but then he nodded. 'If it's a girl, which it is, you change all the diapers until I say you can stop AND I get to pick out the baby's name.' That's not cool, I thought in my head but gave in. 'Deal,' then something popped into my head, 'but you have to tell me the name forehand.' He nodded his head.

'You better learn how to change diapers cuz that's what you're going to be doing in a couple of months and God I am going to enjoy seeing you squirm.' I said cockily.

'Don't get your hope too high. He could be a she. Correction "he" is a she.' He teased.

'Wait a few weeks and we'll find out.'

* * *

September 13, my birthday. 18 years today. Celebrating my birthday has never had any appeal to me, and no, I am not one of those people who hate their birthday because they have a phobia of growing up.

It's just the fact that you're centre of attention, to me it feels awkward. It's not the type of attention that I am use to. Swimming, however, I don't mind the attention. I liked the attention I received because to me it didn't feel fake; it felt like I had done something to gain that attention, but birthdays it's different.

That's way today is going to be treated like any other day or so I hoped.

Today, when I woke up, Charlie hadn't left for work like I thought he had. He was sitting in the kitchen eating cereal and reading a newspaper.

'Hey Bells.' He greeted.

'Hey Dad.' I said and started to make my breakfast.

'Hey bells, happy birthday. You're finally 18. Oh I got you something.' He left his cereal and newspaper and started to walk up the stairs telling me to follow him.

'Dad, you didn't have to get me anything.' I said.

We stopped at his bedroom door and before he opened the door he turned to me.

'Now I know you don't really like birthday gifts but I figured that my grandchild might like it so I hope you like it as well.' With that out of the way, he pushed the door open.

In one corner of his room, lay a big box and on the cover was a baby crib.

He bought me a crib.

'Dad, Thank you.' I gave him a hug which he awkwardly returned.

'Bells, it's alright. I have to do something for my grandchild, don't I?'

'Letting me stay with you is already enough. Thanks again.'

'Umm, don't worry about fixing it up, I do that, that's why I took the day off.' He said.

'Great, I'll call Edward to come over so he can help you.' I smiled. Yes, I know what I'm doing. Putting a chief police officer in a room with the boy that knocked up his daughter is not a good idea, but I think they need a little bonding, don't you think?

I walked out of his room leaving him to assemble the pieces of the crib and into mine. I took my phone from my bed and dialled Edward's number.

He picked up on the third ring.

'Hey Love, happy birthday.'

'Hi Edward, Thanks, Umm...do you mind coming over cuz I have a surprise for you.' I said sweetly.

'Love, I can't. I have a surprise for you and I need to get it ready.'

'Edward, please.' I pouted into the phone, knowing that he would be aware of what I was doing.

'Bella. The pout doesn't work if the person you're doing it to cannot see it.'

'Please, baby.' I tried one more time using the best innocent voice I could muster.

'Bella, don't, I have to go now. Love you, happy birthday. Oh you'll like your gift.' When he said that, he hung up, leaving me flabbergasted.

Edward never hangs up on me. He will pay.

The day turned out better than I was anticipating. Alice called me during the afternoon, wishing me a happy birthday, but our conversation was cut short. She starting shouting at Emmett, saying something along the lines of 'No, Emmett. It doesn't go there. Take it off.' She was distracted and I wonder what they were doing that had Alice all hot and bothered.

Renee called but didn't come and visit. I didn't mind. All I wanted was a bit of peace and quiet but with Charlie's occasionally swear words echoing from his room I didn't really get it. She apologized and then we talked a bit more about our relationship. By the end of our conversation we both stood on better ground with each other.

In the evening, Charlie had finished and placed the crib in my room and I had to admit it looked beautiful there. It would look even better once my baby has arrived. I didn't really know what to say. All I could do was imagine my baby lying there, looking peaceful.

We spent the rest of the night watching TV and eating left over pizza. To me, that is a perfect birthday.

* * *

Edward came over the next day and drove me to his house. I decided not to tell him about Charlie's surprise because I want to hear his. We walked to his room and stopped at the door. He stood behind me and covered my eyes, engulfing me in darkness. Not a hint of light I could see.

'Edward, what are you doing?'

'Shush, it's a surprise. Do you trust me?' He asked gently. I nodded.

He led me into his room, and then he stopped. He took his hands away from my eyes and I blinked. Standing in front of me were Emmet and Alice with goofy grins on their faces. They were standing next to a crib. Wow.

_Two cribs, really? This child is loved._

Their gleaming smiles evaporated from their faces when I didn't say anything.

Yeah, I mean, it was nice much fancier than Charlie's and it looked a lot more expensive with its delicate design but come on, really two cribs?

'You don't like it? I picked it out.' Alice asked sounding anxious.

I burst out laughing; the situation was too damn ridiculous.

'Told you she wouldn't like it. If you had just picked the one I wanted.' I had Emmett mumble, making me laugh harder.

'Two cribs... Charlie.' I said in between laughter.

'Two cribs, Love what are you talking about?'

'Wait...Bella you aren't having twins are you?' Emmett asked.

'Hell no! Charlie bought us a crib yesterday as well.' I explained.

'Oh.'

Everyone was silent, just staring at the really expensive crib until Alice talked. 'But... you do like the crib right?'

* * *

Weeks had gone by and my belly continued to grow. My clothes no longer fitted me so I had to go maternity shopping with Renee, Esme and Alice.

Today is the day when I find out the sex of the baby. I really hope that I'm right because to be honest I don't really want to be changing diapers.

Edward and I are currently waiting for my doctor to arrive. When she did, we got the check up out of the way. Everything was perfect.

She squirts the jelly on my stomach and moved the probe around. We listened to the baby' heart and check on its growth. Then we checked for the gender.

'Alright, let's see. Congratulations mummy and daddy, it's a girl.' Doctor Haydock said.

Edward leaned closely into my ear and whispered. 'Better learn how to change a diapers, our bet is still standing.'

**Hello! School is finally over! I am really excited! I will update as soon as I can. I already started on the next chapter. I'll put it up soon.**

**How is your summer, if you are having summer that is. My summer plans are crushed, I was meant to visit my Aunt and Uncle in Kenya but my mum cancelled and rescheduled the trip to next year. *Sigh* Another boring holiday In London, the only one travelling is my dad. He's going Nigeria without me and my mum...again twice in a year. But I am trying to convince my mum to take me and my friend and her sister to Thorpe Park and yeah it's working. I wouldn't need to ask her if only I knew how to fucking get there! Oh well. Tell me about your summer. Hope it's beta than mine.**

**Oh I have nothing against the name Elizabeth, my mum's name is Elizabeth so I don't want people thinking I'm trying to diss them if they are called Elizabeth.**

**Please review and sorry for any mistakes you may find. Please again suggest baby names for me, I am stuck! **

**Ayo xxxxxxx**


	29. Port Angeles

**Swimming in the deep end**

My stomach grew bigger making me more and more uncomfortable as the months flew by. It got really hard trying to manoeuvre my way around. I am currently 7 months pregnant, turning 8 very soon. Everything concerning my baby princess was going swimmingly.

Over the past few months, a lot has happen.

Edward teased me mercilessly about the fact that I would be changing diapers for months to come. Sometimes I have the tendency of putting my feet in my mouth, I noticed that.

Charlie changed, though I know he hopes that I don't notice all his new habits like shaving every morning which is something he rarely did before, all the grey hair on his head mysteriously vanished leaving nothing but shining brown hair. He wears cologne, something he didn't do even when Renee was still here. One word for all this: Sue Clearwater, his lawyer. They have been hanging out but Charlie being Charlie kept it a secret from me. He's not as sly as he hopes he is because if he is I wouldn't have noticed the lipstick mark on his neck when he took off his jacket one night.

I got Edward to do a little snooping for me and he surely didn't disappoint. He found the situation as funny as I found it and was just as eager as I was to find out Charlie's dirty secret.

Renee and Phil moved to Florida just 2 months ago. Phil couldn't afford to stay here any longer; his manager was starting to complain. I miss my mother but if moving makes her happy then I understand.

Forks is pretty much dead right now, literally speaking of course. The graduates from Forks High school are now in college, somewhere out of Forks. Alice is one of them, along with Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie who are gone for their second year. Only a handful of people stayed in Forks and that includes Jessica and Laruen who attends the local college and Edward and I.

Edward could have gone to college and I could have looked after the baby but he decided that we both we are going to attend college together. He doesn't want to go without me, he says. Back when I was swimming, college wasn't really high on my list like everyone thought. I mean I wanted to experience it but swimming and college really didn't mix well and swimming came first back then. I knew I had to choose so I chose swimming. I didn't tell anyone my plan to not attend college because they wouldn't have understood.

I told Edward that college wasn't high on my list before and now since we are having a baby it is really not high anymore but he refuses to let go. He said he'll wait till next year; he is pretty damn stubborn on the situation so I just let it go.

About a week ago, we got a call from Alice saying that she, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie are coming to Forks for just a week but didn't say when. I was nervous when I heard that, the last time I saw them I wasn't that big but now you will definitely notice and I wonder what they will say.

Like any normal pregnancy I have had odd experiences as well as the truly magical ones. My morning sickness had stopped which I was ecstatic about.

The first time I heard my baby kick, was truly one of the best experience of my life. It felt strange like butterflies fluttering around in my stomach, scary at first but when you get over the shock it is a pretty special moment. Now she kicks all the time and I love it.

Now, the bit I really don't understand; the hormones. My hormones have been up and down, a real rollercoaster. There are times when my hormones really hurt a lot of people around me and sometimes it just cracks them up.

I remember on Christmas when I had a meal with the Cullen and Charlie and Alice commented on how big my stomach had gotten and for some weird reason I started crying. She asked me what she had said wrong and all I could do was shrug. I don't know I just feel like crying, I told her. She stared at me before laughing. Hormones are strange.

Over the months, I developed a habit of spitting. Saliva just pools in my mouth and I can't seem to do anything but spit. It is bloody annoying and gross. It's almost as bad as the morning sickness. Almost.

Most recently another unpleasant symptom had evolved. It seemed as though the loo had become my new bedroom because I was spending so much time in there. It's incredible.

I didn't realise that my kidneys could flush through so much liquid day and night. In fact it didn't seem to matter whether I was exhausted and really needed my sleep, my kidneys worked overtime anyway.

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing but the symptoms that come with it are just ridiculous.

* * *

It was one unusually hot day in Forks. Edward, Esme and I were sitting on the front porch of their house, trying to soak up as much sun as possible.

Edward and Esme were busy having a heated conversation about what to name the baby. Esme mentioned the name Elizabeth but before I could object, Edward handled it, so I just stayed out of their way, enjoying the foot rub I was receiving from Edward. My feet have been aching lately so I am making the best of this.

I saw a car enter though the Cullen gates and they must have noticed it as well because their conversation came to a halt.

The car had tinted windows so we couldn't really make out who was in the car. The car looked awfully familiar but I couldn't make out where I have seen it from.

A few seconds later, the doors opened and out stepped Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie.

'Kids!' Esme shouted excited, jumping up from her seat and tackled Emmett.

'Whoa, mum, I'm glad to see you too.' He laughed and started spinning her around.

When Emmett released her, Alice ran up to her and pulled her into a tight embrace as well.

When they released each other, Alice came over to Edward and me.

'Oh my gosh Bella, you look so...bigger! Wait, don't start crying, I take it back. You can't even tell you're pregnant.' She teased.

'Oh shut up.' I mumbled as I struggled to get up to give her a hug.

'I miss you so much Bella.' She said into my neck.

When we pulled apart, she stared at my stomach. 'She is really growing.' She squealed then started jumping up and down.

'Alice I didn't' know you guys were going to come so soon.' Edward said.

'So bro, what are you tryin' to say, you don't want us here?' Emmett teased.

I looked at Jasper who offered a dazzling smile in my direction then I looked at Rosalie who just offered a small nod.

'Hello Bells.' Emmett said coming over to me. He bent down so he was levelled with my stomach. 'Hey mini Bella.' He said poking my protruding stomach.

'Let's go in everyone.' Esme said.

We all walked in, well in my case waddled in with the help of Edward.

We sat in the living room, switched on the TV which no one was watching. Esme left the room to go get us something to drink.

'Can you believe it; in a few months I'm going to be an aunt.' Alice squealed. 'That's so cool!

'What are you going to name her?' Rosalie's gentle voice spoke for the first time.

'Umm I...umm...' I stumbled, momentarily lost for words. 'Well that's up to Edward.' I mumbled.

'Bella, why is that up to me?' Edward smirked, evil prick.

'Because I lost a bet.' I spat.

'Wait, you made a bet...without telling me? No fair!' Emmett whined.

'Considering the terms of the bet Emmett, you should count yourself lucky.' Edward laughed.

'What was the term and what was the bet about?' Jasper asked sounding sincerely interested.

'Well, before I start, I'll like to say that the bet was Bella's idea. Now Bella thought we were having a boy but I thought no it's a girl so we made a bet, if the baby is a boy then I have to change all his diapers for as long as Bella want and I also added that if I win then I get to pick out the baby's name but unfortunately for Bella she lost so she's changing the diapers and I also get to name the baby.' Edward attempted to pat my head but a growl that erupted from my mouth made him freeze.

'Do you want to keep your hand?' I spat at him.

'Bella what were you thinking? No one bets against Edward. For some weird reason he never loses. I can't believe he didn't tell you this.' Alice said, scowling at her brother.

'That's right Edward never loses a bet. It is really annoying.' Emmett said.

'When did you make the bet?' Rosalie asked.

'A while ago.'

'And we're only hearing it now?' Incredible.' Alice said.

We talked a bit more, filling each other in on what we missed during our time apart.

There were lots of laughing going on but sadly it was at my expense.

'So...' Alice said everyone got quite. 'Bella... when last have you been shopping?'

_Ohoh, I know what's about to happen. Think fast, think fast._ I chanted to myself.

'Umm...you know...that day...umm...' I said stumbling to find words that make sense.

'Hmmm.' The look on Alice's face told me she wasn't buying it one bit. 'Clarify when that day was.'

'You know, a week ago?' it came out more like a question. I bit my lip and looked around the room to see if anyone was going to offer any assistance. No, they were too busy trying to muffle their laughter including Esme who returned to the room a while ago.

'Well, a week ago. Yeah I'm not buying it, Bella. You lying skills, yeah they suck. We are going shopping!' She squealed for what seemed like the fourth time today.

'Please, Alice no!' I whined, pouting like a five year old. 'My feet are killing me! And I'm sure going shopping will only make it worse. Isn't that right Edward?'

'Umm, yeah! Alice let it go. She doesn't wanna go.' Edward finally comes to my rescue.

'But I wanna go shopping for my niece.' She pouted. 'I just wanna... oh well it doesn't matter.'

She slumped into her chair, bowed her head and started fiddling with her nails. The sight was heartbreaking.

'Gosh, I can't believe I'm falling for this. Fine let's go.' I surrendered.

Alice jumped up and started squealing...again.

'Calm down Alice.' Jasper laughed.

As I got up, I felt Edward grip my hand. 'Bella are you sure you want to go?'

'No, but she wants to, besides she gonna pay for everything.' I laughed but Edward didn't find it funny.

'Edward, don't worry, I'll be back soon. I love you.' I said giving him a chaste kiss.

'Love you too.' Finally he releases my hand.

'You do know you paying right?'

'Yep.' She left the room and went to the garage to get her car.

'Are you coming Rosalie?' I asked timidly.

'Can I?' she sounded shocked.

'Yeah. If you want to.'

'Umm...sure.' She got up and we left together. I wouldn't say Rosalie and I are best of friends but we were kinda of getting along better.

We drove up to Port Angeles and before this torture could start I had to take a trip to the toilet. This day is going to be long. I can feel it.

* * *

'Alice, slow down, in case you have forgotten, I'm pregnant. So I can't exactly move like you can.' I whined as Alice dragged up into the 6 store today, I know it doesn't sound that bad but considering the amount of minutes that we were standing for at each store, made it worse.

'Come on Bella. We've only been to 6 stores and so far we only have 3 bags of baby clothes. We need to move.'

'No, Alice my feet are killing me, I can't take any minute. I need a fucking chair!' I shouted.

'Geez Bella, hormones.'

'Alice, she's right. She needs her rest.' Rosalie said. 'I saw a McDonald when we were heading here, so let's just go there, you can get your rest and something to eat. How about that?'

'Sounds great to me.' I smiled.

When we got to McDonald, we were lucky to find sits because the place was jammed packed. My fingers and leg were swollen. Sweat was oozing down my back under my arms and down my back. To say that I was uncomfortable was an understatement! I felt dreadful. You don't really understand anything about being pregnant until you experience it yourself. I have seen a lot of pregnant people on TV but never once did it occur to me how they must feel carrying around all that excess weight. If I was already feeling this uncomfortable at just 7 months, what would 9 feel like?

I sat with Rosalie and waited for Alice as she got our food. The queue was pretty long so it might take a while before she gets back.

Rosalie excused herself and went to the toilet so I was left on the table alone.

I thought sitting down would hell. Not. I was still uncomfortable. I contemplated levering myself up onto a standing position but decided instead to flex and bend my legs under the table, to encourage the circulation back into them. As I was doing this, I didn't notice two girls around my age; staring at me until they approached my table.

Suddenly, one of them with dark brown hair just launched a verbal attack on me.

'You still with him aren't you? What will it take to get rid of you?' I recognise that voice. Laruen. Standing next to her was Jessica.

Jessica, who looked nervous, started pulling on Lauren's arm. 'C'mon Laruen, let's go.'

'So what? You can't talk?' I couldn't move; I was rooted to the seat.

'I don't know what else to do. Every single plan I had, you managed to ruin it. The date you went on; the graduation. Everything! The only reason he's still with you is because of that.' She pointed to my stomach.

Jessica tried unsuccessfully to get Laruen away from me but she seemed to be warming up to the attention she was receiving from everyone in the shop.

My tongue was stuck on the roof of my mouth and my eyes were watering. I looked around for Alice or Rosalie, but they were lost in the crowd that had gathered.

My mind was completely blank and I just couldn't find the strength or will to retaliate. A first for me.

'This thing you're carrying around isn't Edward's!'

A small voice from within me said, 'It's his!'

Those words were like a torch. She erupted. 'See, this is what I mean.' She turned to Jessica. 'You're telling me to be quite and watch her ruin Edward's life? I tried everything and I will put a stop to this. Edward doesn't deserve this!' As she said his name, a shot of adrenaline coursed through my body. I was tired of saying nothing. What happened to me? Since when do I need someone to stand up for me?

'You know what your problem is? You can't handle rejection! Edward doesn't want you! And you think if you can't have him well no one can. That's where you are wrong. We are together, about to raise a baby together. Edward is the father, believe it if you want!'

Laruen looked shocked, outraged and horrified. The look on her face, gave me the advantage I was looking for. I stood up from my seat, feeling more in control of the situation.

Laruen, with flames in her eyes and her mouth screwed up to half its original size, hissed, 'What did you say?'

'You heard,' I hissed back. 'You carry on as though you're something special. Some kind of prize, you make Edward seem so perfect, like he could do no wrong. He isn't perfect and he doesn't belong with you. You will never have him.'

'You lying cow!' she spat. She looked livid. Her expression told me she was ready to hit me. Just then, Rosalie emerged from the crowd.

'What the hell is going on?' she yelled. Alice also burst through the crowd, looking stunned. The crowd had intensify, half of them craning their neck to catch a bit of the action. It didn't look as though they were going to offer any help.

'Laruen! Let's go!' Jessica hissed in Lauren's ear.

'Shut up!' Lauren said.

Rosalie stepped in. 'Laruen what are you doing?'

'Just trying to call out this lying fool. That thing she's carrying in her stomach isn't Edward's. '

'Just go home. You're making a fool of yourself.' Alice said.

Rosalie took a step forward and leaned over to Lauren and whispered something into her ear.

She looked pissed. 'Don't try and threaten me. If I remember correctly you were ready to help me. Don't try and make yourself the hero in this.' By the end of her rant her chest was heaving.

'What are you talking about?' Alice asked.

'Bella and Edward's date! The one that went wrong, she helped.' Laruen sneered.

Rosalie looked mad. 'Do. Not. Drag. Me. Into. This.' Her voice was shaky from what I could guess was anger.

'You know what? I don't care. Laruen, you are just a bitter old hag. You need help.' I said. 'Alice, Rosalie, I've had enough. Let's go.'

'What?' Laruen shouted. She pushed Alice and Rosalie out the way and stood in front of me.

Rosalie and Alice stood next to Jessica and watched helplessly.

I don't know what she was planning to do but what happened was certainly not on the agenda.

A toddler suddenly got up from one of the seat and ran from the mother, the frantic mother chased after her. The child ran dove straight into the watching crowd, who pushed and shoved to get out of the way. A wave of bodies crashed onto Jessica, who fell on Rosalie, then Alice, then Laruen, who fell on me. Like a pile of cards, we ended up in a pile of bodies on the floor. By the time everyone had picked themselves up, I knew that something was wrong.

A severe cramp-like pain which started at my back, quickly circled my stomach.

Breathlessly, I said, 'I have to sit down.' Then I heard a very deep baritone moan. It was me. The pain had intensified. I felt a rush of some hot, sticky substance between my legs. Was it blood?

Alice was at my side in an instance. I grasped her arm.

'Hospital! Take me to the hospital!' I whispered.

* * *

**Hello!**

**Hi! I updated. I would have updated sooner, but I had to do my mum a big favour. A really, really big favour. Ok, it wasn't that big, I'm just exaggeration. **

**Anyways, sorry for any mistakes you may find. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I will update very soon like maybe Thursday.**

**Please review if you enjoyed it!**

**Ayo. xxxxxx**


	30. Carlie Rose Cullen

**Swimming in the deep end**

It was blood. As we walked from McDonald to the maternity block, the pain was indescribable. Even though it was localised around my back and stomach, it radiated out to every fibre of my body. My knees gave away and Alice had to find me a wheelchair while Rosalie stayed with me.

They had taken me to the nearest hospital, which was St Adam's. The hospital that I was planning to give birth in was in Forks and there was no way I would be able to cope with this pain for 3 hours if they had taken me to Forks.

The hospital in Forks has all the information about me and the baby there. Nevertheless, I was now an emergency and note or no notes, I needed treatment.

When the doctor came into the room, Alice went outside, with tears streaming down her face, to make phone calls to Edward, Charlie and Renee.

Rose stayed with me holding my hand.

The midwife had already examined me or tried to, as the pain was tearing into me by now. She had managed to hook me up to a machine that checked the baby's heartbeat. The sound was like music to my ears, even though it sounded a bit irregular.

'Bella- I can call you Bella, right?' The doctor asked.

I nodded.

'You still have quite a while to go but apparently you had an accident, yes?'

I nodded again. The pain was so bad I could not speak.

'You have gone in labour and it seems that the baby is in distress.'

'Is she going to die?' I cried out.

She paused.

That was enough for me. I screamed long and hard.

'Please, save my baby. Don't let her die!' I grabbed the sleeve of her white coat and was not letting go.

'Listen, Bella. Calm down, We will do everything we can to help you both. But you need to try and relax.'

I laughed then, but it was not a happy laugh. I sounded like an animal caught in a trap.

I saw the doctor throw a glance at the nurse, who looked at Rosalie, who looked at me. She held my hand tightly and with the other hand, she brushed strand of hair away from my face.

'Alright, Bella. I'm going to examine you internally. Apparently, the midwife who checked you on admission said that the neck of the womb was dilated and I need to examine you to check your condition.'

While the doctor was doing her job, I thought about the times when I hoped I would miscarry. Was I being paid back now? Was what I had hoped for before finally becoming true?

At first I tried so hard to not get attached to the child that was growing within me but as each day passed, my body responded to the hormones changes that were taking place; I felt closer to the baby. I couldn't and didn't want to lose the baby now. Not ever.

The pain was excruciating. In between contractions I almost felt normal, but the spaces between each one was shortening. Waiting for it to hit was nearly as bad as the actual contraction itself. I couldn't speak, I couldn't hear and I couldn't think. The pain was just too overpowering.

'Hang in there Bella.' I heard Rosalie say. 'It will all be over soon.'

'I want Edward.' I cried.

'I know, I know.' She soothed.

'Bella, the baby's head is engaged and the neck of the womb has now dilated to 7 centimetres. Just another 3 to go and the baby will be out.' The doctor said.

I bawled. I screamed. I wailed. I shouted. I cursed. I begged and pleaded. I had been given an injection and the nurse had explained to me how to use the gas and air, but to be frank, it wasn't helping. I tried very hard to concentrate on my breathing technique, but my mind wouldn't behave itself. It went off into the realms of memory in between pain and repeated thought of waking up in bed with Edward, finding out that I was pregnant and what had previously happened battered my brain.

In between the pain, I did manage to register the time when Edward stepped in the room with a nervous looking Esme and Carlisle and a guilty looking Alice. Charlie followed behind, worry written all over his face, and Emmett and Jasper trailed behind, looking rather uncomfortable.

'Bella...' Edward whispered.

'I can't do it. Edward, I can't. Don't make me.' I wailed.

Edward looked tortured. 'Love you can do it, I'll be with you, every step of the way.'

The doctor said that they were too many people in the room, so Esme, Alice, Carlisle and Charlie left without being told, throwing looks of sympathy at me. Rosalie and Edward stayed by my side.

It seemed like an eternity later (It was, to be exact, six hours and fifty minutes) that the midwife said to me, 'Push'. I couldn't.

'Edward,' I cried, gripping on to his red hand, 'I'm too tired. This is too much for me.'

The midwife tried to encourage me 'Bella, this is the final bit. Once the baby's head is though, the pain will lessen.' Her face seemed sincere and I wanted to believe her, believe me I did, but I just couldn't think straight. I heard Rosalie say something, but I couldn't hear it. She repeated herself, her voice firmer this time.

'Bella, look at the heart monitor.'

My head jerk to the direction of the heart monitor, seeing what she was talking about. The baby heart rate was slowing down.

'Bella, you have to push now. I know you're tried but you need to save your baby. Now, when I tell you to push, do it.' The midwife said.

Hearing and seeing for myself that my baby's life was in danger gave me new strength.

With my fingernails digging into the palms of both Edward and Rosalie's hands, and biting into my lips, I pushed for all I was worth.

'That's it Bella...push.'

'Ahhhhhhhhhh.'

'Again, push.'

The midwife and I went through the routine of the push and scream a few times. Suddenly I felt something gush out of me and the doctor said, 'Well done, Bella. She's out.'

I barely got to hold her. Before I knew it, she was placed in a plastic see-through box and was wheeled through the door.

'Where are they taking her?' I asked, panicked.

'To the special Care Baby Unit,' the doctor replied. 'She's a bit small, and we need to keep a close eye on her. Her breathing isn't very good.'

'Is she going to die? Please tell me the truth.' After all the pain of the birth, this was worse.

'I think she should be okay. Look, we'll get you cleaned and then you can go to the ward. You should be able to see your daughter soon.'

Covering my face with my hands, I wept. I felt Edward's arms around me but nothing could console me.

Once I was settled in the ward, with the curtains drawn, Edward, Rosalie and I were joined by the other.

I saw Edward glaring at Alice who had her head bowed.

Nobody spoke but I knew Edward was dying to say something. Finally he burst.

'You just never listen.' He spat and I knew exactly who it was at. 'See what you cause?'

'Hey, Edward don't, please.' Jasper started, trying to defend his girlfriend.

'Don't Edward me. We were all there. Bella didn't want to go. She made her.' Edward shouted.

'Don't start.' I said as firmly as I could. 'Don't blame Alice. This wasn't her fault, she didn't make this happen. We were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Now just shut the hell up, all of you.' I yelled.

The rest of the time was spent in agonising silence.

A bell was rung. 'Visiting hour is over, please could you make your way out?' a voice bellowed up the ward.

Esme came over and hugged me, then Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper. Rosalie also gave a hug, whispering words of encouragement in my ear.

'Don't worry, girl, your baby is fine. She's a fighter.'

Alice nervously came forward and gave me a hug as well.

She broke down into tears, whispering 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' over and over again.

I hugged her tight, my way of reassuring her that I did not hold any grudge against her. I don't but I not so sure about Edward. I'll need to talk to him later.

Charlie also left but before he did, he surprised me by giving me a hug and for once it didn't feel awkward.

'Hang in there Bells. This kid has your blood, she'll make it.' He kissed my cheek, then he left leaving just Edward and I.

The noise of the ward swirled around us. My body was exhausted. It didn't feel like the body of an eighteen-year- old, more like eighty.

A nurse pooped her head around the curtain and said, 'Would you like a cup of tea?'

I ignored her question and before Edward could answer, I asked, 'When can I see my baby?'

She smiled gently. 'Soon, I should think, but you must try and get some rest.'

She came back in and handed Edward and I drinks. I don't know if something had been put into it, but after my drink I fell asleep.

I woke up during the night and saw Edward sleeping uncomfortably on the wooden chair. I took sympathy on him and woke him up and told him to come and join me on the small hospital bed. He didn't even try to argue.

It was a long night. During the periods that I was half awake, I kept willing my child to live. Edward told me she weighed just over six kilograms. That was about a bag and a half of sugar. I tried to imagine her little heart pumping away. The thought made me scared. I so wanted to hold her. Right now this doesn't feel real and until I get to hold her in my arms it would continue to not feel real.

I wonder if her sense were developed enough to know to know that she was all alone, wired up in a plastic box. Did she know she had a mother, who desperately wanted to hold her close?

The ward was slowly coming back to live. All night the nurses were busy, now the patients began to stir. When I heard the other babies cry it only made me more aware that my baby was elsewhere. It wasn't until after breakfast that Edward and I were allowed to see her. So hand in hand, we went to her. Our daughter. There she was my daughter. Lying in an incubator. Esme had brought some clothes in for her and she had on a little pink woollen hat, a white jumper and booties that she had made.

They clothes were too big. Seeing her lying there, so defenceless in her baby clothes, bought an uncontrollable flood of tears to my eyes. I wanted to go into the room, snatch her from all those wires and carry her home.

Edward and I stayed outside watching her from the window and I didn't stop the tears as they flowed down my face. I didn't want to watch my daughter from a window, I wanted to hold her.

Edward and I walked back to the ward. It was tough back there. Sounds of babies crying attacked my ears and images of mother cradling their baby flashed everywhere I turned.

Charlie came during the afternoon and brought in more clothes for the baby. He informed me that Renee and Phil were on their way from Florida. The thought of seeing my mother cheered me up a bit.

In the evening, Charlie left. Edward had hardly left my side, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to be alone right now.

Edward climbed back on the hospital bed and we held each other throughout the night.

Again in the morning, a nurse came and asked us if we wanted to see her. She was still lying in the incubator, wired up but the only difference was the fact that she was moving around as though some funky tune was playing in her head.

A nurse working in the ward said to us, 'She's over the worst. Her breathing was the mean concern but she's doing amazing now. Once she adds on a bit more weight, you'll be able to take her home.'

Those were the best words I had heard in a long, long time.

The nurse left Edward and me soaring on cloud nine. Our baby is coming home soon. I couldn't stop the goofy grin on my face.

Edward turned to face me, his smile mirroring mine.

'I thought I still had a few more weeks left but apparently my time has run out. I don't want to keep referring to her as she, the baby or whatever else we call her. She's going to have her own name. How do you feel about Carlie? Carlie Swan.'

I smiled. 'Carlie Cullen.' I corrected.

'Carlie Cullen. Now all we need is a middle name.' He sighed.

'Umm...How about Rose? I like that name.'

'Perfect. Carlie Rose Cullen.' We turned back and watched our baby move a bit more, a content smile on both out faces.

She's perfect. Carlie Rose Cullen.

**The End!**

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**Okay, I was just kidding. But all I have left is like 2 or 3 chapter. I update early. I really surprised myself. I really couldn't think of a better name but oh well. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I hope you guys didn't think I was going to kill Bella baby. That would just be heartless.**

**Sorry for any mistakes you may find. Oh yeah, the hospital I made it up and if the birth info were wrong, oh well. I ain't a doctor nor do I have kids. I'm too young, underage.**

**Ayo. xxxx**


	31. Sorry comes too late

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Ok, before you start reading, I feel that this chapter is really important so I needed to have it in. You'll see what I mean. **

It's been two weeks and Carlie is finally being released from the hospital. She had gain more weight and the doctors and staff were quite happy with her improvement.

Leaving without her was the hardest thing, I have ever done. Going back to Forks, with an empty belly and an empty crib was heartbreaking. I was all the way in Forks and my baby was in Port Angeles. It was hard but Edward and I went to visit her every day, never leaving her alone.

She was removed from the incubator 4 days ago but they wanted to make sure everything was going perfectly so they kept her in the hospital for a few more days.

Over the past few days, everyone was coming for a visit. Renee and Phil arrived 4days after she was born. Renee couldn't get enough of her granddaughter, but the fact that she also couldn't hold her kinda got to her. She had assisted me in every way possible not just physically but mentally. She helped me when I was in doubt and held me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. She knew the right things to say to me to cheer me up. The last few weeks have been tough on me. This wasn't the way I imagined my baby's birth. As soon as she was born, I was meant to hold her, have my special moment with her, console her when she was crying, breastfeed her, get to know her. That didn't happen. The mother and daughter bonding time didn't happen.

Edward and I arrived at the hospital ready to take her home. But the hospital had other plans. We had to sign documents after documents before we could finally take her home. She was sleeping by the time we had her buckled in the car. She looked so peaceful; she didn't know the amount of crying and worrying everyone had done over her. I still couldn't believe this is real. That Edward Cullen and I are parents to a really beautiful child. A few months ago, if someone had told me I'll be sitting in the back of Edward Cullen's Volvo watching our newborn daughter sleep, I would have told them they were out of their mind. The ride back to forks felt short, Alice finally got over her guilt and helped Rosalie, Esme, Renee and I decorate my bedroom to look like a nursery as well as an eighteen-year-old girl's room. We did an amazing job. Edward and Alice are back to their old self and are getting along again.

We pulled up in my drive way and on the front door, was a yellow banner with, 'Welcome home, Carlie' written on it. Although she was sleeping, I picked up her baby car seat, tilted it so she was facing the huge banner.

'See, they love you so much.' I whispered to her sleeping form.

Edward came to my side, picked up her baby seat and walked with me to the front door.

Immediately, we were attacked by everyone. They wanted a look at her.

'Look at her, she's so cute.' Edward and I were quickly forgotten. She was getting all the attention. What about the parents?

Comments about her were thrown here and there.

'Her feet are so tiny. They are so perfect.'

'She looks so peaceful.'

'She moved, oh my gosh she moved. She looked so cute.'

She continued to sleep, not knowing the amount of attention she was receiving from her uncles and aunts and grandparents. Edward and I were left to one side, just watching them fawn over her.

It didn't bother me one bit. I decided to use this to my advantage and relax. I rested my head on Edward's shoulder and I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew Renee was shaking my hand.

'Bella, she woke up. I think it's her feeding time.'

Groggily, I sat forward, carefully not to disturb Edward who was also sleeping. 'Yeah, yeah.' Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at the clock. 'It's 4'o clock, I've been sleeping for an hour, why didn't any of you wake me up?'

'Because you needed your rest and please, don't insult us. There are two pairs of parents in this house; you think we don't know how to look after a baby?'

She was right. I got up and unbuckled Carlie from her baby seat just as she scrunched up her little face and started to cry.

I tried to coo her but it wasn't working. She was hungry. Not that I blame her. I took her to our room and sat in my rocking chair and started to feed her.

She ate quickly, greedily sucking the milk. Not long after, I burped her and she dozed off again.

Instead of taking her downstairs again, I laid her in her crib. Perfect.

'You don't know how long, I've wanted to do that.' I murmured and stoked her soft cheek as she slept.

I switched on the baby monitor before going back down stairs. This time Edward was awake. Everyone had gathered in Charlie's small living room.

I sat down next to Edward. Esme got up and handed Edward and I a bag. 'From Carlisle and I; a little something for our grandchild.'

I opened the bag and pulled out a lovely pink and white outfit for Carlie. The top had her name embroidered on it.

'Thank you. You shouldn't have. This little girl has more clothes than me. I'm jealous. Who's gonna buy me gifts?' I joked.

Everyone laughed.

'My turn!' Emmett shouted. I laughed.

This time, Edward opened the gift. It was a picture of Emmett, smiling goofily at the camera. The framed had the word 'Best uncle' written around it.

'Best uncle?' I asked

He nodded. 'And don't you forget it! Be sure to place it next to her crib.'

We received more gifts from every one. Rosalie brought her a really expensive looking pair of sandals. Alice and jasper bought her supplies of baby wipes, baby shampoos, pampers and a lot more. I was every so grateful, she didn't understand how happy I was. This is going to save me a lot of money. I didn't stop the tears are they flowed, all their gifts, their kindness was all too over whelming.

At around 9, they left, leaving Edward, me and Carlie. Renee and Phil left as did Charlie although this is his house. He's probably with Sue. Edward left a while after helping clear up but promised to come back tomorrow.

I was heading up stairs to check on Carlie when the doorbell rang.

I got up and opened the door, shocked to see Jessica standing there holding a huge pink baby basket.

I stared at her and she stared back offering me a tiny hesitant smile.

'Congratulations. I heard you had a girl.'

I nodded.

We stood silently for a while longer then she asked, 'Is it alright if I come in?'

I moved back from the door, making space for her to pass.

Again we stood in silence and it was starting to get on my nerves.

'Is there a reason you're here?' I sneer.

'I can't blame you for being like this. I deserve it. I'll pick my friends better next time.' She murmured quietly, and then paused before speaking in a louder voice. 'I just want to say that I am really sorry. Once Laruen has her sight on something she has to have it or him in Edward's case, I just didn't know she could go that crazy. Her parents sent her to London, to live with her aunt; they were shocked at what she did. She went yesterday.'

I made a motion with my hand. 'What this got to do with me?'

'Bella, what I did with Laruen was wrong. I should have help stop her, but she looked so mad. She had a way of saying things; crazy things but when she's says them they make sense. She's so smooth, so persuasive. I swear I didn't know things were going to turn out like that.'

Carlie's cry's echoed through baby monitor.

I went upstairs to get her and I could hear Jessica foot steps behind me.

I picked her up, check to see what was wrong and it turned out she needed a diaper change. If there's one thing I hate, its diaper change, this is her 6th one since we brought her home. Edward isn't helping, he finds it too funny.

After I changed her diaper, I rocked he for a bit so she could go back to sleep. I put her back in her crib; she stirred a little but didn't wake up.

Jessica came and stood beside me watching Carlie sleep as well.

'She's beautiful Bella.' She murmured.

'I know she is.' No point trying to be polite. 'Jessica, it's time for you to go.'

'Please Bella, hear me out. I just want to say sorry but wouldn't you stick with your best friend. If you were in my shoes and Alice was Laruen wouldn't you stick with her?'

I looked at her feet and raised a brow. 'Okay, first I would never wear your shoes, it's a death trap secondly I think I can tell when my best friend starts going crazy. You know too but you just let it happen.

You two endangered my baby's life. She could be dead all because of a stupid crush. Tell me; is that worth risking an innocent life? Her life?' I said pointing at Carlie, who continued to sleep unaffected by this argument.

'You just can't bring a gift basket and expect me to melt. I may forgive you if Carlie didn't get dragged into this. If all I ended up with was a sprained ankle then yeah I'll forgive you but my baby was involved. Now that shit don't sit well with me. I think you better go, Jessica. Edward wouldn't like to know you've been here.'

Alarm flashed across her face but as quickly as it came it disappeared.

She sighed, placed the gift basket on the floor, besides Carlie crib and prepared to leave. 'Bella, I am really sorry. I don't know what to say. But I'll be around when you're ready to accept my apology. But I guess you right. I'll pick my friends carefully next time. I'll see you around.'

'Jessica,' I called when she reached for the bedroom door. 'Thank you. At least you had the decency to admit you made a mistake and I respect that.'

'Bye Bella. Carlie is really beautiful.' Then she left.

**Hello, this wasn't the way I envisioned this chapter. But now I understand what people mean when they say the characters have a mind of their own.**

**In my head, I was ready for Bella to forgive Jessica but then I started writing and I thought, no if someone endanger a life for a really stupid reason, you aren't gonna buy the sorry the first time round. You know? So I decided, yeah Bella is still anger but she kinda accept the apology, you know?**

**Laruen is one of them people that can never change but sometimes other people get tangled in their webs and Jessica was one of them. She realised Laruen was wrong and was ready to apologize.**

**Anyways, the next chapter is the last chapter. Sad. *cries***

**I have a new story in mind and I already started writing. It was inspired by a book I read and yeah. I'll update it pretty soon, it's called Elle. I'll write more about it in the next, pardon, last chapter.**

**Please review. Thanks.**

**Ayo. xxxxx**


	32. Contentment

**Swimming in the deep end**

**Last Chapter –**

'No, that's not how you do it!' For the millionth time I showed Edward how to do Carlie's diaper. 'The sticky bits go to the back and the patterned bit goes to the front.' Edward, with his tongue stuck to his top lip, tried again.

_That's what you get_, I thought.

It's been 4 months since Carlie was born and it was only a week ago that Edward decided the bet no longer applied.

_Well who's laughing now?_

'Move out the way.' I nudged his hands away as he managed to screw up the diaper again.

He sighed, stood behind me, wrapped his hands around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

'I don't get it.' He moaned.

'I don't get it.' I mimicked him. 'Of course you don't get it. Every time she needs a change, you hand her to me.'

'Hey love, it was your bet.' He laughed, kissing my cheek.

'Whatever.'

It was the end of Carlie's bath time. Even though it was only eight o' clock, Edward was here and ready to help. It's been our routine for the past four months.

Edward wanted to bath Carlie, so he made sure that he turned up every morning, whenever he could to take part. Carlie absolutely adored her father and even though she was only four months, it was obvious that she's a daddy's girl.

Looking at Edward putting on Carlie's dress was an adorable sight.

Carlie was gurgling happily thinking that Edward was playing with her. Consequently, she was moving all over the place,

'Come here, you.' Edward growled playfully. Carlie squealed with joy.

I watched them two play around before picking up the bath to empty. After putting the bath and the toiletries away, I went downstairs to dispose of the soiled nappy.

By the time I went back to the bathroom to join Edward and Carlie, she was fully dressing wearing a pink dress and the sandals that Rosalie got for her. Edward had Carlie on his shoulder, patting her back. I could see that he was bouncing her too much and before I could warn him, Carlie regurgitated part of her last food down his back.

'Oh no.' He moaned.

Carlie found this funny and started giggling.

'Don't worry; I'll get you another shirt.' I said as I wiped Carlie lips.

I went to my room and got a black shirt for him. Most of his clothes are here since he often stays over to help with Carlie.

'Here.' I said when I got back to the bathroom and handed him his shirt.

'Thanks love.' He gave me a short sweet kiss.

By 9:30, Carlie had been fed and was sleeping soundly in her basket in the living room with Edward and I feeling absolutely exhausted. For someone so little, she sure has a lot of energy.

I was tired and could have done with some sleep but I had too much to do. Since Carlie had been born, sleep had become a precious commodity. It seemed that when I wanted to sleep, Carlie wanted to be fed or have her diaper changed, and when I was awake, Carlie slept. Being deprived of sleep was like a form of brainwashing. Talking about washing, for someone so small, she went through her clothes quickly.

When I read the mother and baby books, they make it seem like everyone is living in a perfect situation, where family and friends were only a call away and ready to help relieve the stress of looking after a newborn. But even if you do have family and friend ready to help at the end of the day, it's still your baby. I'm lucky enough to have a partner who's ready to be in his child's life but still the full load of work still rested with me.

There are times when I feel like breaking down and crying, admitting to the world that I can't handle the pressure but I couldn't. There are times when I feel like giving up and asking Edward for help, especially during the nights but I couldn't. Like Eminem said in his song, life isn't a Nintendo game. You can't pause and start all over again like I used to do when I'm playing Mario cart and I'm losing a race, because in real you can't don't call the shot, life will want to knock you down but you need to stay strong.

'Love?' I heard Edward say. I was currently lying on Edward chest while he was playing with my hair.

'Hmm.' I answered.

'Move in with me, well Esme and Carlisle house.' I jerked my head to face him.

'What?' I asked to see if I didn't imagine the words.

'I said move in with us.'

'Edward... I don't know.' I said hesitantly.

'Come on love. It'll benefit us all, Carlie especially, having both her parents under one roof. There's space for her to roam around like all kids do. I love you Bella. We can be a real family.' He reached out and took my hands. 'What do you say?'

'What will Esme and Carlisle say about having us in their house? I mean Emmett is there, Alice is there, you're there then add us what will they say. It's gonna be too crowded.'

'Bella, are you kidding? Esme threaten me that if I don't ask you I'm gonna have to sleep outside, besides Emmett and Alice are in college. It'll give us a practice before we buy our own house. Baby, come on. It'll be easier to raise Carlie.'

'What about Charlie?' I asked.

'Charlie is a grown man who's with Sue Clearwater. Baby, start living your life, you also need to stop making excuses.'

I contemplated his words.

'Love, move in with me.' He said again.

I thought about it: living under one roof, having someone to help out during the hard nights. Being able to shift all that weight from my shoulders and have someone to balance it. I mean don't get me wrong, Edward is wonderful with Carlie when he's here, but when he's gone, I'm all alone, so having him there almost 24/7 will be great.

'Edward... I love to move in with you.' As soon as I finished my sentence, Edward crashed his lips to mine.

* * *

'Jane Clarks, the young seventeen- year-old from England in lane one... she's a head taller than the other competitors; and she looks full of confidence. There they go on the starting blocks... they are off... Morton of Canada is leading the race. She's cutting through the water, with Allison Swan of Australia right behind her... Clarks is closing the gap between her and Swan... yes those three are shaping the race now... they are on the last lap. It's Swan in the lead... yes Clarks is holding on tight... yes, it's Swan out in the front and it's Allison Swan of Australia who wins the women's 100 meters freestyle. Seventeen-year-old Allison Swan takes the gold for Australia.'

I leaned back in the armchair as Allison was being interviewed. Tears of joy were streaming down her face. Tears of sadness were flowing down mine. It was so ironic that we shared the same last name.

I met Jane Clarks the day of the trials, she'd come second to me.

I kept myself busy with Carlie and packing our stuff for the last few days. I knew of by heart, the dates of the Commonwealth Games and I grew more and more nervous as the days passed.

I'm pretty sure everyone knew, Charlie, Renee, Edward but no one mentioned it, and neither had I. I had marked the dates out in big red letters on the calendar in Charlie's kitchen when I first qualified and nor I felt so tempted to Tipp-ex the dates out, but that would have made it even more obvious.

Watching the Games on T.V brought home all the changes in my life. I was an eighteen-year-old girl, with a newborn baby. I've heard other women say that having a bay does not stop you from achieving your dreams, that it just made it a bit harder. That's true on a sense, but the Commonwealth Games does not happen every year and it would take me a while to get back in shape again and up to speed. What if I never get picked for the trials again?

But even if I didn't, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have something else that matters, Carlie.

I looked at Carlie, who was in her baby seat, sleeping peacefully, totally oblivious to the harsh world out there. She was happy, well as long as she was fed, cleaned and got adequate sleep, then she's happy.

Now, in having a baby, I knew a lot more about 'life'.

It doesn't stop when things don't work out the way you want.

I heard Edward's car beeped outside. I switched off the T.V, picked up Carlie's baby seat, grabbed the remaining of our stuff and walked out of Charlie's house.

I'd come to the terms with my life and yes, I'm happy.

I knew I had to move on and more up and even though my life was now a million miles from what I had imagined, I am going to live it to the max, with the two people I love the most!

**The End!**

**Well people that's it. Swimming In The Deep End has finally come to an end! I reached my target and that was to finish this story before school starts again in September. I have a feeling that I'm gonna be doing lots of course works, well that my fault for picking the subjects I did.**

_**Elle - **_**The new story I gonna write was inspired by a book I read. You can say it was my muse. I don't have a summary for it yet but I can give you a small teaser and if you like it you might be interested in reading the full story.**

"Bella, I am so, so sorry.'' She said in an anguished voice. She got up from her leather sear and came to stand in from of me. "Bella, God... umm... your daughter... she...' I barely got the rest. The minute the words daughter left her lips, I was somewhere else. I heard her talking but it sounded like she was talking from the bottom of a well. I could hardly make out the words- your daughter, stopped breathing, Renee your mother, ambulance, you mother wants you home now."

**What do you think is going on? It's not what you'll expect, well I hope not. LOL**

Thank you for everyone that had reviewed: Romanceaholic, Mordanyes, Barbie2, Bella-cullen1989, Spannieres, Twilightlvr4ur, Bellaangel383, Miss F Cullen and everyone else. I loved your reviews the good and the bad but I liked the good ones better. LOL. : )

So, please for one last time review for swimming in the deep end. :)

Ayo. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	33. Chapter 33

Hello, I made a poll for the story Elle; I'll like to see who you think that Elle's father is! So please check out the profile and vote. Some might know it others might not!

Thanks, Ayo. XXXX


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